Why people have fallen out of love with dating apps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men have been emasculated. More and more men are afraid of approaching women.
You add to this that being LGBTQ is cooler than it has ever been. The result is less dating. The dating apps are paying that price.

Its not that men are being emasculated, Its that the cost of the BS isn't worth the effort or benefits.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 and married last year. Most of my friends in their 30s are single. They are very successful, good looking, in great shape some are tall but they haven't had much luck when it comes to relationship.

Thus is strange to me because when I read this forum there are a lot of women in their 30s who desperately want a relationship. Maybe women have very high standards. If that's the case good for them no need to lower their standards. They should keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Dating apps rely on paid subscriptions from men to survive. If they are failing, or their numbers are down it's because men have learned that dating apps can really suck.

For example, Bumble chose to market their app as one where women make the first move. Sounds good in theory, to women. You don't get 100s of messages from men. You get to choose who you talk to. But then Bumble learned what us men all know. Women on dating sites are lazy AF and horrible at making the first move or even writing a complete sentence if they do.

Women may complain about all the messages they get but, especially from really crude men but they still won't put in the work to look around and actually find a guy who looks interesting and write to him. They'd rather sort through the messages.

So Bumble had to add "features" to their site where men-who paid-could "send a compliment." In other words, make the first move. It's still not working for them and Bumble is actually one of the better dating sites.

The site is much better to navigate than most of the others which all seem to be run by the same parent company on code written decades ago. Bumble does a good job of eliminating scammers where sites like POF or Tinder seem to rely on the users to weed them out.

That said, for most men, dating sites can really be a waste of time. I can write a nice message to ten different women and when I look at it a week later, maybe 7 messages have not even been read and less than 1 in 20 messages will get an actual response. So no, I'm not paying for that.

I do much better getting out and socializing and meeting people in person and through friends the old fashioned way.

I'm sure dating sites are great for women. I've talked to a lot of women from dating sites and they will all say they got 100s of messages the first week of joining so yeah, I get why my message goes unread or unanswered. They don't even need to bother paying for the features that come with a paid subscription. Why bother with that kind of response?

Again, it's men who pay for dating sites and the old days are gone. Dating sites were much better a few decades ago but they have not changed enough with the times.

[Anonymous]

Imagine your single male friend says, hey come on out. We can go check out this cool bar I heard of and see if we can meet some single women. So you go and once you get in there, the place is jammed.

Great band playing, lots of energy. A quick look around for the single women reveals the place is like 300 dudes and about 20 women and those women are surrounded by guys trying to chat them up, buy them drinks, impress them.

That's what dating apps are like for men. Men the apps rely on for their profits. It's a real sausage fest.

Don't get me wrong, I've gone on probably 30 first dates from the apps in the last few years and I met my late wife on a dating site way back in the day. That was before apps and the sites were different. They have not improved since then.

Back then, you could narrow down your searches by preferences a lot more but now the sites are so PC you have to wade through way too much and the women on the sites seem to be the leftovers. In short, the sites are just really bad now and I've been on several of the most popular sites. Same people on all of them.

Only difference in the sites is the actual user experience in navigating them which leaves a lot to be desired. I can't recommend a single one over the other.

I will say my one friend sings the praises of E-Harmony if you wan to go that route and really pay a premium. He says it's worth it. Take that for what it's worth. I'm done paying for dating apps.

[Anonymous]

What site would be helpful to meet dates? Female, 47, tall thin/blonde/blue eyes, have a career. Would I even find someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What site would be helpful to meet dates? Female, 47, tall thin/blonde/blue eyes, have a career. Would I even find someone?

You will do very well on Hinge, Bumble or Match. Maybe try The League, which isn't that popular so you might not get many hits, but the people on it tend to be professionals. Elite Singles has lots of fake profiles but a there are a few good ones mixed in. Tinder also has lots of people on it but most of them are looking for something more casual. Coffee Meets Bagel is good if you prefer small doses of profiles but don't want to give up completely.

The hard part will be going through all of the hits you'll get. It can feel like a waste of time if you spend hours having superficial conversations and your dates don't amount to anything for a while. Also, when you like someone, you'll have some competition. That's stressful and you need to be resilient when you have disappointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the point about LGBTQ. You mean people used to date the opposite sex so nobody would know they're gay?

Yes, and most of these apps are not LGBTQ friendly.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men have been emasculated. More and more men are afraid of approaching women.
You add to this that being LGBTQ is cooler than it has ever been. The result is less dating. The dating apps are paying that price.
[/quote]

Its not that men are being emasculated, Its that the cost of the BS isn't worth the effort or benefits.[/quote]

+1.

[Anonymous]

Unless you plan to be a SAHM, there are no benefits to datimg a man if you’re a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 and married last year. Most of my friends in their 30s are single. They are very successful, good looking, in great shape some are tall but they haven't had much luck when it comes to relationship.

Thus is strange to me because when I read this forum there are a lot of women in their 30s who desperately want a relationship. Maybe women have very high standards. If that's the case good for them no need to lower their standards. They should keep looking.

Every woman deserves a top 10% guy. Woman regret it when they lower their standards and marry a guy who will, inevitably, disappoint them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you plan to be a SAHM, there are no benefits to datimg a man if you’re a woman.

Yep, just have a kid on your own. It's much easier, and better for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you plan to be a SAHM, there are no benefits to datimg a man if you’re a woman.

Yep, just have a kid on your own. It's much easier, and better for the kid.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I met on eHarmony over a decade ago, but I tried multiple sites. The experience was usually not great. The problem you’re not starting with a random distribution of people. The guys who were 9s and 10s often weren’t on the site. They generally locked down gorgeous women in college. So you’re starting with guys who range from 1 to 8 with a tiny fraction of 9s/10s thrown in. Then, the above-average men find their partners and leave, increasing the percentage of below-average men in the population.

I’m sure the exact same phenomenon is true for women.

I had to go on many, many bad dates to find my husband over a series of years. No idea of eHarmony is still around, but I know it refused to match some of my acquaintances. I also never met a felon on eHarmony, which I can’t say for other sites. If it hadn’t changed, I would recommend eHarmony to the committed single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating apps rely on paid subscriptions from men to survive. If they are failing, or their numbers are down it's because men have learned that dating apps can really suck.

For example, Bumble chose to market their app as one where women make the first move. Sounds good in theory, to women. You don't get 100s of messages from men. You get to choose who you talk to. But then Bumble learned what us men all know. Women on dating sites are lazy AF and horrible at making the first move or even writing a complete sentence if they do.

Women may complain about all the messages they get but, especially from really crude men but they still won't put in the work to look around and actually find a guy who looks interesting and write to him. They'd rather sort through the messages.

So Bumble had to add "features" to their site where men-who paid-could "send a compliment." In other words, make the first move. It's still not working for them and Bumble is actually one of the better dating sites.

The site is much better to navigate than most of the others which all seem to be run by the same parent company on code written decades ago. Bumble does a good job of eliminating scammers where sites like POF or Tinder seem to rely on the users to weed them out.

That said, for most men, dating sites can really be a waste of time. I can write a nice message to ten different women and when I look at it a week later, maybe 7 messages have not even been read and less than 1 in 20 messages will get an actual response. So no, I'm not paying for that.

I do much better getting out and socializing and meeting people in person and through friends the old fashioned way.

I'm sure dating sites are great for women. I've talked to a lot of women from dating sites and they will all say they got 100s of messages the first week of joining so yeah, I get why my message goes unread or unanswered. They don't even need to bother paying for the features that come with a paid subscription. Why bother with that kind of response?

Again, it's men who pay for dating sites and the old days are gone. Dating sites were much better a few decades ago but they have not changed enough with the times.

Maybe if men bothered to read profiles and not send identical generic messages to multiple women it would help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you plan to be a SAHM, there are no benefits to datimg a man if you’re a woman.

Yep, just have a kid on your own. It's much easier, and better for the kid.

100% this.

Agreed! Studies show that fathers are detrimental to kids' development. This is especially true for boys. A father is invariably a toxic presence in a boy's life.