Working parent vent. I hate when old friends ask me out for mid week plans. Not fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I’m having weekday drinks or dinner, it’s typically professional or work related

I can totally understand why you don’t want to go. Hating being invited is on you. They are asking you out based on their availability. Ask them out based on yours. Tell them, “I want to hang out but will have limited availability on weekdays for the next five years. Can we do weekends?” They are showing love by trying to hang out with you. They will adjust if they can. If they can’t you all will catch back up when life changes for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite. I wish more people would be willing to do things during the week so weekends could be family time.

+1

Also my spouse and I have an easier time trading off weeknight parenting duties so the other one can do something because it doesn't feel like the person staying home is really "missing out" on anything. Like my DH went out to watch football last Thursday night and I had a nice night putting our DD to bed and then reading a book and going to bed early -- totally fine Thursday night. But if that was my Saturday I'd be kind of bummed. DH feels the same way.

But few of my parent friends are like this. I think in some cases it's due to having young kids who maybe don't go to bed easily or just being tired in general. Which I get. But the upshot is that I don't see them almost at all without kids because on the weekends most of us do things with our families so get-togethers will be all families. Which can be fun but is not the same as grabbing a drink with a friend 1:1 at a neighborhood bar. I really miss doing stuff like that with my friends but it's so rare now and even sometimes when these plans get made they fall through a lot.

[Anonymous]

I am a stay at home mom and I hate when my working friends, who have childcare already in place because a lot of the times they have work events, asked me to do stuff on weeknights. Or on weekends for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home mom and I hate when my working friends, who have childcare already in place because a lot of the times they have work events, asked me to do stuff on weeknights. Or on weekends for that matter.

So you hate it when people ask you to socialize [checks note] anytime? Got it.

[Anonymous]

Hate is a strong word. Is that really what you meant?

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and don’t get to go out socially w/o kids as much anymore feel very fortunate that my friends who are still working (parents or not) still try to include me in plans even if I can’t make it. I try when I can and know that this is a season in life. I have found that a weeknight babysitter is often easier to find than weekends, so I will go to 8pm drinks on a Thursday when I can make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM parent and can’t make weeknight drinks work! I’m driving kids to activities all a afternoon and evening.

Sucks to be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We actually prefer to do drinks or dinner with a friend at 8pm (or later) once the kids are in bed. We can actually make that work.

All our friends without kids want to do dinner at 630pm! No bueno.

Do you go to work the next day?

Yes, but I’m not an alcoholic. I can handle 1-2 drinks on a weeknight with some food and still be up by 630am to begin the morning routine.

The alcoholics will drink you under the table and be at work the next day like nothing happened. The rare drinker is going to have a raging hangover after 2 drinks on a weeknight.

So have one drink. I'm there for my friends, not the alcohol.

I'd go out often on weeknights and realize it's not going to work all the time for everyone but it's worth a slightly later night to get the emotional boost from seeing my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will honestly go out any time of day or week I am invited if at all possible. Got up early to have coffee with my friend before work last week.

This is me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can make time for professional drinks why can’t you make time for personal drinks?

This.
I don’t get it…unless OP is complaining that these conflict so she can’t say yes to personal invites during the week due to needing to be available for client/professional invites during the week.

If that’s the case, I get the fomo, but most people want to do family stuff on the weekend so it’s nice to squeeze in a “catch up” with friends mid-week.

[Anonymous]

Just say no, but don’t complain when the invites stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will honestly go out any time of day or week I am invited if at all possible. Got up early to have coffee with my friend before work last week.

This is me too.

Same. I work full time and have 2 elem age kids and am happy to get together with friends on weeknights or weekends if I'm available. I have a supportive spouse who is perfectly capable of managing the kids.

[Anonymous]

Im another one that prefers weeknights because we have two teens under driving age and our weekends are mostly filled with sports or running them around to activities. And Friday and Saturday night I’m pretty fried. It’s easy to get together with Neighbors on those nights, but in terms of meeting friends in the city or something, I would much rather do that during the week.

Being honest about this stuff really helps. State your preferences! If weekend nights work better say so. Or if weekend brunches work better.

[Anonymous]

I work and much prefer weeknights - much easier to have our after school nanny stay for a few extra hours than to find a babysitter on the weekends and kids care a whole lot less too when its a week night

point being different things work for different people and this is not a WOHM/SAHM divide at all