Convince that there are young men who believe in women’s rights

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 yr old daughter, who just moved to new city with a new job, has lost her faith in men. After America chose a misogynistic rapist to lead our country, she believes there are no men worth dating. She’s scared for her future and wants nothing to do with men. I am trying to convince her that there are supportive kind men out there (including her own father). Can you share examples of young men fighting for women’s rights?

Yes. They are in the US military and are either fighting for or willing to fight for the rights of women as well as men. However, your daughter is not worthy of them.

What? Whoa. Did you actually just say that?

Yes. What member of the military wants to be saddled with OP as a mother-in-law or the daughter as a wife. Military spouses have to respect people of both genders and she has lost faith in men. They have to be resilient and the daughter sounds as if she can handle no adversity. They have to love their spouse to endure the sacrifices they are called upon to make. The daughter loves no one but herself as she is not willing to tolerate anyone but those who meet her standards.

You got that from OPs post?

[Anonymous]

Interesting that, but for a few, no one is responding with reasons daughter should not be scared and why she should trust that women’s rights still matter to most men. Only calling her a shrew and shaming the parent.

[Anonymous]

There are men who care about women’s bodily autonomy. I’m married to one. He was born and raised in TX and is former military and a gov’t contractor. I promise they are out there.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, if I was a woman of child-bearing age, and I lived in a red state with strict abortion laws, I probably wouldn't be dating either.

Even if she finds a nice guy, getting pregnant in a red state could be fatal and or life ruining.

I would advise her to freeze some eggs and focus on a career and hobbies for a few year.

-- a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if I was a woman of child-bearing age, and I lived in a red state with strict abortion laws, I probably wouldn't be dating either.

Even if she finds a nice guy, getting pregnant in a red state could be fatal and or life ruining.

I would advise her to freeze some eggs and focus on a career and hobbies for a few year.

-- a man.

No one has to live in a red state. If you have the ability to freeze eggs, you have an ability to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now there aren't, but as we see a huge uptick in women getting pregnant and these men needing to pay child support, suddenly they'll start pushing for abortion.

Yes! Any state that limits abortion access must shore up child support legislation requiring any biological dad to pay 50% child support and a 75% of the mother’s lost wages. Then men might begin to comprehend what an 18 year commitment, without having little choice in the matter, looks like.

[Anonymous]

Welp. This message is directed solely to the OP. Given the tenor of the vast majority of the comments here, I expect to be similarly bashed. Save yourselves the effort, folks. I am pulling back on social media of all sorts, am closing this window and will not see your replies.

OP, ignore what most of these posters have said. It is entirely understandable that your daughter is frightened, given the "your body, my choice" stuff that has already trickled down to even to young boys in middle school. It is disheartening to have a rapist (folks, let's not quibble over terms; do your prefer "sex pest"? "sexual abuser"? "pedophile"?) in the highest office of the land. Tell your daughter to seek to expand her friendships among like-minded young women. There is strength in numbers. Also, many of them have friends, brothers, cousins, co-workers who are good men. There ARE good men out there. Encourage her to try to meet people in the real world, not through dating apps. Tell your daughter to cultivate friendships and trust her gut. She'll be okay. Sending you strength for the dark days ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if I was a woman of child-bearing age, and I lived in a red state with strict abortion laws, I probably wouldn't be dating either.

Even if she finds a nice guy, getting pregnant in a red state could be fatal and or life ruining.

I would advise her to freeze some eggs and focus on a career and hobbies for a few year.

-- a man.

Psycho

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if I was a woman of child-bearing age, and I lived in a red state with strict abortion laws, I probably wouldn't be dating either.

Even if she finds a nice guy, getting pregnant in a red state could be fatal and or life ruining.

I would advise her to freeze some eggs and focus on a career and hobbies for a few year.

-- a man.

No one has to live in a red state. If you have the ability to freeze eggs, you have an ability to move.

The cost of freezing eggs is peanuts compared to the cost-of-living premium for living in a blue state.

The legislatures of the more moderate red states will be eventually be forced to moderate their abortion restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if I was a woman of child-bearing age, and I lived in a red state with strict abortion laws, I probably wouldn't be dating either.

Even if she finds a nice guy, getting pregnant in a red state could be fatal and or life ruining.

I would advise her to freeze some eggs and focus on a career and hobbies for a few year.

-- a man.

Psycho

How is this "psycho"?

[Anonymous]

OP, your daughter's fears are reasonable. Regardless of what policy decisions will be made in the next four years, it is not in dispute that Trump's campaign has enabled the vitriol right here on this thread. It's not enough that the candidate won; the sputtering hostility towards women belies something else. What else? Hard to say say. What I do know is that confident, kind men (and women) don't need to punch down as these posters have. Guiding your young adult through dating and partner-finding is a tricky process, politics aside.

As to what she can do practically: while I do agree that misogyny played a role in this outcome, the cause was multifactorial (economics primarily, but also a persistent foreign disinformation campaign). This was not just a referendum on women. Also don't be fooled by stats: a significant proportion of American men voted differently. Be wary of viewing men as a monolith. It doesn't help them or us.

Finally, this has been an event that has defined her relationship goals. She clearly values equality in a relationship; traditional gender roles are not her thing. So she dates accordingly. As moms we know there is no playbook to doing it "right", but there's certainly a playbook to doing it wrong. Guys who want her to stop working upon marriage? No thanks. Guys who don't independently cook or plan or manage their own lives? No thanks. These guys are out there. Fear and sadness comes from a sense of loss of control. I too feel a loss as our country and this thread delights in being anti-woman. But it's an echo chamber. She has to turn awake from negative rhetoric like this thread to see and meet men who share her ideals. They're out there.

[Anonymous]

If you don't date and don't get laid then abortion isn't even an issue. So the strategy, ironically, makes zero sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From OP - daughter is not a “shrew” or a “cat lady” - she is scared. I didn’t reference abortion specifically in my post. She is scared that a misogynistic (grab em by the p*ssy) rapist was elected president again and that men (and women) are OK with that. She is scared that respect for women doesn’t matter in society anymore and this is just the beginning of a downward spiral of women’s rights.

Partisan jury declined to find Trump responsible for rape, so start with your lack of information.

But OPs 25 yr old big baby is “scared”. Maybe she should go spend some time in underdeveloped countries and learn what lack of respect or being scared really means.

That’s where we’re headed. Reason to be scared.

Only in the minds of the paranoid. Mental health issues are rampant here.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don't date and don't get laid then abortion isn't even an issue. So the strategy, ironically, makes zero sense.

It doesn't matter because abortion bans have already started to degrade the healthcare system for women in abortion ban states. That is going to continue. If you're young and thinking about starting a family with or without a partner, I would absolutely opt for a state without abortion bans if you can.

Some corporations also consider this issue if they're trying to attract employees.

[Anonymous]

OP, at 25, your daughter is a grown adult. Let her grow up and figure out her own peer relationships. Your work is done. Time to get a life of your own.