Wow! This is some really dysfunctional family here. |
Calm down. These people love and just want to celebrate their granddaughter. Op is just being difficult for no apparent reason. Does she not like her daughter enough to want people to acknowledge her birthday more than once? |
This is a bizarre take on loving parenting, they forced you to sit in front of the big birthday cake and take a picture?! Most people would call themselves lucky! Your parents created a birthday tradition, celebrating you by planning a party, ordering a cake from the same bakery each year. It's often described as consistency and most humans thrive in this environment. So odd how you twist this extremely normal celebration into something evil and selfish on the parents part. |
I’ve never heard of family birthdays until I met my husband. It was only friends birthday parties. I have 67 first cousins. Would have been impossible for either sides grandparents.
So odd to me that ppl do this. |
Huh. We live in same town as one set, about an hour away from another one, and previously lived a short distance from third set. Kids parties were always just for kids ( does grandma really want to come to the bowling alley or rock gym?) and sometimes if we did a dinner our grandparents would come but certainly not always. No “family parties” at all. Everyone seemed fine with this. We don’t make that kind of massive deal about birthdays. |
Sad that your family ignores your kids on their birthdays and you encourage it. |
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You are missing the point. OP’s kid picked a trip to NYC and has or had things planned with both set of grandparents. One of the sets wants an additional birthday party because their visit did not count because it was 4 days before the actual birthday. This has nothing to do with the birthday girl and all about difficult parents. I already posted that we no longer have extended birthday parties with grandparents, their choice, because my teens aren’t excited for cake etc anymore and aren’t fun little kids. They STILL call and have issues with our celebration if we don’t have a traditional cake. It’s apparently not a birthday without a traditional cake and “happy birthday” written on it. It doesn’t matter if the birthday kid picked a different dessert, which they frequently do, because they don’t really like cake. I ignore all of that behavior. I found out in recent years that ice cream cake doesn’t even count. The boomer generation is really amazing with their demands. |
They celebrated her a week before her birthday. DD chose the party she wanted, grandparents shouldn't override what the birthday girl wants. You think it's more important that we cater to the grandparents rather than the one celebrating the birthday? No one is being difficult, mom is following what DD wants. |
This X1000. The boomers really want a celebration for them, the kid is a pretext and they do not care what the kid wants. It’s always about what they want and shouldn’t the kid’s mother just do a little more to placate to them? Always, always just do more for the boomers. It’s exhausting! |
Just let them come and do a dinner/cake. What's the big deal? |
Because they aren't local and OP will have to host them while they are getting their party (because lets be clear, it's not for DD). |
It doesn’t have to be a party. But Op never brought it up at the in-laws to head it off at the pass. Not very smart. |
This sounds like a you problem with all the projection. |
Well, it wasn’t a big party with 20 relatives. I was 12-16 years old with them buying a cake I didn’t even like and my dad standing there taking photo after photo. I had to eventually beg them to stop buying the cake. It was like a scene out of a sitcom. |