If your daughter (aged 20 something )is in a relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs X. Even thought I’ve told them multiple times to call me by my first name they just can’t. They’re trying and sometimes will but usually it’s Mrs so and so.

+1.

+1. Everyone is an adult in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Wow. Insecure much?

[Anonymous]

first name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs X. Even thought I’ve told them multiple times to call me by my first name they just can’t. They’re trying and sometimes will but usually it’s Mrs so and so.

+1.

Yep. This. It’s offensive to be called mrs. I don’t mind Ms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

This
This
This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

This
This
This

PP, and yes I’m Black too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

It’s cultural, not a vibe, . Don’t presume to tell people why they do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

Interesting. I recently met a new neighbor. We live in a small condo building, where all people are cordial to each other. I introduced myself by first name. She introduced herself as Miss (last name). I thought that was VERY odd.

Why would I call a neighbor I see everyday , who is a lot younger than me, “Miss”?

I am white, she is black. I would only (maybe) do that at a work setting. But even then not with someone I would be working with often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Interesting, in our section of Realityville, people use Mr or Mrs X until it’s a serious relationship. Moving in together, engaged, etc.

This is so weird to me. Upon their moving in, do you say “David, you may now call me Perdita” with a gracious nod of the head and wave of the hand? You’re not the freaking Dowager Duchess. And he’s slipping it to her no matter what he calls you.

You say it like sex is something dirty and expecting basic courtesy from a child's significant other is presumptuous.

You are not her equal socially. This is not a civil rights march. It is a matter of etiquette.

If my MiL had insisted on being called Mrs. K, I would have insisted her addressing me as “Ms. P.” Since apparently that’s basic courtesy, it extends both ways, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Interesting, in our section of Realityville, people use Mr or Mrs X until it’s a serious relationship. Moving in together, engaged, etc.

This is so weird to me. Upon their moving in, do you say “David, you may now call me Perdita” with a gracious nod of the head and wave of the hand? You’re not the freaking Dowager Duchess. And he’s slipping it to her no matter what he calls you.

You say it like sex is something dirty and expecting basic courtesy from a child's significant other is presumptuous.

If my MiL had insisted on being called Mrs. K, I would have insisted her addressing me as “Ms. P.” Since apparently that’s basic courtesy, it extends both ways, no?

So..... when you get married, you want Mrs. K to also call you Mrs. K? That's so weird.

I'm replacing her, so, yes.

You sound very insecure and hostile. You were not competing with your MIL and won.

A spouse does not replace a parent. In a healthy marriage, those two relationships should be very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

It’s cultural, not a vibe, . Don’t presume to tell people why they do things.

And don’t presume that other people are familiar with the etiquette in your culture. If I say Hi I’m Sally and you say I’m Mrs Larla you’ve just set a vibe a tone. And if I see other people interacting with you and they are calling you Mrs Larla and you never say something like Please call me Cathy, you are reinforcing that vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

It’s cultural, not a vibe, . Don’t presume to tell people why they do things.

And don’t presume that other people are familiar with the etiquette in your culture. If I say Hi I’m Sally and you say I’m Mrs Larla you’ve just set a vibe a tone. And if I see other people interacting with you and they are calling you Mrs Larla and you never say something like Please call me Cathy, you are reinforcing that vibe.

It is an interesting example of how people might offend each other, by being totally unaware of their cultural differences (so they dislike the individual).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Interesting, in our section of Realityville, people use Mr or Mrs X until it’s a serious relationship. Moving in together, engaged, etc.

np Ugh. No. I hate being called MRS. X. My whole individuality just gets erased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Interesting, in our section of Realityville, people use Mr or Mrs X until it’s a serious relationship. Moving in together, engaged, etc.

np Ugh. No. I hate being called MRS. X. My whole individuality just gets erased.

? Are you regretful you didn't keep your last name or something?