Does anyone have zero happy memories of their mother or father?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Both my husband and I have no good memories of our parents. My single mother left me with my grandparents and went on to have 5 more kids with a bum. My husband's father fought for custody and won then also left him with his grandparents and started a new family who he was a father to.

Needless to say we both have issues but Dh's parents are gone and my mother i speak to less then 10 times a year even though she lives 3 blocks away.

But in the end I'm thankful because it taught me how to be a mother that is caring and supportive and for my dh he says everything he does is because he didn't want to be the man his father was.

[Anonymous]

I don't. Not one.

[Anonymous]

Very few. I was not a priority in any way. We rarely talk anymore and it’s probably been a year. She sees my kid yearly.

[Anonymous]

I have a few but mostly negative ones of her screaming, taking out her moods on me, and prioritizing herself on me. Oh and memories of her beating me. It’s funny how despite all that the few positive ones still make me feel tender. We rarely talk and see each other now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

My mother was not kind to me and never showed affection. She verbally and physically abused me and neglected me physically, emotionally and medically. She was wonderful to my other siblings showing love, care and protection which was not given to me. I grew up believing there was something wrong with me and I was unlovable. I had an abusive relationship as a teenager which altered the course of my life.

I have not forgiven my late mother, as she never acknowledged the abuse and neglect. In her eyes, I was the source of all my family's problems. Once I was an adult and had my first round of therapy (4 years), I was able to establish a civil relationship with her. I have broken the cycle of abuse and dysfunction with my dh and our children through decades of therapy, commitment and a bit of "I'll prove a broken person can be happy, break the cycle and raise healthy kids."

The only happy memories I have are of being grateful she didn't hurt my siblings.

[Anonymous]

My dad was a deadbeat drug addict and alcoholic. The happiest memory I have of him is him calling for my birthday, late or not on my bday, in the middle of the night and singing a song about cocaine to me. As like, a 6 year old.
Bizarre the things that stick in your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

She gave you life so you could be grateful for this. Chances are good that at least one of your children will feel the same about you as you feel about your mother. If you think your resentment was ND hatred of your mother hasn't been obvious to your children then you are delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

🩷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

She gave you life so you could be grateful for this. Chances are good that at least one of your children will feel the same about you as you feel about your mother. If you think your resentment was ND hatred of your mother hasn't been obvious to your children then you are delusional.

I highly doubt that. It's people like you, who cannot recognize abuse, who will continue the cycle. I'm a dp who isn't grateful for being born. In fact, I'd rather have not be born only to be a target of abuse. That is sick in the head to think anyone should be grateful to an abuser. By understanding that we were abused and that it was wrong and certainly undeserved, we can work to not visit that abuse on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My late father, a lifelong Olympic level high functioning alcoholic. His abiding interest and love was vodka. As a result, I have zero happy memories of him ( he died 10 years ago) and we never had a normal conversation nor did he ever spend one meaningful moment with me. No exaggeration.

Any time we were in the same room, he’d either be silently brooding, going on some sort of tirade, screaming at me, berating me or ordering me around.

Not one dad-daughter event or even fun activity. He did everything begrudgingly and angrily and most often, while drunk.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have many happy memories and there was no abuse in my home. I didn’t like how I was treated but nothing too traumatic.

From a young age I remember wanting to get away from my parents. I feel guilty about this.

[Anonymous]

I was just thinking about this today - how most of my childhood memories are sad things, and wondering if that was normal. I have very few memories and they are mostly bad. Really, no good memories of my dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a single happy memory of my mother. I’m assuming this is somewhat rare even for people abused like I was. I’m in my 40’s and have a great family myself now. If you did grow up with a horrible mother, do you still have happy memories? I just have a deep resentment and hatred towards her and nothing else.

She gave you life so you could be grateful for this. Chances are good that at least one of your children will feel the same about you as you feel about your mother. If you think your resentment was ND hatred of your mother hasn't been obvious to your children then you are delusional.

I'm sorry you have a poor relationship with your children. I can you tell I won't have that relationship with my children. I have nothing to be grateful for. She had no business bringing children in the world to mentally and physically abuse them. She gave my sibling her rx painkillers until he was addicted and eventually died from a fentanyl overdose at the age of 32. You know, you probably could apologize for how off base you are with your vitriol.

[Anonymous]

** Also my kids have never met her and never will. So they have no idea.