Would you let your daughter change her name?

[Anonymous]

A big chunk of my family is from the south, where many, many people use their middle names.

Often you will know someone for a long time without ever knowing what their legal first name is.

I think it's great that she likes her middle name and is happy to go by it. I think that's a win. I would absolutely let her do it. Don't worry about some people used to calling her something else. Everyone will adjust. Just start using the new name.

[Anonymous]

Another poster with experience with a difficult, ethnic first name. In middle school, I suddenly told everyone to call me Cynthia. By high School, I was so embarrassed I did that and I went back to my given name. It's a good thing I didn't change anything legally.

She can always go back to the first name if she wants to. They are both her names, nothing wrong with using the middle.

Don't try to judge her or label her behavior right now. It's completely normal to go through these feelings. I get wanting your name to be pronounced easily. She may feel different in the future.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Legally I would wait until she's 18, and positive. My husband hates his name, and it's been an unnecessary burden his entire life.

[Anonymous]

My niece has a very old fashioned nickname - (similar to) Betty. We all hated it and rolled our eyes but her mom very much wanted her to be Betty after a great aunt. Fine, she was Betty from infancy.

Well, around middle school, Betty decided she wanted to revert to her full name, Elizabeth. Now she’s Elizabeth with teachers and parents and Liz/Lizzie with her friends.

[Anonymous]

99% of the time, my name is pronounced Incorrectly. I'm 50. In emails, people would add an extra letter to it...to make it sound American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even understand how "not allowing" this works. It's her name. Why would you think she needs your permission?

Yeah what would happen when you don't "allow" it? How controlling can you be?

[Anonymous]

...Also, the majority of the people who pronounced it incorrectly are white American.

[Anonymous]

So easy, yes, just have her start using her middle name. Seems like the perfect time to do it

[Anonymous]

Sure, let her use her middle name in the new school / place. Not a big deal, plenty of people use their middle names.

[Anonymous]

My father is Richard and goes by “Dick.” My mother is Barbara and goes by “Bunny.” My brother is Charles and goes by “Skip.” I am certain your child’s middle name is better than all of these. Let her decide!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't even understand how "not allowing" this works. It's her name. Why would you think she needs your permission?

Yeah what would happen when you don't "allow" it? How controlling can you be?

Lol exactly

[Anonymous]

Of course! What more personal decision than what you want to be called?! Let her own her own identity!

I wouldn't let her legally change anything until she's 18, but just asking to be called by a middle name is a perfectly harmless and empowering choice.

[Anonymous]

My husband chose an “American” name when he started school (as a child of the 70s, he named himself after Steve Austin, the 6 Million Dollar Man 😁).
As an adult, he had his name legally changed, but that was after already having his drivers license, credit cards, student loans, marriage license, etc. issued under his American name (that would never happen these days!). His brother and sister use American names as well but never legally changed them. It’s been nbd either way.

I also know a lot of people who are opposed to changing their names or going by an easier-to-pronounce nickname. It’s a very personal choice, and I think the best thing you can do is follow your daughter’s lead on this.