Husband makes jokes at my expense in front of the kids

[Anonymous]

No plate for him, no serving of food prepared. Repeat “I didn’t cook for you, I didn’t want to make you sick.” Do this for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example, he has no problem with what I cook and has said many times I am great cook, but out of nowhere will say the food is bad and he’s going to get a stomachache (“uh oh, I better get a barf bag “) or say the kids may get sick from something I make. He says this in front of them often and thinks it’s hysterical. I’ve stopped laughing and recently said it sounds like he should take over making meals because he keeps making these “jokes,” so obviously he has an issue with the food I make.

He did not like that answer and said I’ve gotten very “uptight.” Um, after spending an hour cooking for him and my kids because he did not want take out, I don’t need him saying the food is bad and trying to get them into making fun of the food, too. It kinda feels humiliating after a while, even like he’s messing with my head.

When I’ve given him a taste of his own medicine, making fun of something he did or made, wow, does he get defensive and snide. He does not take it as a joke, at all. I think the behavior is doing damage to our relationship and he’s not getting it. He’s free to a jerk and turn things around and say haha can’t take a joke, but the treatment only goes one way. Anyone else deal with this? Did things just get worse?

Instead of playing tit for tat, talk to him in clear words that its hurtful for you and damaging for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Is this new? Honestly a personality shift like that could be related to cheating. He’s used to cracking “jokes” about how awful you are to his ap and it’s bleeding into home life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually looked this up because my husband does this to me and I see I’m not alone. Another thing is If I make a joke about myself he takes it to the next level and does this dumb laugh to get the kids to laugh. I think that stupid laugh is a way for him not to look stupid if no one laughs. They used to laugh, his they’re 15 and 20 and don’t find it funny. One day my younger son told him to stop. Now they view it as abusing their mother. I could say a lot of embarrassing things about him too that are actually true but I don’t. Both my kids and myself are so tired of him and all his shitty ways. Not a bad guy but not a great one either. Every time one of us watch a show he doesn’t want to watch he makes a bunch of judgmental comments about people’s looks. When my son tells him to stop his response is always this is my house and I’ll say and do what I want. He has no consideration for anyone else.

Genuine question - why are you still with him?

Maybe I'm soft or naive but just reading your story (especially about how your kids feel) made me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't live in the same house as someone like that.

Do you think he started off slowly and you've become somewhat inured to it? Because to me, as someone whose parents never yelled or called each other names and someone who has never been yelled at or called names by any boyfriends or my husband, I just can't imagine putting up with that. I'm 45, by the way, so I'm not young (I don't think).