10th grade DD Missing the bus because of going back to sleep - How would YOU handle?

[Anonymous]

I was that teen.

Move her alarm clock across the room where she has to get up and move to turn it off. (If she gets accustomed to it there so she can do it half asleep, you may have to move it again.)

Consider getting her a light clock that brightens gradually to put beside her bed, in addition to the (hopefully annoying) one across the room.

Is it possible to get her to bed earlier? If she’s staying up late for homework, it may not be an option, but if she’s just watching TV, chatting with friends, etc., it would be a good time to tell her that clearly she needs more sleep, so her bedtime will be 1/2 hour earlier for a week.

How did she eventually get to school? If she took a taxi/uber, then she needs to pay for it. If you or DH had to come pick her up, she at least should spring for a Starbucks or something similar as your taxi fee.

I agree with PP that I’d skip ironing. If it’s some kind of school uniform requirement, then she should do it the night/weekend before. You also need to convince her that catching the bus is her priority, not her beauty regimen. She may need to stick her hairbrush in her backpack and go stinky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, she's lost the privilege of hitting snooze and getting herself up. She now has to be woken up fully, removed from bed, and in the shower before you leave. It sucks that she's going to miss 30 minutes of sleep (or whatever), but that's the consequence for missing school.

This. She puts her final alarm clock across the room.

As someone who has always been a night sweating mess, I sympathize with her. She needs to do everything besides shower, skincare, dressing the night before. This is not working.

Also, I have a kid who sleeps through many alarms and is a champion snoozer. We got him a bed shaking alarm to help wake him up. The link is coming through as a whole paragraph, so search "loud bed shaking alarm" on amazon. It has a little disk that goes under your pillow and vibrates in addition to the alarm.

You need a consequence for failing to get up by some set time. In our house, kid has to be out of bed by 6:55 and and downstairs by 7:05 or he loses his phone for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, she's lost the privilege of hitting snooze and getting herself up. She now has to be woken up fully, removed from bed, and in the shower before you leave. It sucks that she's going to miss 30 minutes of sleep (or whatever), but that's the consequence for missing school.

+1

[Anonymous]

What time do you two leave for work?

What time does the bus come?

What time does school start?

Whatever you decide, she has to go to school. Since she’s not responsible enough to bus at this point, I’d probably have one parent leave as late as possible, then I’d get her up when that parent does and drive her and deposit her at the front door of the school.

It sucks for you guys that she can’t do it herself, but that’s parenting. My oldest would have had trouble at 15 too.

[Anonymous]

Make her call you so you can hear her turn on the shower by a certain time. That way she's out of bed and vertical, which is the hardest part.

[Anonymous]

Does she have allergies or congestion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s still a kid. Stay home with her to see her to the bus.

+1. Negligent parenting. Let the kids raise themselves, then complain how they're failing at raising themselves.

This. One parent needs to be home until she leaves for school, period.

[Anonymous]

Does she have sleep apnea or ADHD? My son has both, and high school wake-up times negatively impacted his health. Senior year, he didn't have first period, which helped a little bit. In college, it's easier because he doesn't need to travel - he can just walk to a 9am class, which is perfectly fine. But a 6am high school wake-up time was deleterious for his health. High school was a terrible time for him. I believe it's bad for the health of most teens, who have modified circadian rhythms to begin with. But with his untreatable sleep apnea and ADHD-related insomnia, it was just really, really hard.

You have to intervene on the morning routine. Get her cotton bedding, no polyester, it will cut down on the sweating. Get her a medical check-up and change the deodorant. Shower the night before, it will help her sleep better. No one irons their clothes anymore, OP. If there are too many wrinkles, maybe the family isn't doing laundry correctly. School is casual anyway, even for those with uniforms.

And if there's ADHD, get her meds to regulate her brain.

[Anonymous]

Google sleep inertia. There are alarms you can get to help-you have to do a puzzle or even scan your toothpaste to get it to stop and then do something again in 10 min to prove your really awake or it starts over. The one I’m familiar with is called alarmy.

[Anonymous]

What if there was a fire?

[Anonymous]

I agree that the logical consequence here is that she has to be up, showered and dressed before you leave. If she does it for a month without whining, she can try again at getting herself up.

[Anonymous]

What happens when she misses the bus?

[Anonymous]

Nice to hear am not the only one experiencing this problem. Currently, there is a consequence if DS misses the bus. Walk or ride bike. Even the days WFH, that consequence still stands. DS says there is possible detention for maxing out being tardy first period. So he hopes that motivates him to get up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nice to hear am not the only one experiencing this problem. Currently, there is a consequence if DS misses the bus. Walk or ride bike. Even the days WFH, that consequence still stands. DS says there is possible detention for maxing out being tardy first period. So he hopes that motivates him to get up.

Forgot to mention DS has an deaf alarm clock.... he actually sleeps through it. I think will get a large bed vibrator to shake the bed harder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School start times are too early for this age group, which really needs more sleep in the morning. It sucks, but there is a lot of good advice on this thread including how to implement an earlier bedtime and how OP needs to fully wake up DD before leaving for work.

I agree more sleep is needed. It would be perfect world if school starts at 9 am. Getting to bed "early" is impossible. After school activities and school work sometimes leave DS up very late.