Did your "girls school" daughter date at all in high school?

[Anonymous]

As someone who didn't date in high school...who had a really hard time in college because I hadn't had enough "safe" and innocent practice in high school...I can understand where this is coming from.

As a parent, I am going to set strict boundaries for dating but I do think it's healthy for kids to be able to go out and interact with the opposite sex while they are in high school. One of the reservations I have as a parent in choosing an all girls school is interaction with boys. Even outside of dating, I think there is value in not having college be the first time they have really interacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll have fun in college.

You'd think so but my daughter who went to an all girls HS is now intimidated by boys at college. Not so much academically, but definitely socially. She would have been better off in co-ed for social development.

Perhaps bc men can be intimidating, something we learn to live with but shouldn’t have to. Like walking alone in an alley - it’s not the alley that is dangerous, it’s the men who intimidate and attack.
Just saying that is she was lucky to be in a place where she felt safe and free then had to transition to being vigilant, this is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll have fun in college.

You'd think so but my daughter who went to an all girls HS is now intimidated by boys at college. Not so much academically, but definitely socially. She would have been better off in co-ed for social development.

Perhaps bc men can be intimidating, something we learn to live with but shouldn’t have to. Like walking alone in an alley - it’s not the alley that is dangerous, it’s the men who intimidate and attack.
Just saying that is she was lucky to be in a place where she felt safe and free then had to transition to being vigilant, this is sad.

No, I don't think those of you have kids in coed schools are getting it.

A parent a few posts back said, "I don't care if my kids date, they hang out in large groups." The thing at girls schools is that there is very little (and often no) "hanging out" with guys in large groups. That is why right around when our girls are in 11th or 12th grade many of us are like, "huh, should i be worried about this? is it ok that my kid is not dating (and by dating I mean talking to, hanging out, not hot-and-heavy exclusive dating or sex) before college?" Is it okay for my girl to go to college having never texted a male (for any reason?)

Yes, i know we signed up for this. But most of us weren't thinking AT ALL about dating or boys when we enrolled our daughters in PK or 4th grade or 7th grade or even 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll have fun in college.

You'd think so but my daughter who went to an all girls HS is now intimidated by boys at college. Not so much academically, but definitely socially. She would have been better off in co-ed for social development.

Perhaps bc men can be intimidating, something we learn to live with but shouldn’t have to. Like walking alone in an alley - it’s not the alley that is dangerous, it’s the men who intimidate and attack.
Just saying that is she was lucky to be in a place where she felt safe and free then had to transition to being vigilant, this is sad.

No, I don't think those of you have kids in coed schools are getting it.

A parent a few posts back said, "I don't care if my kids date, they hang out in large groups." The thing at girls schools is that there is very little (and often no) "hanging out" with guys in large groups. That is why right around when our girls are in 11th or 12th grade many of us are like, "huh, should i be worried about this? is it ok that my kid is not dating (and by dating I mean talking to, hanging out, not hot-and-heavy exclusive dating or sex) before college?" Is it okay for my girl to go to college having never texted a male (for any reason?)

Yes, i know we signed up for this. But most of us weren't thinking AT ALL about dating or boys when we enrolled our daughters in PK or 4th grade or 7th grade or even 9th grade.

My daughter and friends are at an all girls school and they spend every single weekend with a large group of friends that are boys. I think it is more specific to certain girls rather than all girls v. all boys. There are other places to meets boys and interact with boys isn't there? Our school has a few activities that are coed and there are activities outside of school as well.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter didn't date at all in HS. Frankly I don't think it's as much of a big deal as it was in our day.

She has been dating in college, for what that's worth.

[Anonymous]

STA mom. The smart athletic boys don’t date much because they have no time. Sports + academics takes up most of their time. I wish they had more down time but they are happy and love STA. Dating is not a priority for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so odd that parents think about their kids' dating life like that.

I went to an all girls HS (my sister too); she dated a lot, I dated never. We've both been married 15+ years now.

DP. I think it's really odd that you come in here to insult another parent.

you thought me using the word odd was an insult? you need thicker skin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STA mom. The smart athletic boys don’t date much because they have no time. Sports + academics takes up most of their time. I wish they had more down time but they are happy and love STA. Dating is not a priority for them.

I know several of the smart athletic STA boys and they are actually all dating girls. I get it is not a priority for all or some but definitely lots of STA boys are dating girls and even some have girlfriends and they are the athletic sporty ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STA mom. The smart athletic boys don’t date much because they have no time. Sports + academics takes up most of their time. I wish they had more down time but they are happy and love STA. Dating is not a priority for them.

My boy isn’t at STA but was going to say the same thing.

Coach told them you can pick two of the following: either be great at your sport, get great grades or have a great social life/gf. You can’t have all 3.

Recruited athlete with great grades…made his choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She'll have fun in college.

You'd think so but my daughter who went to an all girls HS is now intimidated by boys at college. Not so much academically, but definitely socially. She would have been better off in co-ed for social development.

Perhaps bc men can be intimidating, something we learn to live with but shouldn’t have to. Like walking alone in an alley - it’s not the alley that is dangerous, it’s the men who intimidate and attack.
Just saying that is she was lucky to be in a place where she felt safe and free then had to transition to being vigilant, this is sad.

No, I don't think those of you have kids in coed schools are getting it.

A parent a few posts back said, "I don't care if my kids date, they hang out in large groups." The thing at girls schools is that there is very little (and often no) "hanging out" with guys in large groups. That is why right around when our girls are in 11th or 12th grade many of us are like, "huh, should i be worried about this? is it ok that my kid is not dating (and by dating I mean talking to, hanging out, not hot-and-heavy exclusive dating or sex) before college?" Is it okay for my girl to go to college having never texted a male (for any reason?)

Yes, i know we signed up for this. But most of us weren't thinking AT ALL about dating or boys when we enrolled our daughters in PK or 4th grade or 7th grade or even 9th grade.

A lot of the girls we know at single sex schools are socializing regularly with boys and know boys. Does your daughter have friends from their neighborhood or other outside activities that are boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so odd that parents think about their kids' dating life like that.

I went to an all girls HS (my sister too); she dated a lot, I dated never. We've both been married 15+ years now.

DP. I think it's really odd that you come in here to insult another parent.

NP....I too find it odd that parents are worried about their kids dating in HS. Weird. Let them be young as long as possible. It is a mean world out there.

My sister in law went to an all-girls school and never dated in HS. She went to a Catholic college on the opposite coast and fell in love with a guy she met her freshman year. She dated him all of college and for another 10 years after graduation - they moved cities, bought a house, and then he came out as gay. We all had our suspicions, but they stayed together so long we figured we were wrong. I often wonder if she could have wasted less time if she had more experience dating and interacting with young men when she lived at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so odd that parents think about their kids' dating life like that.

I went to an all girls HS (my sister too); she dated a lot, I dated never. We've both been married 15+ years now.

DP. I think it's really odd that you come in here to insult another parent.

NP....I too find it odd that parents are worried about their kids dating in HS. Weird. Let them be young as long as possible. It is a mean world out there.

My sister in law went to an all-girls school and never dated in HS. She went to a Catholic college on the opposite coast and fell in love with a guy she met her freshman year. She dated him all of college and for another 10 years after graduation - they moved cities, bought a house, and then he came out as gay. We all had our suspicions, but they stayed together so long we figured we were wrong. I often wonder if she could have wasted less time if she had more experience dating and interacting with young men when she lived at home.

Sounds like a very specific instance. I guess everyone has different experiences.

My daughter is at a single sex school and has many boys who are friends and she just started dating and is happy either way.