Agree also. But it would have been nice to actually feel nurtured. |
Not one. |
LOL. I still remember the Christmas that my brother cried because he wanted all of MY Christmas gifts also and my parents bullied me until I gave him all my gifts. On Christmas Day!! I don’t think they did try to be good parents. Why would anyone think this is appropriate behavior? Why would anyone look at that and think “oh look at the unwavering love and resolve”? |
I have happy memories but they are before the youngest siblings were born. At some point after that the darkness came. |
My generalized memory of my parents is of loneliness. They were not interested, or involved. It was a 'children should be seen and not heard' environment, and stepping out of line got a kid smacked. There were instances that were more severe than others, and those stand out, but my parents weren't routinely abusive.
My mom tells me-- every chance she gets-- about all the wonderful things they did for us. The travel, the gifts, the opportunities, etc. Strange how those don't stand out in my memory the way that getting dragged (literally) by the arm out of a department store does. That said, I believe my upbringing was typical or better, for the time and place. Everyone got smacked sometimes, and some kids had it worse. No one's parents played with them, or talked to them other than to issue commands. Everyone liked their kids best when they were succeeding and conforming. No one celebrated children for the sake of childhood. |
+ 1 yeah, no to that poster. My mom was a pampered princess golden child with a scapegoat brother. She scapegoated me and turned my drunk brother into a golden child. He still can do no wrong and she still tells the story of my brother punching her in the stomach before I was born. “He was so angry and sad because you were on the way.” Barf,beyotch Got plenty more of her quotes floating around in my head forever including “you’ve been such a disappointment, HUGE” |
I am sorry you endured that. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. Please accept a virtual hug from this stranger. |
Omg - we must have the same father. Mine was a junkie "artist" who couldn't be distracted by his (at least) 4 children. I saw him last 50 years ago when I was 5 and he showed up at my birthday party. His gift was a tape recorder with my name on it. I didn't understand what was a tape recorder and I asked him about it, so he said I was stupid. |
After my dad died, people told me how proud he was of me.
I thought to myself, " Are you sure we are talking about the same person?" I certainly never felt that in any way. |
I think for most people, the strongest memories of childhood that they recall as adults are negative. I think this statistically is just what happens as the negative emotion felt during the incident that forms the memory, is so much stronger than a happy moment.
Having said that, I have happy memories of my father and a lot of unhappy memories of my mother. |