Should I volunteer at my child's school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids that are nice, polite, respect, kind and smart get preferential treatment. I want kids like that in my class. I want to see them thrive. Not kids of parents who are jerks. Being a good kid goes a long way. Volunteer for the right reasons.

Are you a an elementary teacher? In my children's elementary school there is no rhyme or reason to who makes it to the "favorites" list and who doesn't. A mean kid here, a nice kid there, a smart kid here, a dumb kid there. I haven't seen that parents volunteering or not makes any difference. There seems to be a lot more luck and randomness involved, or maybe teachers and admin favor students who are similar to themselves (which explains why there always seem to be a handful mean and dumb kids making it to favorites...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids that are nice, polite, respect, kind and smart get preferential treatment. I want kids like that in my class. I want to see them thrive. Not kids of parents who are jerks. Being a good kid goes a long way. Volunteer for the right reasons.

Are you a an elementary teacher? In my children's elementary school there is no rhyme or reason to who makes it to the "favorites" list and who doesn't. A mean kid here, a nice kid there, a smart kid here, a dumb kid there. I haven't seen that parents volunteering or not makes any difference. There seems to be a lot more luck and randomness involved, or maybe teachers and admin favor students who are similar to themselves (which explains why there always seem to be a handful mean and dumb kids making it to favorites...)

How do you know which kids are favorites?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of preferential treatment are you looking for from an elementary school?

+1 I'm planning to volunteer so I can get to know teachers/admins/staff and have a line of communication if my kid needs help or correction. I think it's pretty bizarre to volunteer so your kid gets better snacks or fewer consequences for bad behavior or whatever OP is imagining.

This is the preferential treatment I was assuming OP was asking about. I think it's bizarre that you are volunteering for preferential treatment, and then judging OP because you imagine she is doing something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids that are nice, polite, respect, kind and smart get preferential treatment. I want kids like that in my class. I want to see them thrive. Not kids of parents who are jerks. Being a good kid goes a long way. Volunteer for the right reasons.

Are you a an elementary teacher? In my children's elementary school there is no rhyme or reason to who makes it to the "favorites" list and who doesn't. A mean kid here, a nice kid there, a smart kid here, a dumb kid there. I haven't seen that parents volunteering or not makes any difference. There seems to be a lot more luck and randomness involved, or maybe teachers and admin favor students who are similar to themselves (which explains why there always seem to be a handful mean and dumb kids making it to favorites...)

How do you know which kids are favorites?

They get picked for stuff, or when everyone in the class has to write about, say, a place or a historical figure chosen from a list, somehow certain kids always get the plum topics. I can cite more. What can I say, I'm a petty scorekeeper but I own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of preferential treatment are you looking for from an elementary school?

+1 I'm planning to volunteer so I can get to know teachers/admins/staff and have a line of communication if my kid needs help or correction. I think it's pretty bizarre to volunteer so your kid gets better snacks or fewer consequences for bad behavior or whatever OP is imagining.

This is the preferential treatment I was assuming OP was asking about. I think it's bizarre that you are volunteering for preferential treatment, and then judging OP because you imagine she is doing something different.

NP- It's not bizarre to volunteer with ulterior motives. It's the most normal thing in the world. More power to OP if it actually helps her child at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of preferential treatment are you looking for from an elementary school?

+1 I'm planning to volunteer so I can get to know teachers/admins/staff and have a line of communication if my kid needs help or correction. I think it's pretty bizarre to volunteer so your kid gets better snacks or fewer consequences for bad behavior or whatever OP is imagining.

This is the preferential treatment I was assuming OP was asking about. I think it's bizarre that you are volunteering for preferential treatment, and then judging OP because you imagine she is doing something different.

NP- It's not bizarre to volunteer with ulterior motives. It's the most normal thing in the world. More power to OP if it actually helps her child at school.

I said I think it's bizarre for the PP to admit they volunteer with ulterior motives and then in the same sentence judge OP for admitting they are thinking about volunteering for ulterior motive. I only used the word bizarre because its the word the PP used when she judged OP.

[Anonymous]

I volunteered when my oldest was in kindergarten. I very unwisely got roped into the PTA. It was a lot of unnecessary make-work and didn't seem to actually benefit the kids. Then COVID happened.

I don't think we receive preferential treatment, but I don't think that the kids of those who do volunteer do either.

Basically, my kids didn't care if I did it, and I really didn't like most of the PTA moms so I stopped.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m guessing you’re an attorney? You sound very… transactional

[Anonymous]

The grade level teachers do the class placement for the following year. So I just suck up to/help out the teacher each year, and usually I get the teacher I want for the following year. Rinse/repeat. I don’t volunteer at any of the PTO/Whole school stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The grade level teachers do the class placement for the following year. So I just suck up to/help out the teacher each year, and usually I get the teacher I want for the following year. Rinse/repeat. I don’t volunteer at any of the PTO/Whole school stuff.

Such policies vary by school. At every school my children have attended, teachers certainly have some input, but admin decide who gets put in each class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids that are nice, polite, respect, kind and smart get preferential treatment. I want kids like that in my class. I want to see them thrive. Not kids of parents who are jerks. Being a good kid goes a long way. Volunteer for the right reasons.

Are you a an elementary teacher? In my children's elementary school there is no rhyme or reason to who makes it to the "favorites" list and who doesn't. A mean kid here, a nice kid there, a smart kid here, a dumb kid there. I haven't seen that parents volunteering or not makes any difference. There seems to be a lot more luck and randomness involved, or maybe teachers and admin favor students who are similar to themselves (which explains why there always seem to be a handful mean and dumb kids making it to favorites...)

How do you know which kids are favorites?

They get picked for stuff, or when everyone in the class has to write about, say, a place or a historical figure chosen from a list, somehow certain kids always get the plum topics. I can cite more. What can I say, I'm a petty scorekeeper but I own it.

How do you even know this though? This is a great reason why I think parents shouldn’t be volunteering IN the classroom at all. They (mostly) just want to be busibodies and police what the teacher is doing/not doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The grade level teachers do the class placement for the following year. So I just suck up to/help out the teacher each year, and usually I get the teacher I want for the following year. Rinse/repeat. I don’t volunteer at any of the PTO/Whole school stuff.

Such policies vary by school. At every school my children have attended, teachers certainly have some input, but admin decide who gets put in each class.

It’s a lot more random that you think. She there is some thought about male/female ratio and SN. But past that, they are just sticking kids on a list. I promise they are not sitting around thinking whose mom volunteers the most and who’s friends with whom and trying to out them in class together.