Teenage boys—age for crushes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s around puberty. I agree that the boys do not really talk about their crushes. The most I’ve heard is them talking about another guy getting rejected in an embossing way which is like top news for the MS group. The girls talk about this stuff and strategize around it. The boys don’t really.

Mine had his first girlfriend in 8th grade and now has a pretty serious girlfriend in 9th.

Ugh #boymom

DP - and a girl's mom. girls talk about boys 99% of the time. maybe 90% if they have very intense interests. boys don't talk about girls so much. it's just a fact.

As a parent to both teen boy and girls, you are completely ridiculous and sexist with this comment. And that is why so many daughters despise their mother in laws.

Be a better parent.

boys and girls are different. so are men and women and males and females in millions of species. please accept basic biology boys mom, girls mom or whatever mom you are.

It's biology you are talking about. The behavior PP is talking about is psychology. And no girls are not always talking about boys.

psychology is rooted in biology. middle girls want to pair up, are obsessing about boys and pursuing them. middle school boys might be interested in sex, looking at porn, making dirty jokes but they are much less interested in pairing up despite having various crushes. they don't spend that much time thinking about their crushes, much less talking to their friends or adults about it. although boys moms do not necessarily know everything about their boys they are correct in their perception that their boys' focus is not on the girls yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s around puberty. I agree that the boys do not really talk about their crushes. The most I’ve heard is them talking about another guy getting rejected in an embossing way which is like top news for the MS group. The girls talk about this stuff and strategize around it. The boys don’t really.

Mine had his first girlfriend in 8th grade and now has a pretty serious girlfriend in 9th.

Ugh #boymom

DP - and a girl's mom. girls talk about boys 99% of the time. maybe 90% if they have very intense interests. boys don't talk about girls so much. it's just a fact.

As a parent to both teen boy and girls, you are completely ridiculous and sexist with this comment. And that is why so many daughters despise their mother in laws.

Be a better parent.

boys and girls are different. so are men and women and males and females in millions of species. please accept basic biology boys mom, girls mom or whatever mom you are.

It's biology you are talking about. The behavior PP is talking about is psychology. And no girls are not always talking about boys.

psychology is rooted in biology. middle girls want to pair up, are obsessing about boys and pursuing them. middle school boys might be interested in sex, looking at porn, making dirty jokes but they are much less interested in pairing up despite having various crushes. they don't spend that much time thinking about their crushes, much less talking to their friends or adults about it. although boys moms do not necessarily know everything about their boys they are correct in their perception that their boys' focus is not on the girls yet.

This must have sounded impressive in your head
and you clearly haven't been to a middle school lately if you think it's all on the girls.

[Anonymous]

Our DS became very moony about a certain girl starting in 2nd grade and followed her around like a puppy for the rest of ES. His chromebook search history shows he googles her father still.

He's in 6th grade now and would never, ever tell us he was interested in a girl though. Maybe he's carrying on a torrid affair, we wouldn't know. Well, we would, because he's lousy at keeping anything a secret, but he wouldn't tell us.

He's also in the phase where his eyes widen like saucers when a young woman wearing something racy walks by, but I think that's just puberty.

I think 8th grade is fine for serious crushes to begin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s around puberty. I agree that the boys do not really talk about their crushes. The most I’ve heard is them talking about another guy getting rejected in an embossing way which is like top news for the MS group. The girls talk about this stuff and strategize around it. The boys don’t really.

Mine had his first girlfriend in 8th grade and now has a pretty serious girlfriend in 9th.

Ugh #boymom

DP - and a girl's mom. girls talk about boys 99% of the time. maybe 90% if they have very intense interests. boys don't talk about girls so much. it's just a fact.

Cite your sources please.

Looking for this large group long term study that was done that proves teen girls with intense outside interests talk about boys 90% of their time and girls with non-intense outside interests talk about boys 99% of their time.

Also, can we have the exact percentages of boys talking about girls then too and based on their outside interests? You know, instead of saying “not so much.”

I think it would make it so scientific and really believable.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son was so shy he was visibly shaken if a girl from school said "hi" to him in Starbucks when he was 12/13. By the end of 9th grade he had a girlfriend and he had another later in HS (both lasted about a year). He dated in college and has been with his current GF for about 2 years (both in grad school).

The idea that all boys are filthy porn addicts and/or future sexual assault perpetrators is really getting tired. If either of my kids watched porn as a teen, it was definitely DD.

+1000 so true. Someone on this board hates boys and I'm sorry that they feel that way, but my DS is awesome and they would beg him to date their DD.

This can’t be real LOL

This thread is so embarrassing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s around puberty. I agree that the boys do not really talk about their crushes. The most I’ve heard is them talking about another guy getting rejected in an embossing way which is like top news for the MS group. The girls talk about this stuff and strategize around it. The boys don’t really.

Mine had his first girlfriend in 8th grade and now has a pretty serious girlfriend in 9th.

Ugh #boymom

DP - and a girl's mom. girls talk about boys 99% of the time. maybe 90% if they have very intense interests. boys don't talk about girls so much. it's just a fact.

Cite your sources please.

Looking for this large group long term study that was done that proves teen girls with intense outside interests talk about boys 90% of their time and girls with non-intense outside interests talk about boys 99% of their time.

Also, can we have the exact percentages of boys talking about girls then too and based on their outside interests? You know, instead of saying “not so much.”

I think it would make it so scientific and really believable.

Thanks!

you sound like a grad student that got invited to review a paper because real experts wouldn't bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most middle school boys have crushes but they are not obsessive about it like girls are. They don’t call each other to talk about “signs” all day long. It’s just a girl they have a crush on and typically dont plan to do anything about. Meanwhile, girls obsess waiting for them to make a move.

Lol this is so true esp about "signs"

[Anonymous]

I think boys don’t really talk about anything too deep with each other. They also don’t have long in depth conversations picking apart their guy friendships like girls do. Girls just talk a lot about a lot including crushes but also gossip and school drama. When they get together, they mostly do an activity so sitting there talking about their crushes doesn’t happen. Most teen boys I know have a friend who is a girl that they discuss that with bc the bros will make fun of that kinda talk.

So in short, boys can be as equally obsessed just not as outwardly as girls.

[Anonymous]

The comment about getting together for an activity is talking about boys - I wasn’t super clear sorry

[Anonymous]

DS 13 does not talk about girls (with us!) and I doubt if he and his friends spend a lot of time on the subject BUT I do know he has had crushes. Just don't think he's interested or prepared to act on those crushes. He hasn't really started puberty. DD, by comparison, at that age was obsessed with boys. Could not stop talking about who is cute and who so and so has a crush on and whether it would be weird if XYZ etc. It was almost shocking how interested she was because that had not been my personal experience. She ended up at an all girls school (her choice!) and although she's still very social, I think not having boys as a distraction in the classroom for her was a big plus. Bottom line--boys and girls go through this at different stages and to varying degrees. Don't expect them to talk to you about any of it!

And yes, a lot of boys in middle grades are looking at porn (this is not a new thing). What's new is that it's so so so much readily available and on their phones and it's video and it's so much more graphic. DH and friends talk about escapades stealing Playboys which are crazy tame in comparison to what boys are looking at today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most middle school boys have crushes but they are not obsessive about it like girls are. They don’t call each other to talk about “signs” all day long. It’s just a girl they have a crush on and typically dont plan to do anything about. Meanwhile, girls obsess waiting for them to make a move.

+1

[Anonymous]

WELL, I was going to say my 12 year old does not. But in the car yesterday he revealed that there is a girl he likes. It was pretty adorable. He told me that he thinks she likes him because she talks to him more than any girl ever and she asked for his email but even though they both know they like each other they haven't told each other yet.

I told him that was one of the hard parts when you are an adult too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WELL, I was going to say my 12 year old does not. But in the car yesterday he revealed that there is a girl he likes. It was pretty adorable. He told me that he thinks she likes him because she talks to him more than any girl ever and she asked for his email but even though they both know they like each other they haven't told each other yet.

I told him that was one of the hard parts when you are an adult too

Awe! That is very sweet

[Anonymous]

You parents thinking your boys are not interested and those terrible girls are the ones that are the problem? Clueless. Absolutely clueless

Middle school teacher

[Anonymous]

As a mom of a 14 year old boy, check the phone of your boys and girls. It’s eye opening. Their interactions are all over the map but yes there is a lot of inappropriate language and pushing boundaries.

It also amazes me how many parents completely ignore what’s going on online.