Did your "girls school" daughter date at all in high school?

[Anonymous]

In my case it's because my 18 year old daughter would really like to date. From talking to her friends' moms (who are my friends) their daughters are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is an 18 year old senior at an all-girls school and hasn't dated at all. Well, technically she was asked to the prom last year by a platonic friend of a friend. She occasionally goes to parties with girlfriends and is pretty social but it's never led to any guy being interested in her or any texting or dates. I really think I'm accurate in this (no, she isn't hooking up with guys at parties). On the random occasion or two that a guy has texted her (maybe twice in high school?) she was super excited about it but it never went anywhere but a 2 or 3 text exchange.

I certainly don't know exactly who in her grade is dating but my impression is that it's about 10 girls---the extremely pretty ones--- and they serially date--sometimes dating a guy for a year, sometimes for a few months. These seem to be the only ones who date (to my knowledge as a mom). Lest I get called a creepy mom-stalker--I don't know any of this for sure. It's just my impression from what my daughter tells me, what other moms chat about, etc.

If you have (or better yet had) a daughter at an All-girls school was this their experience? It is just so different from my own. it does seem to be typical among her friend group (I'd say 1 of 6 have been on any dates in high school outside of being asked to a formal). Certainly there is nothing I can do about it but I'm just curious and can't really ask around in real life.

Maybe you should go hang out with the mom who knows about every kid’s GPA? Seems like you could keep each other occupied gossiping about high schoolers.

Land the helicopter. She will be fine.

[Anonymous]

It’s the phones and social media. They all feel so awkward socially. They don’t know how to talk to eachother.

[Anonymous]

My boys at an all-boy HS were similar. They had dates to Prom, Homecoming--but just set up by someone right before. They didn't date the girls before or after.

Time was a big factor. The kids were straight A students that played sports. The sports were 4 weeknights and games on the weekends (often lots of travel to other states) pretty much year-round. When they had free time they hung with their guy friends who had similar schedules.

Frankly, I'm glad. We had a lot of neighbors' kids whose grades took a serious nosedive and had all kinds of drama with dating/HS Bfs/gfs. Also, the ones dating were also in the 'party' scene.

My kids transitioned to college just fine---club sports, lots of friends and met and dated girls in college.

No rush. I'd say it was a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is an 18 year old senior at an all-girls school and hasn't dated at all. Well, technically she was asked to the prom last year by a platonic friend of a friend. She occasionally goes to parties with girlfriends and is pretty social but it's never led to any guy being interested in her or any texting or dates. I really think I'm accurate in this (no, she isn't hooking up with guys at parties). On the random occasion or two that a guy has texted her (maybe twice in high school?) she was super excited about it but it never went anywhere but a 2 or 3 text exchange.

I certainly don't know exactly who in her grade is dating but my impression is that it's about 10 girls---the extremely pretty ones--- and they serially date--sometimes dating a guy for a year, sometimes for a few months. These seem to be the only ones who date (to my knowledge as a mom). Lest I get called a creepy mom-stalker--I don't know any of this for sure. It's just my impression from what my daughter tells me, what other moms chat about, etc.

If you have (or better yet had) a daughter at an All-girls school was this their experience? It is just so different from my own. it does seem to be typical among her friend group (I'd say 1 of 6 have been on any dates in high school outside of being asked to a formal). Certainly there is nothing I can do about it but I'm just curious and can't really ask around in real life.

So what’s wrong with this? She’ll date in college if she’s half way decent looking and she would date even if she’s not. I think parents fret about this too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it so odd that parents think about their kids' dating life like that.

I went to an all girls HS (my sister too); she dated a lot, I dated never. We've both been married 15+ years now.

Exactly. I think it’s odd too. What are you worried about? Chill. I’m sure your anxiety is palpable.

[Anonymous]

Mine did. One guy (from a public school) for a few months Junior year. I have no idea if her friends did or not-never asked. They never took dates to dances-just went as a friend group.

This is about the same amount of dating as my public school kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is an 18 year old senior at an all-girls school and hasn't dated at all. Well, technically she was asked to the prom last year by a platonic friend of a friend. She occasionally goes to parties with girlfriends and is pretty social but it's never led to any guy being interested in her or any texting or dates. I really think I'm accurate in this (no, she isn't hooking up with guys at parties). On the random occasion or two that a guy has texted her (maybe twice in high school?) she was super excited about it but it never went anywhere but a 2 or 3 text exchange.

I certainly don't know exactly who in her grade is dating but my impression is that it's about 10 girls---the extremely pretty ones--- and they serially date--sometimes dating a guy for a year, sometimes for a few months. These seem to be the only ones who date (to my knowledge as a mom). Lest I get called a creepy mom-stalker--I don't know any of this for sure. It's just my impression from what my daughter tells me, what other moms chat about, etc.

If you have (or better yet had) a daughter at an All-girls school was this their experience? It is just so different from my own. it does seem to be typical among her friend group (I'd say 1 of 6 have been on any dates in high school outside of being asked to a formal). Certainly there is nothing I can do about it but I'm just curious and can't really ask around in real life.

Gossiping is not good especially about young girls and boys.

Exactly. I also find this odd. I would prefer my DD not date at her all girls school. If she happened to meet someone, fine but it can be distracting at this age and can cause some serious mental health if things don’t go well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so odd that parents think about their kids' dating life like that.

I went to an all girls HS (my sister too); she dated a lot, I dated never. We've both been married 15+ years now.

DP. I think it's really odd that you come in here to insult another parent.

NP....I too find it odd that parents are worried about their kids dating in HS. Weird. Let them be young as long as possible. It is a mean world out there.

Yup. And when they get to college there will also be other boys and girls who haven’t dated.

[Anonymous]

Nope—mine is in college and still hasn’t had a date—my kid would have been better off in coed for more interaction with boys in general.

For those who don’t get why lack of dating bugs some parents, a first heart break can be really tough and I would have preferred her to get than under her belt while living at home and having more parental support. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school senior goes to a coed school and has close friends who are boys, and hasn't been on any dates. It's personality, not where they go to school.

I think that going to an all girls school makes it a little harder though. My daughter went to NCS (during covid, which didn't help). Many of her classmates dated boys from STA, but those girls typically were girls who had been at NCS for a long time (and thus had had many years to get to know the STA lifers); were involved in co-ed activities (music, theater, certain sports); and/or who were in a friend group with girls who could help them make those connections. My daughter just didn't have many opportunities to get to know guys at STA or other local schools (in part because she was always studying)!

She's a senior in college now and doesn't seem to have suffered any adverse effects from her lack of high school dating. In fact, starting college without a high school boyfriend gave her a more robust social life than many of her peers who were trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with a s/o (which seems to happen a lot more now than when I was in college).

I knew a lot of girls in “long distance” relationships who had very active “social” life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school senior goes to a coed school and has close friends who are boys, and hasn't been on any dates. It's personality, not where they go to school.

I think that going to an all girls school makes it a little harder though. My daughter went to NCS (during covid, which didn't help). Many of her classmates dated boys from STA, but those girls typically were girls who had been at NCS for a long time (and thus had had many years to get to know the STA lifers); were involved in co-ed activities (music, theater, certain sports); and/or who were in a friend group with girls who could help them make those connections. My daughter just didn't have many opportunities to get to know guys at STA or other local schools (in part because she was always studying)!

She's a senior in college now and doesn't seem to have suffered any adverse effects from her lack of high school dating. In fact, starting college without a high school boyfriend gave her a more robust social life than many of her peers who were trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with a s/o (which seems to happen a lot more now than when I was in college).

I knew a lot of girls in “long distance” relationships who had very active “social” life.

Ha! I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

DDs are in coed private and have had maybe 1 or 2 dates outside of prom/hoco.

I am not worried. They would like to date but not happened yet.

I am not worried.

[Anonymous]

I’m crossing my fingers my DS gets married by 30 so not so worried about years 14-18. Seems like a decade+ to get heartaches under your belt will be plenty. They are so immature now, so stupid, and so likely to change and grow. I love that we aren’t dating and have zero anticipation of that happening in the next year or so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope—mine is in college and still hasn’t had a date—my kid would have been better off in coed for more interaction with boys in general.

For those who don’t get why lack of dating bugs some parents, a first heart break can be really tough and I would have preferred her to get than under her belt while living at home and having more parental support. I

This is a good point!