Suspect friend’s teen dd is on the spectrum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been friends with someone for a long time. I know her kids well. Her teen dd has had a lot of problems over the years and I feel like all signs point to her being on the spectrum. I know you’ll say “the parents know, don’t butt in” but my friend tells me a lot of what’s going on and is constantly puzzled at why her dd is the way she is. The problem is that my friend is very very sensitive, so I worry that implying this or suggesting she get it checked out would throw her and it won’t bode well for her personal mental health. I also worry it could affect our friendship, but I would take that bullet if it would help the dd and the family. I’ve thought this for a few years now and I’ve not said anything. But recently more came up and I thought of it again.

The family is generally wary of mental health professionals, so this is a road block for all of them.

I don’t want to post specifically what I see in case my friend is on here, but they are pretty textbook. Has anyone navigated something like this?

Mind your business

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is a teen and doesn’t have a diagnosis yet, the diagnosis is not going to mean anything. Most doctors advise not to even bother at that age and just focus on treating the symptoms, whatever they may be.

Ask yourself: why is it important to you that this kid have the label attached? It won’t change the support that is available.

The parents probably know all of this and do not need your involvement.

How can you say that? The diagnosis meant everything to our family. We understood how to help our dd!

Well that’s you. My experience is different. Point is this isn’t the OP’s path to forge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your friend shares the latest situation and says she’s puzzled by what’s going on, that’s your invitation to step in.

“You’ve shared several times about Sally struggling. Have you ever thought to get her evaluated? It could help point you in the direction of how to support her since her issues don’t seem to be self-correcting.”

Don’t say the self-correcting part. That’s condescending.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned that the child has had “problems”. Not sure what that means. Also, if the child is upset about what is going on, I would ask the parent if she has spoken to the child’s doctor.

[Anonymous]

Don't mention it. I've been a classroom teacher and even from us, with documentation and evaluations, parents freak out. If she's not receptive, it wont help.