No RSVP = No Goodie Bag

[Anonymous]

I always have extra goody bags on hand. If the last-minute RSVPs don't take them, guest's younger siblings will.

[Anonymous]

OMG yes it also punishes the mom but it punishes the child, first and foremost. If this is not a joke, I think you are one twisted hostess, OP. Do you want this reputation in your child's community, of being a vindicate passive aggressive nutcase? We live in an era where folks are rude about RSVPs. Deal, sister!

[Anonymous]

The rationale here apparently is that you will respond to (most likely) absentminded rudeness on the part of parents with intentional rudeness that will be felt by children. If you're comfortable with that, go for it. I wouldn't be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I invited 15 kids to my daughter's party. 7 said yes, 5 said no, the other 3 said nothing. Everyone showed up and with extra kids. I didn't have enough goodies for everyone and I didn't feel bad about it either.

Good for you. Goodie bags are one of the most useless things ever to be invented (for lack of a better word). Worthless junk 99.99 percent of time and waste of money for parent. Stop giving them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make the stupid goody bags and if they don't show up give them to your kid or your kids best friend/bf's siblings. And why do we have to do these stupid goody bags anyway. My goodness, can't we just have regular kid parties where cake and ice cream was enough? I know you all remember. Like when the really cool kids patents set up the "make your own" sundea bar...why can't we just do that. What do you put in a goody bag anyway?

I'm 29, and growing up, all the parties I went to had goody bags.

Same here and I'm 31. Never been to a birthday party where there were no goody bags. As for the people that didn't RSVP, that's just plain rude. Even if you forgot to RSVP, why can't you call the day of the party and apologize but tell the host that you were coming?? It's common courtesy. I wouldn't necessarily have extra goody bags either. I've had one b-day party for my DD and I did give out goody bags. I put each child's name on the bags because they were boy/girl specific. That could be something you do if you don't want to make extra bags. That way it is clear that the kids not getting one are the kids that didn't tell you they were coming. The parents SHOULD feel bad. Not only are they inconsiderate of the party throwers, but they are also teaching their kids to be inconsiderate.

Unless of course, you were not provided with contact info - which has happened to me before. . .

[Anonymous]

I made bags for the children who I knew were attending the party. I didn't have the money to make a bunch of extras for people who didn't rsvp (or for siblings that were not invited to the party but showed up). I would make an extra if I knew a sibling was coming (mom couldn't get a sitter or whatever).

[Anonymous]

How about giving the kids whose parents didn't RSVP the goody bags with twice the number of crappy toys and candy? The kid still gets his goody bag and the parent gets punished by getting twice the amount of crap.

But, I'm all in favor of ditching the goody bag. I'm 40 and no one ever got a goody bag when I was growing up. Maybe it's a generational thing or socio-economic issue. I grew up in a farming community in the rust belt. No one would wasn't money on goody bags when the kids were getting cake and ice cream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made bags for the children who I knew were attending the party. I didn't have the money to make a bunch of extras for people who didn't rsvp (or for siblings that were not invited to the party but showed up). I would make an extra if I knew a sibling was coming (mom couldn't get a sitter or whatever).

But where would you have gotten the money for the non-responders if they had replied "yes"? That doesn't make sense that you can't afford non-responders (although they could easily have been yes replies and you would have had to afford them) but could do a spare sibling.

[Anonymous]

The very idea that a goody bag could be withheld as punishment makes me shake my head. I hope my kids never openly expect a goody bag at someone's party. The only time a kid should expect a present is his birthday and Christmas. I'm OK with that. Anything else is disappointing.

[Anonymous]

I just open my eyes wide with a surprised face and say very loud "wow I'm so glad you decided to come! we didn't hear from you so I was wondering if we should
count you for the goodie bags.. you know the kids love it [wink]"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rationale here apparently is that you will respond to (most likely) absentminded rudeness on the part of parents with intentional rudeness that will be felt by children. If you're comfortable with that, go for it. I wouldn't be.

"Absentmindness" rudeness? The invitation had a "RSVP" next time invitation should read, "RSVP and PDQ."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just open my eyes wide with a surprised face and say very loud "wow I'm so glad you decided to come! we didn't hear from you so I was wondering if we should
count you for the goodie bags.. you know the kids love it [wink]"

Why is it so necessary to be all passive aggressive about the situation? What's wrong with saying "OK, but next time please RSVP. I might be short on food". If someone is rude enough to not RSVP AND show, they should be able to hear that simple truth told directly to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I made bags for the children who I knew were attending the party. I didn't have the money to make a bunch of extras for people who didn't rsvp (or for siblings that were not invited to the party but showed up). I would make an extra if I knew a sibling was coming (mom couldn't get a sitter or whatever).


But where would you have gotten the money for the non-responders if they had replied "yes"? That doesn't make sense that you can't afford non-responders (although they could easily have been yes replies and you would have had to afford them) but could do a spare sibling.


If people RSVP'd I would have spent the money to make up bags. What I couldn't do was waste money buying extra stuff that wouldn't be used. why would I buy stuff for people not coming?

[Anonymous]

I remember that my mom always made extra goodie bags when I was a kid, "Just in case." I vividly remember the following:
1) The kids were so excited that there was something for them, too, even if it didn't have their name on it.
2) The moms were usually pretty thrilled too.
3) My mom felt really good she could do something nice for someone else that was, in the grand scheme of things, pretty easy.

I plan on doing the same.

[Anonymous]

You really are putting way too much worry into something very, very small.