discretion with scandalous situation

[Anonymous]

I don't know what you should do OP. If this person really was front page news, you obviously can't play dumb like you don't know who it is, because then you really will seem dumb.

Can you avoid this coworker??

[Anonymous]

OP: I am going to buck the tide here.

I would tell the co-worker that I understand that they love and are concerned about their relative, but maybe they haven't realized how much they mention this person at work. I would go on to say that it is normal to talk about people in your life/family, but given recent events, it is making me uncomfortable. It's up to you, but maybe you were not aware of how often you keep mentioning so and so. I appreciate all you have done for me since I am new, but I just don't know how to respond to you when you talk about him.

Then you can see what happens.

People under a lot of stress don't realize what they are saying half the the time. If this person is not your boss, I would try this approach. You need to work with them - not be their confidant. if nothing else, they will start to be more discreet.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. Thanks for all of the input. I know I wasn't going to say yes or no anymore but I did get a real chuckle out of the Robert Wone roommate post. Ha! The person I am talking about WAS found guilty, I didn't mean to imply otherwise. This was definitely front page news, and MY COWORKER was in the news because of it. I think probably 75% of people might not even recognize the names of Robert Wone's roomies and I'd say close to 100% would not recognize the names of their immediate family. This is the kind of situation where my coworker herself was in the news constantly just because the situation was so big. Think Ruth Madoff. That was a very good comparison.

In any event, thank you for all of the advice, I appreciate it and will use it!

[Anonymous]

Jeff Skilling?

[Anonymous]

You have to be posting from DC, not NY, so I doubt it's a Madoff. Are you working with Levi Johnston's Mother? He was found guilty of child support... Martha Stewarts relatives? Jack Abramoff? David Vitter?

[Anonymous]

Marion Barry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to be posting from DC, not NY, so I doubt it's a Madoff. Are you working with Levi Johnston's Mother? He was found guilty of child support... Martha Stewarts relatives? Jack Abramoff? David Vitter?

OP's not going to tell us....
That said, when I think of a "heinous" crime, I don't think of financial crimes or failure to pay child support.

[Anonymous]

Are you working with Scooter Libby's daughter?

[Anonymous]

Madoff definitely was heinous. He drained non-profits, civic groups, and educational institutions.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything. Simply ignore the awkwardness as you would if a co-worker annoyingly regularly talked about her divorce, horrible parents or any other topic that could be awkward. She'll stop soon enough or she won't, bu that's not your job to take care of. And if you notice this, others who have worked with her a long time do as well and are more well placed to say something. Why set yourself up to be misinterpreted (and perhaps alienated) by someone you barely know? You are new and have no idea of her placement within the office (who values her opinion, whether her connections are particularly useful to the employer, whether she's crazy and coul make our life difficult, etc.) so I'd just stay out of it, hard as that may be.

[Anonymous]

I would assume "heinous crime" means violent crime, am I alone in this?

[Anonymous]

Tom Capano?

[Anonymous]

who's that?

[Anonymous]

Tom Capano killed his mistress who happened to work for the governor of Delaware, who is now in Congress. The whole thing was Delaware, and years and years ago. The only reason I remember it is because I read a book about it.

I'm going to guess that it's someone related to Robert Hanssen, the spy. I know they live around here still.

[aprilmayjune]

Seriously? Why is everyone still trying to find out who this is? Out of respect for OP can't we all just accept her problem and the fact that she doesn't want to share more than she already has??? I think this is rude and insensitive.