Can we say no to MIL bringing her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you are being unreasonable to not allow a man that neither you nor your children have ever met to stay in your home for an extended period. I wouldn't allow that either. And I say this as someone who loved her grandmother's boyfriend as a grandfather but I knew him for a decade.

You may find yourself without childcare or with a pissed off MIL but I would rather cancel my trip than have her come with the boyfriend. Just be prepared for that scenario.

I told Dh I would rather not go on the trip than have this man stay at our house. I originally was thinking of safety for my children.

Now that I think deeper, I don’t think this man is in a good financial situation. He hangs out at my MIL’s paid off house, eats her food and they drive their car around. I don’t think his car is functioning. We have many valuables in our house. I just don’t want to worry about this when we are away.

He may not be a thief, but he sounds like a Grade A Mooch. The fact that he hasn’t put the brakes on this plan himself (coming to stay not knowing you or your children at all) means he’s likely happy to come along for the ride. So your jewelry may not be stolen, but all your best wine will be gone.

[Anonymous]

Op, let us know ow how it works out. I'm invested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty AF.

She's not an immature teenager. She raised your whole ass husband.

Np. I wouldn't trust a strange man around my kids.

[Anonymous]

I rather bring my kids and have them sleep on the pull out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d honestly be questioning my MILs judgement at this point for even asking. I’d try to arrange for different care at this point.

This. It is never a good idea to let males unrelated by blood around your children especially in situations where they can be alone with your children.

An uncle of mine by marriage was caught on his lunch break seeking out a minor. If he had opportunity he would have taken it out on family.

You got to watch the “blood” relatives too. Don’t be naive.

[Anonymous]

It's a hard no. You have never even met this guy. Plus, the kids will probably feel very uncomfortable. It's just not a safe situation.

[Anonymous]

Really depends. My MIL’s boyfriend is 88 and I wouldn’t have a problem with it lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty AF.

She's not an immature teenager. She raised your whole ass husband.

I agree. I hope she stops helping you.

[Anonymous]

Your ask is reasonable but it’s also ok if she declines given your response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you are being unreasonable to not allow a man that neither you nor your children have ever met to stay in your home for an extended period. I wouldn't allow that either. And I say this as someone who loved her grandmother's boyfriend as a grandfather but I knew him for a decade.

You may find yourself without childcare or with a pissed off MIL but I would rather cancel my trip than have her come with the boyfriend. Just be prepared for that scenario.

I told Dh I would rather not go on the trip than have this man stay at our house. I originally was thinking of safety for my children.

Now that I think deeper, I don’t think this man is in a good financial situation. He hangs out at my MIL’s paid off house, eats her food and they drive their car around. I don’t think his car is functioning. We have many valuables in our house. I just don’t want to worry about this when we are away.

Could you be any more judgmental and snobby? Ugh!

[Anonymous]

No, I wouldn’t do it. And I’d make other arrangements now, because even if she says she’ll watch them without him, there’s an excellent chance he’ll be there most of the time too. He just won’t sleep over. So she’ll deny he was staying there. But in reality almost surely he will be.

[Anonymous]

Echoing most everyone else in saying no. I would also question MIL’s judgment in even asking - what kind of parent lets a strange old man spend the night with their kids?? Did she honesty think you’d agree?

I say this as someone who lets, encourages, and begs my step dad to babysit! He has shared a bed with my kids even! But he and my mom have known eachother since they were kids and they had been married for years before I met my husband. He is amazing and so great with kids, but no way would I have let him spend the night with my kids when I first met him. But by the time my kids came around, he’s been in my family for a decade so I had no concerns.

Maybe your MIL’s boyfriend is fantastic, but you don’t know him yet and from the sound of him, he’s a mooch and a loser, so obviously you can’t trust him yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t want any strangers in my home without me there. Just because you have met him a few times (?) doesn’t mean you know him. In addition to the access to the children, I have financial docs in my home that aren’t anyone’s business.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Petty AF.

She's not an immature teenager. She raised your whole ass husband.

I agree. I hope she stops helping you.

You both sound immature.

[Anonymous]

No way. I wouldn't let any persons bf who my family has never met come sleep over at my house without a parent there. It’s also weird to ask and weird that he’s interested in doing this.