My 84 year old dad wants to buy a new car - discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd get a car with a lot of extra safety features.

That's a good idea. Now they have cars that come with drivers. You rent them for individual trips. There are even smart phone apps that make it easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father is 82 and just bought a new car. Then he drove it about 2000 miles on a road trip. The man freaking loves to drive. If something happens to him while driving, well, he died doing what he loved.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in the other cars.

This. I want to die peacefully and not have murdered or maimed and innocent person because I was too stubborn or unaware to make sure I was still safe out on the road. I'd like my legacy to be that I was loving, empathetic and thoughtful and a good citizen. I will get driving tests past a certain age or live in continued care in a walk-able area. Not going the entitlement and denial route so help me G*d.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Dad lives alone (divorced), he’s 100% mentally there and has some balance issues but otherwise healthy. Is pretty active - cooks, goes to the gym, etc. His current car just went kaput so he needs a new set of wheels.

Part of me feels like this makes no sense at all and he should lease, part of me thinks “good for him!”, and still another parr of me thinks, “it doesn’t really matter what I think - it’s his life and his money.”

But still - 84 + new car? What would others do here? Say something? Keep out of it?

FWIW Dad and I have a very good relationship.

If he's safe to drive and he can afford it, I would tell him to go for it. At least it will require very little maintenance.

[Anonymous]

At 85 my MIL bought a BMW SUV. She still drives it, infrequently, at 95. It looks brand new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow it but make a plan. For example, have him identify whose car it will be once he cannot drive. Make sure he’s understanding he may only drive the car a short time. Then let him. As you say, it’s his money

“Allow” it?

+100. The hubris.

Once parents are in their 80s, their kids should take an active role in evaluating whether they are still fit to drive - this is not hubris, it is compassionate and responsible. In this case, “allow” means, don’t interfere at this time, since OP did not mention issues with his overall fitness for driving. If that word is triggering in this context it is probably reflecting a fear of being in a situation where your adult kids can take away your independence, and that’s a natural thing to fear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow it but make a plan. For example, have him identify whose car it will be once he cannot drive. Make sure he’s understanding he may only drive the car a short time. Then let him. As you say, it’s his money

“Allow” it?

+100. The hubris.

Once parents are in their 80s, their kids should take an active role in evaluating whether they are still fit to drive - this is not hubris, it is compassionate and responsible. In this case, “allow” means, don’t interfere at this time, since OP did not mention issues with his overall fitness for driving. If that word is triggering in this context it is probably reflecting a fear of being in a situation where your adult kids can take away your independence, and that’s a natural thing to fear!

70s, not 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 85 my MIL bought a BMW SUV. She still drives it, infrequently, at 95. It looks brand new.

When she kills someone, the blood will be on your hands.

[Anonymous]

This may be a good thing, OP. New cars have the latest and greatest in safety features - my mom is 79 and just bought a new small SUV with all the bells and whistles. It beeps at every little thing and makes sure she is fully aware of her surroundings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 85 my MIL bought a BMW SUV. She still drives it, infrequently, at 95. It looks brand new.

When she kills someone, the blood will be on your hands.

Wow. You know absolutely nothing about this lady.

[Anonymous]

A new car means no worries. It will run. It needs very little maintenance. If he has the money, yes.

We've had used cars our whole life. The practical choice. The sound financial choice. It is so reassuring and comforting, at an older age, to have a new car. So much less worry

[Anonymous]

13:33 again. He will likely drive it very little. Make sure that's detailed, mileage per year, for the insurance quote. Maybe someone else on the title, so when he no longer drives the car, enough, someone can take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an aside, can people not be allowed to drive when they reach a certain age? Maybe 80 or 85. Maybe 90. Whatever is reasonable. For the safety of us all.

There needs to be a law requiring driving tests at a certain age based on research. I know far too many cases of those over 75 causing anywhere from disability to death in innocent victims because they were too selfish to make sure they were safe to driver.

Please share your research on this and include comparisons to other age groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 85 my MIL bought a BMW SUV. She still drives it, infrequently, at 95. It looks brand new.

When she kills someone, the blood will be on your hands.

Wow. You know absolutely nothing about this lady.

She's 95. At this point it's just a race to determine who will die first- the MIL or the kids that live near where she drives. The PP knows that, but is choosing to do nothing. That makes her morally culpable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be a good thing, OP. New cars have the latest and greatest in safety features - my mom is 79 and just bought a new small SUV with all the bells and whistles. It beeps at every little thing and makes sure she is fully aware of her surroundings.

The sensors beep for other cars, but not for the kids she's going to mow down.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see the problem. If he wants a new car and can afford it, he should get one.