Travel sports parents are some cold-blooded a--holes

[Anonymous]

Loyalty can mean program growth and elevated play and an overall positive team environment. However, if there is a problem with the club, people should be free to leave. There is a difference between typical club turnover and implosion. Implosion indicates there is a problem with the club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So many assumptions, geez. That's ok, I kept it deliberately vague. But for those assumptions, and the nasty comments directed to me, I do in fact thank you.

It reminds me why my OP is 100% correct. And I was 1000% oblivious about the type of folks on our team. Seems to be the norm. Oh well. Live and learn and we are almost done with youth sports, thank goodness.

Have at the flames.

Are you talking about a field hockey club? If so, even people not at the club know the issues.

[Anonymous]

This must differ by sport. In baseball, everyone knows there are teams you try to get into for D1 others for D3 and then many teams where you are just playing but almost nobody gets a college commitment.

Maybe there is this drama up until like 13, but nobody expects teams to stick together at 14+. Also, everyone is fine being open because they know a D1 caliber is going to try to play for Richmond Braves platinum or Canes National or some equivalent while others aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are just mad that your kid was not invited….

Travel sports parents are the same as any others- always remember they will do their best for their own kid, and no one has loyalty to anyone.

I learned from watching parents and situations with DC#1, and it has been easier with my two younger:

-be friendly to all, confide in NONE
-don’t talk with other parents about the sport at all (seriously) unless it about general logistics or vaguely complementary “the girls played great today” etc
-focus on general pleasantries instead “how did the kitchen renovation turn out?” “Is Susie’s ankle feeling better?” etc
-never say anything negative about any player, coach or parent
-never ever tell anyone your future plans - moving teams etc
-never burn bridges even if it is a horrible team or coach “thanks so much for the opportunity, had so much fun” etc
-be QUIET at games other than general vague cheering
-and: FFS- do not get drunk at games or tournaments. That includes at dinners or the hotel if hanging with other families or coaches. Sad that this must be said.

Do those things and you will have no issues.

This seems like pretty good advice. I have a 10 year old who is pretty good at an individual sport and I've been surprised and sometimes appalled by his parents treat their own kids and talk about other people's kids. Makes me never want to exchange anything more than superficial pleasantries with these people, which is a shame because I see them so often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So many assumptions, geez. That's ok, I kept it deliberately vague. But for those assumptions, and the nasty comments directed to me, I do in fact thank you.

It reminds me why my OP is 100% correct. And I was 1000% oblivious about the type of folks on our team. Seems to be the norm. Oh well. Live and learn and we are almost done with youth sports, thank goodness.

Have at the flames.

If you kept it deliberately vague, why are you surprised that some don't get the full picture? I am personally surprised that you are surprised that players change teams. At any point. For any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are just mad that your kid was not invited….

Travel sports parents are the same as any others- always remember they will do their best for their own kid, and no one has loyalty to anyone.

I learned from watching parents and situations with DC#1, and it has been easier with my two younger:

-be friendly to all, confide in NONE
-don’t talk with other parents about the sport at all (seriously) unless it about general logistics or vaguely complementary “the girls played great today” etc
-focus on general pleasantries instead “how did the kitchen renovation turn out?” “Is Susie’s ankle feeling better?” etc
-never say anything negative about any player, coach or parent
-never ever tell anyone your future plans - moving teams etc
-never burn bridges even if it is a horrible team or coach “thanks so much for the opportunity, had so much fun” etc
-be QUIET at games other than general vague cheering
-and: FFS- do not get drunk at games or tournaments. That includes at dinners or the hotel if hanging with other families or coaches. Sad that this must be said.

Do those things and you will have no issues.

This seems like pretty good advice. I have a 10 year old who is pretty good at an individual sport and I've been surprised and sometimes appalled by his parents treat their own kids and talk about other people's kids. Makes me never want to exchange anything more than superficial pleasantries with these people, which is a shame because I see them so often.

Wut sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always felt so bad for travel sport parents…it usually amounts to nothing.

Yep. Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve always felt so bad for travel sport parents…it usually amounts to nothing.

Yep. Same.

Oy. Yes, there can be drama as OP has illustrated. Yes, it usually requires a lot of time and money. BUT—Our DCs love their sports and it’s what we enjoy doing as a family. I grew up playing competitive sports and while I did not play beyond HS, I can absolutely say it helped shape me (in a positive way) into who I am today. I am so tired of parents coming on threads about travel sports bashing those of us who choose that experience for our family. Please stop.

As for the drama, I have no patience for that so we’ve always looked for teams that seem more our speed in that regard. We’ve been lucky over the years and have largely avoided it. That said, in order to do that we’ve deliberately made choices that have meant we didn’t always go with “the best” team from a competition or record standpoint. Our goal is to have meaningful, challenging, and fun experiences playing team sports so we do our best not to loose sight of that. We have in the past switched teams and encouraged a couple of other like minded families to come with us. There wasn’t a lot of scheming but it was clear that a few of us were of a different mindset than the rest of the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are just mad that your kid was not invited….

Travel sports parents are the same as any others- always remember they will do their best for their own kid, and no one has loyalty to anyone.

I learned from watching parents and situations with DC#1, and it has been easier with my two younger:

-be friendly to all, confide in NONE
-don’t talk with other parents about the sport at all (seriously) unless it about general logistics or vaguely complementary “the girls played great today” etc
-focus on general pleasantries instead “how did the kitchen renovation turn out?” “Is Susie’s ankle feeling better?” etc
-never say anything negative about any player, coach or parent
-never ever tell anyone your future plans - moving teams etc
-never burn bridges even if it is a horrible team or coach “thanks so much for the opportunity, had so much fun” etc
-be QUIET at games other than general vague cheering
-and: FFS- do not get drunk at games or tournaments. That includes at dinners or the hotel if hanging with other families or coaches. Sad that this must be said.

Do those things and you will have no issues.

This seems like pretty good advice. I have a 10 year old who is pretty good at an individual sport and I've been surprised and sometimes appalled by his parents treat their own kids and talk about other people's kids. Makes me never want to exchange anything more than superficial pleasantries with these people, which is a shame because I see them so often.

Wut sport?

Ping Pong

[Anonymous]

I was a 10-year participant in the Youth-Industrial-Sports-Complex (YISC). My athlete is now about to start his junior year in college, so its behind me now. He played at the highest level available locally for his sport (ice hockey).
On the whole, the experience was massively positive, both for him and for us as a family. He learned a ton about teamwork, leadership, advocacy, and (generally) had a very good time doing it.

The one piece of it I really hated was the tendency of people to start talking about (and planning for) "next season" as soon as January rolled around, even though 35-40% of the current season remained.

There was turnover almost every year. Sometimes it was just a few guys, sometimes it was much, much more. Plenty of kids left our team for what they thought were greener pastures, which generally meant a better opportunity to advance to play high level junior hockey and/or play in college. For some of those kids, that meant going to our team's one local rival, for others that meant heading to more distant locales for prep schools or "hockey academies" in places like Boston or Pittsburgh. Kids starting doing this at age 13, though it really picked up as they hit 15, 16, and 17. Three years after the end of my kid's youth "career" some of the kids who left have really bloomed and are playing NCAA D1 or D3 hockey (or are committed to teams, which is a much shakier place to be). Some are still grinding away in junior hockey (one kid is playing in northern Alberta!), and some are playing ACHA-level (club-level) college hockey, and some have completely quit playing.

My kid stayed "loyal" to his club through his departure for college, and that helped him develop some (positive) relationships that I think are going to be with him for a long time. And it used to annoy me when people left for what seemed to me to me no good reason. But I knew then, and I can appreciate it more now, that decisions were being made in what was thought to be the best interests of their kids. Whether they were right is a different question, but I think that generally people we acting in good faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And then they get to college and discover an athletic scholarship means $1,000 in books.

BWAAHAHAHAA tell me know nothing about womens athletic scholarships without telling me......

My kid has an 80% all inclusive ride to a D1 ACC school. And all the clothes, early class choices, early rooming choice, free non-cafe food, a stipend and NIL money she is using for grad school.

Will the food still be good after your kid washes out in 1-2 years and is going to grad school in 4-5 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And then they get to college and discover an athletic scholarship means $1,000 in books.

My DS got $40k/yr. I'm ok with that.

Translation:

"My son attends an obscure, SLAC that has an obscene sticker price of $60k but offers $35K in 'consideration' to some athletes that couldn't get real deals with D1 schools. They, also, offer this deal to literally anyone that takes the acceptance offer.

And, then, they graduate in 5 years with a Sports Management or Business degree and wonder why they can't get a job."

But they could hit a ball with a bat, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must differ by sport. In baseball, everyone knows there are teams you try to get into for D1 others for D3 and then many teams where you are just playing but almost nobody gets a college commitment.

Maybe there is this drama up until like 13, but nobody expects teams to stick together at 14+. Also, everyone is fine being open because they know a D1 caliber is going to try to play for Richmond Braves platinum or Canes National or some equivalent while others aren’t.

Actually… no, not “everyone” knows that. There are lots of us *normal* parents out here who aren’t hyper-competitive, and we’re not all constantly researching and jostling for the biggest leg up for our kids. Some of us put our kid on a travel team when they’re young because we like the vibe, and then we keep them on that travel team because the kids are all friends now. Even if our kid is really talented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This must differ by sport. In baseball, everyone knows there are teams you try to get into for D1 others for D3 and then many teams where you are just playing but almost nobody gets a college commitment.

Maybe there is this drama up until like 13, but nobody expects teams to stick together at 14+. Also, everyone is fine being open because they know a D1 caliber is going to try to play for Richmond Braves platinum or Canes National or some equivalent while others aren’t.

Actually… no, not “everyone” knows that. There are lots of us *normal* parents out here who aren’t hyper-competitive, and we’re not all constantly researching and jostling for the biggest leg up for our kids. Some of us put our kid on a travel team when they’re young because we like the vibe, and then we keep them on that travel team because the kids are all friends now. Even if our kid is really talented.

That’s complete BS. Sorry, but especially with changes to baseball roster sizes and the relationships your travel coach needs to have with D1 coaches…you aren’t leaving your kid on the Primetime B team or the MVP C team just because you are all friends.

Your kid may not want the drama and pressure of D1 baseball…that’s absolutely true…but a different animal.

Heck, many D1 programs will take a rising JR HS commit and tell them they now have to play for the TBT Phillies or the Five Star National because those are the teams where they want their committed kids playing together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And then they get to college and discover an athletic scholarship means $1,000 in books.

My DS got $40k/yr. I'm ok with that.

Translation:

"My son attends an obscure, SLAC that has an obscene sticker price of $60k but offers $35K in 'consideration' to some athletes that couldn't get real deals with D1 schools. They, also, offer this deal to literally anyone that takes the acceptance offer.

And, then, they graduate in 5 years with a Sports Management or Business degree and wonder why they can't get a job."

But they could hit a ball with a bat, huh?

😂