If your daughter (aged 20 something )is in a relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This Mrs. ___ stuff is bizarre to me. So 20th century. I would be offended to be called "Mrs" by anyone -- it is "Ms" if you are going to use my last name. But it is 2024, so let's use first names please.

Different circles and cultures don't do what you do. My kids went to catholic school K-12 and are country club type kids and would never use a first name unless directed by the person, maybe. Mr. and Mrs. for our neighbors, parents of their friends, really any social (not work) situations.

[Anonymous]

Insisting someone “respect you” through the use of a title is very middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insisting someone “respect you” through the use of a title is very middle class.

Here we go with the class sh** again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Maybe it's cultural then bc I'm around your age and first name basis with everyone, my inlaws, neighbors, etc.
Or maybe you give off a vibe that you want to be Ms/Mrs Larla

No, trust me. lol I do not give off those vibes. I remember the first time another adult referred to me as Ms. In my head I was like nooooooooo; am I really old enough to be called Ms. Larla. I was sad about it. hahaha

[Anonymous]

Are rules different for sons and daughters?

[Anonymous]

They are adults they call me by my first name.

[Anonymous]

Gen X and it is Mrs X for now.

[Anonymous]

We are from New York. We deal in first names. We're not standing on ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Who cares which words are used, as long as they are good people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Also Black, same for me.

[Anonymous]

Using peoples first names most sense to establish expectation that its a relationship of equals, not a child-parent relationship. Just because someone is with your child, doesn't meant they aren't entitled to a mutually respectful relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be obnoxious and presumptuous to expect to be called anything other than first name. Are you planning on calling them Ms./Mr. Last Name? If not, get over yourself.

It does of course vary by culture, but if anyone under the age of 85 in the DMV who spoke fluent English expected this, then that at least modest evidence that they are an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this only for daughters? I have sons and their girlfriends call me Ms. Larla. I always did the same when I was dating. Nobody ever requested it, I’m Black and I think it’s just what we do in the black community for our elders. Hell, I’m 54 and I call my 75 year old neighbor Ms. Larla. A few months ago a young couple moved in the neighborhood, probably mid-20s and they call me Ms. Larla.

Also Black, same for me.

Yup. I’m Ms. Firstname to DS’ friends and girlfriend. His girlfriend also calls me ma’am (she’s southern) and I am torn between thinking it is so nice and polite and being horrified that I’m like…older folks now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where I live, in Realityville, most people call each other by their first names.

Interesting, in our section of Realityville, people use Mr or Mrs X until it’s a serious relationship. Moving in together, engaged, etc.

Does it count as Realityville if you have to time travel or at least teleport into a Jane Austen novel to get there?