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discretion with scandalous situation
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Anonymous
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This is kind of a weird question, and I feel uncomfortable even posting about it but I really don't know what is appropriate. I recently started a new job with someone whose immediate family member was involved in a major, major heinous crime and was prosecuted as such for it. We're talking a household name.. the whole debacle was very sordid and public. All of you would know who this person is (and no, there's no way in hell I'm going to say). The coworker mentions this person - pretty regularly, actually - in all kinds of normal day to day stories and acts like everything is fine. At first I thought, if I was in that position I would NEVER, ever, ever mention the person and try to keep as quiet as possible so people didn't connect me to the situation, but then I guess you never really know what you'd do if you were in that situation until you're in it... anyway, my real question here is: do I act oblivious to who this individual's family member is? Pretend I don't know? Or is that even more awkward because of course I know and everyone knows that everyone else knows??
I don't know why this situation is making me so uneasy but it really is. I just don't know the right way to act! |
Anonymous
| Are you sure it is the same person and not just a person with the same name? |
Anonymous
| 100% positive. My coworker is all over the internet (w/pictures, etc) just b/c of her relationship to this person. The whole thing was VERY public. |
Anonymous
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ATTENTION DCUM:
Let's not answer OP until she tells us who she's talking about! 
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Anonymous
| I wish you could tell. Is it Madoff? I think there's nothing you could do. The person obviously knows that everyone knows and choses to pretend everything is peachy. |
aprilmayjune
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| IMHO.. I wouldn't pretend that I didn't know who they were talking about.. But, at the same time, I wouldn't be mean or judgemental about it either.. As for the people trying to find out who it is.. it's really none of our business... my curiousity makes me want to ask, but I also know that it's not any of my business.. Hopefully over time this will get easier for everyone around.. It also might clear the air and make everyone a little more comfortable if someone casually brings it up in some sort of conversation also.. Your coworker is probably self conscious about her family member, and would probably feel good to know that she's not being judged because of what he/she did.. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for the advice. That makes a lot of sense.
No, it is not Madoff, but that is actually a really good comparison. It might as well be. And that's all I'm going to say about that, seriously. |
Anonymous
| OJ? |
Anonymous
You've got to tell us who it is. At least give us hints or describe them if you don't want the name to show up in Google or something. My answer entirely depends on who it is and what they did. 
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Anonymous
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Tiger?
Mel Gibson? |
Anonymous
Neither was prosecuted (I think). |
Anonymous
| The lobbyist guy- Jack Abramoff? |
aprilmayjune
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| Seriously? Why does who or what the crime was determine your response?? She's not talking about the actual criminal was, just a family member who was just dealt a bad family hand, and probably had absolutely nothing to do with the crime(s) committed.. |
Anonymous
Is he working in a pizza parlor? 
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Anonymous
| So it was a financial crime and not a murder? |