10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.

+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.

No you are very wrong. I actually decided to stay at home, retire early when DD was in middle/ high school. I made sure she was up and at school every morning even though it was a PITA to get her out of bed. I made sure teachers followed her IEP. Her first year of college she failed everything because she can not get herself up. There is no alarm that will wake her up. She basically trained herself to ignore the alarms.

+1 A 10th grader can babysit, have a job and do many things involving responsibilities. Two working parents should be able to trust the kid to get up and get ready for the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PPs for all of the advice and tips. First time, I was a field trip chaperone with younger sibling and could not get back to the house until afternoon; DH has a set flex early schedule so that day he was out for work by 4:30am and working from the Baltimore office. She missed school that day. Second time, I got back to her but with traffic it was already nearly 10am before she got there. Third time, same scenario but with DH on his late day (on those he leaves at 7am).

Alarms go off 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, bus comes 8:05/8:07; second stop across the street is 8:11/8:13 timeframe. I stop in 6, 6:30 then head off to drop off siblings/ to work. She does not want to be driven and dropped at the school thus we ended up with her catching the bus. School starts at 8:55 but she has a 25-ish minute commute without the bus stops added in. On a traffic heavy day the school is a good 30 minutes away.

No health issues, no special needs, timing is the huge part - while she will be awake in the moment you step into the room, saying she is going to get to showering in the next few minutes, it’s trying to do a one hour get ready sequence there’s just not enough time [/b]but she does not want to compromise on any one morning item - clothes, shower, skin care, makeup.[b]

She does have a friend who is in the next neighborhood who she is in contact with however, that has not helped. Ubers and Lyft are hit/miss; not overly abundant in our suburb. I’m also not a fan of the shared ride option given what happened not too long ago in Oxon Hill.

OP, that's too bad she doesn't want to compromise--but she's going to have to if she's to get to school on time-or find it within herself to get up earlier. You need to make this a big deal, so she gets this done--if you take away her phone for a week for days where she doesn't make it to school I suspect she'll shape up pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PPs for all of the advice and tips. First time, I was a field trip chaperone with younger sibling and could not get back to the house until afternoon; DH has a set flex early schedule so that day he was out for work by 4:30am and working from the Baltimore office. She missed school that day. Second time, I got back to her but with traffic it was already nearly 10am before she got there. Third time, same scenario but with DH on his late day (on those he leaves at 7am).

Alarms go off 5:30, 6, 6:30, 7, bus comes 8:05/8:07; second stop across the street is 8:11/8:13 timeframe. I stop in 6, 6:30 then head off to drop off siblings/ to work. She does not want to be driven and dropped at the school thus we ended up with her catching the bus. School starts at 8:55 but she has a 25-ish minute commute without the bus stops added in. On a traffic heavy day the school is a good 30 minutes away.

No health issues, no special needs, timing is the huge part - while she will be awake in the moment you step into the room, saying she is going to get to showering in the next few minutes, it’s trying to do a one hour get ready sequence there’s just not enough time [/b]but she does not want to compromise on any one morning item - clothes, shower, skin care, makeup.[b]

She does have a friend who is in the next neighborhood who she is in contact with however, that has not helped. Ubers and Lyft are hit/miss; not overly abundant in our suburb. I’m also not a fan of the shared ride option given what happened not too long ago in Oxon Hill.

OP, that's too bad she doesn't want to compromise--but she's going to have to if she's to get to school on time-or find it within herself to get up earlier. You need to make this a big deal, so she gets this done--if you take away her phone for a week for days where she doesn't make it to school I suspect she'll shape up pretty quickly.

Oh, yeah. I used a similar consequence on my kid who had a couple of tardies early in the year due to poor time management - if she was tardy to a class, phone was mine from the time she got home after school until she walked out the door the next morning. It worked.

[Anonymous]

How far away is school? Can she bike there if she misses her bus? She's certainly old enough and it may give her a kick in the pants to get herself up.

[Anonymous]

Take the phone away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.

+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.

This. One parent needs to be home until she leaves for school, period.

This is ridiculous. Most 15 year olds are fully capable of getting up, getting dressed and getting out the door. I am unsure why this requires adult supervision. Are you all kids special needs that they can not do this on their own?

This 15 year old is not capable of it.

[Anonymous]

This would be unacceptable to me. She needs to have privileges revoked for one week if she misses bus. And be forced to go to bed early, after parent checking that outfit led out, shower taken, etc.

[Anonymous]

Put her phone next to the front door, before you leave the house so she has to get up out of bed to get it.
Use a manual alarm clock.
She should start drinking coffee in the AM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.

+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.

This. One parent needs to be home until she leaves for school, period.

This is ridiculous. Most 15 year olds are fully capable of getting up, getting dressed and getting out the door. I am unsure why this requires adult supervision. Are you all kids special needs that they can not do this on their own?

my AUDHD 15 year old leaves the house on her own every morning. don't blame disabilities for this kid's laziness.

[Anonymous]

I'm willing to bet this is less of a waking up problem than it is a going to bed on time problem. If DD needs out of the house by 8:00 AM and needs an hour to get dressed (I'd make sure the only things she has to do is shower/dress/out the door, and everything that can be done the night before is done then), then she should reasonably be able to get up at 7:00 AM to do so. Which is not an entirely unreasonable hour. To get that minimum of 8 hours a day, she needs to be in bed by 11:00.

OP, in your shoes, I'd attempt to enforce bed times (all electronics in your room), wake her up, and make sure she's in the shower before you/DH leaves.

[Anonymous]

My adhd girl does this. Hits snooze and forgets about life.

[Anonymous]

I would make her get up and drop her off on your way to work. Shift your schedule start a little later but make her sit outside school until the doors open. Do this for two weeks and I bet it won’t happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There needs to be consequences for her not getting up and going to school. A parent should not change their schedule or remind a 15 year old to go to school. I am sure she remembers and is on time to go to parties or out with her friends, right?

Yes, but the parent is the one who will get in trouble for this behavior, not the kid. I know this because my best friend went through the same thing. Her son kept falling back asleep and missing the bus. If she couldn't find someone to drive him, he missed school. After so many unexcused absences, the attendance officer visited them and my friend was told that if he had any more unexcused absences, the officer was going to file a petition with the juvenile court.

They did not live within walking distance of the school, which is one of the reasons why he kept missing the bus. His school started at 9:10 but he had to catch the bus at 7:20.

[Anonymous]

Make her go to bed earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.

+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.

No you are very wrong. I actually decided to stay at home, retire early when DD was in middle/ high school. I made sure she was up and at school every morning even though it was a PITA to get her out of bed. I made sure teachers followed her IEP. Her first year of college she failed everything because she can not get herself up. There is no alarm that will wake her up. She basically trained herself to ignore the alarms.

+1 This is a life skill that teens need to learn.