No RSVP = No Goodie Bag

[Anonymous]

Is it really a big deal to make a few extra? Why is this even an issue????

[Anonymous]

To the OP of the "Invitations as Weapons" thread:

I owe you an apology. I was skeptical that such a thing really happened. All the families we meet are always so nice. I thought you probably misinterpreted benign behavior and made it personal. But I see you're right. The OP of this thread must live in your neighborhood!

I was clearly naive.

[Anonymous]

Petty. I have actually run out to the store during my kids' party to buy extra goody bag stuff for random guests who showed up.

[Anonymous]

Giving goodie bags to those who don't Rsvp but show up anyway (or not at all) reinforces bad behavior (the parents) and teaches bad manners to children (who will follow the rude and self centered attitude of their parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is mean spirited. Why not just eliminate goodie bags, or just have a few spares on hand. People who don't RSVP don't do it intentionally.

What world do you live in? By seeing "RSVP" on an invitation and NOT responding, they are doing it intentionally! You get the invitation. Discuss and decide if you are going. RSVP. It isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have always made extra bags. I see no value in making a kid feel bad because of no RSVP. There have been times where a parent thinks they RSVP by email and I did not get it. Mistakes happen. Hope you never make a mistake.

BTW- I also pay for movies for kids invited at the last minute or when a group of boys decides they want to go to lunch. Better to make all feel included and welcome then leave people out. I like to encourage social gatherings that are safe and supervised.

Not all of us are Mrs. Moneybags....

[Anonymous]

For those of you so willing to punish a child for the parent not RSVP'.

A few years ago my DS had a party. A child showed up whose parent had not RSVP. When the parent came for the pickup she apologized and said that it had been very hard in their house because she and her husband were going through a divorce.

She also said how much the child was looking forward to the party as it had been very hard on the child.

Imagine how this child would have felt if I had to decided to take it out on him. He was already in a bad state.

Just remember, there can be reasons you don't realize when you decide to be nasty. The parent could have done it intentionally, been lazy or truly be in a situation where even the simplest things can be hard to do. You just never know what is going on in people's home life and what a simple act of kindness and forgiveness can do for someone.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I would not want to penalize a child for a parent's failure to RSVP.

[Anonymous]

11:41

I am willing to bet your are the same person who complains when their child isn't included in a party. You don't have to be rich to be inclusive. Just understanding. Does a slice of pizza really set you back that much?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this thread.

I always make more goodie bags to cover all the kids, in case they don't RSVP and still show up. It's not the kids' fault and I would not want them to feel left out. That said, I'm not going to chase down the kid/family who didn't rsvp and/or who didn't come and give them a goodie bag.

This whole issue could be negated if people would learn to freakin' RSVP. Seriously. It just is not that hard to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:41

I am willing to bet your are the same person who complains when their child isn't included in a party. You don't have to be rich to be inclusive. Just understanding. Does a slice of pizza really set you back that much?

Because it isn't always just a slice of pizza! What about the birthday parties where you have to pay per head? Suddenly you have all these extra kids show up (and siblings too) and you didn't plan for it! Maybe you aren't putting complete crap from the dollar store in the goody bags, but still don't feel like potentially having 10 extra bags lying around. FWIW, I actually think you shouldn't punish the kids because their parents are @ssholes that think they're too important to RSVP. The parents are probably the parents that show up late for events and cause a disruption, because in their world, their time is FAR more important than the time of those around them.

[Anonymous]

Folks,
If folks don't RSVP follow up and get a response for them. Yes people are rude but when I host that's what I do. I've had to follow up multiple times in other parent capacities, room parent, soccer team manager -- even grownup parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about putting NICE things in goody bags. There's no law that says they have to be filled with cheap plastic toys and hard candy. I gave out caramel apples in a bag with a helium filled balloon tied to it for DDs October birthday.

oh - I love this idea! I bet the kids really liked it.

They did, and so did the parents

[Anonymous]

I have to say, if someone RSVPd NO then I would not prepare a goody bag for that child. If someone did not RSVP I would try to contact them before the party and if I could not get an answer I would probably make one just in case they did show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have always made extra bags. I see no value in making a kid feel bad because of no RSVP. There have been times where a parent thinks they RSVP by email and I did not get it. Mistakes happen. Hope you never make a mistake.

BTW- I also pay for movies for kids invited at the last minute or when a group of boys decides they want to go to lunch. Better to make all feel included and welcome then leave people out. I like to encourage social gatherings that are safe and supervised.

Not all of us are Mrs. Moneybags....

No, we aren't all Mrs. Moneybags -- that's why the frugal among us keep our receipts and if we end up with too much goody-bag stuff, we return it to the store!!