Can someone explain why some moms/parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

The question was asked as to why some moms/parents don't do snack sign up. I explained that the reason I don't do snack sign up is because I do other things, and that the things I do are not things most other parents do.

I'm not the one who started a thread titled "Can someone explain why some moms/parents don't volunteer to chaperone field trips or help stock classrooms with needed items?" I don't think about it at all. So no, I think it's a perfectly good example. Sorry you have some jerk at your school who is always trying to cajole you into doing the stuff she does, that's obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

For what it's worth, I have zero problem with the fact that they are volunteering, but sometimes I think it's more bout them than what they contribute - and I also am really tired of the "oh I can do it and you can't so I don't mind" attitude. Again, not directed nec at you personally, but the mindset of "I will sacrifice" and "I know you can't" ... well, there is at least one of us out there that feels like that volunteer may be making up stuff to feel needed and resents the fact that they think they are doing other parents a "favor"

Good lord, this was triggering for some of you.

I have literally never once told another parent that I chaperone field trips and in fact I don't think most of them even know I do it because so few parents volunteer for it. It's always the same 5-6 parents for every trip.

My whole point is that someone like OP, who is looking at a sign up sheet and seeing names "missing" from it and getting on her high horse about it, doesn't even know what other parents do and don't do. I know for sure which parents never chaperone field trips because I chaperone every field trip. I have literally never thought anything of it -- I assume they have to work (like my own spouse) and that is fine. But none of these people thank me for chaperoning either. So why the heck is OP getting pissy if I don't sign up for snack duty and expecting me to fall all over myself congratulating her for sending in some packs of goldfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

For what it's worth, I have zero problem with the fact that they are volunteering, but sometimes I think it's more bout them than what they contribute - and I also am really tired of the "oh I can do it and you can't so I don't mind" attitude. Again, not directed nec at you personally, but the mindset of "I will sacrifice" and "I know you can't" ... well, there is at least one of us out there that feels like that volunteer may be making up stuff to feel needed and resents the fact that they think they are doing other parents a "favor"

Good lord, this was triggering for some of you.

I have literally never once told another parent that I chaperone field trips and in fact I don't think most of them even know I do it because so few parents volunteer for it. It's always the same 5-6 parents for every trip.

My whole point is that someone like OP, who is looking at a sign up sheet and seeing names "missing" from it and getting on her high horse about it, doesn't even know what other parents do and don't do. I know for sure which parents never chaperone field trips because I chaperone every field trip. I have literally never thought anything of it -- I assume they have to work (like my own spouse) and that is fine. But none of these people thank me for chaperoning either. So why the heck is OP getting pissy if I don't sign up for snack duty and expecting me to fall all over myself congratulating her for sending in some packs of goldfish?

Preach, sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

The question was asked as to why some moms/parents don't do snack sign up. I explained that the reason I don't do snack sign up is because I do other things, and that the things I do are not things most other parents do.

I'm not the one who started a thread titled "Can someone explain why some moms/parents don't volunteer to chaperone field trips or help stock classrooms with needed items?" I don't think about it at all. So no, I think it's a perfectly good example. Sorry you have some jerk at your school who is always trying to cajole you into doing the stuff she does, that's obnoxious.

Thanks, yeah, I understood where you were coming from and I didn't mean to attack you personally.
But you did make me think about this woman. And, given those who are saying, "my kid doesn't need a snack" it makes me also think that there are a lot of women (especially_ out there who make up unnecessary things (things many of us do NOT do for our kids, because they don't need it - or in many cases, I am trying to help them be more INdependent, not spoiled and having mommy do everything for them).

Sometimes when she sends these guilt inducing messages it makes me feel like, "hey listen, making a snack for a 13 year old boy afterschool isn't going to help them learn to do things like pack their own snacks, etc.and I kind of wish you didn't do it, muchless make the rest of us do it"
Any thoughts on how to respond? I think she has a very intensive parenting style that I don't love. I'd say to each their own but she kind of makes it my business.

[Anonymous]

^ What I am trying to say is I find the smugness ironic

[Anonymous]

I once donated $400 for the year for after school snacks, only to have my daughter tell me that she never was allowed to get the snacks - they prioritized the kids with free lunch. I gave so much hoping to help cover all kids. Previously were in a Title 1 school, where every kid got free lunch. I thought it was really unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would hide the distribution list and only send out to parents who dont contribute. If no takers, no snacks

I would be 100% ok with this as a non contributor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? I don't understand why they don't just tack on a snack fee at the beginning of the year and then go buy shelf stable snacks in bulk at Costco one time. Is it really a good use of everyone's time for the teachers to set up these sign up sheets, have to send out multiple reminders for people to sign up, then families to separately go out and buy snacks every week? Why? Why would anyone organize it this way?

Is the point to make sure kids have access to snacks, or is it to add yet another item to every family's to do list? I get why someone might just opt out. Or forget. Or think "my kid never even eats the snack and this is a hassle, why am I participating in this."

Add in the fact that there are always a laundry list of rules about what snacks are allowed and you get to the point where there are only like 4 permitted snacks anyway. So ask families to Venmo you some money and then go to Costco once and get a bunch of those snacks at the lowest per-unit price possible. Heck, see if a parent will volunteer to do this -- I would happily make one Costco run early in the year if it means I never get an email about freaking snack sign up again.

Because 1) the school doesn’t have enough storage space for a years worth of snacks, and 2) the rats will eat them all by Labor Day.

Why don’t you volunteer your house as storage for all the snacks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? I don't understand why they don't just tack on a snack fee at the beginning of the year and then go buy shelf stable snacks in bulk at Costco one time. Is it really a good use of everyone's time for the teachers to set up these sign up sheets, have to send out multiple reminders for people to sign up, then families to separately go out and buy snacks every week? Why? Why would anyone organize it this way?

Is the point to make sure kids have access to snacks, or is it to add yet another item to every family's to do list? I get why someone might just opt out. Or forget. Or think "my kid never even eats the snack and this is a hassle, why am I participating in this."

Add in the fact that there are always a laundry list of rules about what snacks are allowed and you get to the point where there are only like 4 permitted snacks anyway. So ask families to Venmo you some money and then go to Costco once and get a bunch of those snacks at the lowest per-unit price possible. Heck, see if a parent will volunteer to do this -- I would happily make one Costco run early in the year if it means I never get an email about freaking snack sign up again.

Because 1) the school doesn’t have enough storage space for a years worth of snacks, and 2) the rats will eat them all by Labor Day.

Why don’t you volunteer your house as storage for all the snacks?

It sounds like the school in question has much bigger issues than whether Tommy's mom signed up to send class for after school Lego club the second week of May, then.

Maybe instead of complaining about that, you can do something about the rodent infestation and poor storage facilities. Maybe Tommy's mom recently had surgery or her dad died and she has other things on her mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? I don't understand why they don't just tack on a snack fee at the beginning of the year and then go buy shelf stable snacks in bulk at Costco one time. Is it really a good use of everyone's time for the teachers to set up these sign up sheets, have to send out multiple reminders for people to sign up, then families to separately go out and buy snacks every week? Why? Why would anyone organize it this way?

Is the point to make sure kids have access to snacks, or is it to add yet another item to every family's to do list? I get why someone might just opt out. Or forget. Or think "my kid never even eats the snack and this is a hassle, why am I participating in this."

Add in the fact that there are always a laundry list of rules about what snacks are allowed and you get to the point where there are only like 4 permitted snacks anyway. So ask families to Venmo you some money and then go to Costco once and get a bunch of those snacks at the lowest per-unit price possible. Heck, see if a parent will volunteer to do this -- I would happily make one Costco run early in the year if it means I never get an email about freaking snack sign up again.

Because 1) the school doesn’t have enough storage space for a years worth of snacks, and 2) the rats will eat them all by Labor Day.

Why don’t you volunteer your house as storage for all the snacks?

Instead of one big Costco run, it's a "Subscribe and Save" that sends two weeks worth of snacks to the school every two weeks, can be skipped over the holidays, and is easier to ration because it's not possible for any teacher to totally drain the snack supplies for the year by overestimating what she needs.

The school should do something about the rats though. Call Facilities, that's nasty.

[Anonymous]

I know of some people who are not in the mailing list pr group text , so they dont get any sign up sheets.
They say my kids just tell ke everything.
I wondered but they never tell you about the sign up for pqrties pr leets.

[Anonymous]

parties or meets.

[Anonymous]

I did for the 1st 5 years but noticed there is always too much and the parent in charge just gives them out to go home.

I volunteer to fund 10 bored moms standing around because 2 were enough.

It’s poor planning on the planners part so I stopped being part of the madness.

I’m the treasurer for the sports committee instead but you don’t know that because I don’t need validation from moms seeing I contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? I don't understand why they don't just tack on a snack fee at the beginning of the year and then go buy shelf stable snacks in bulk at Costco one time. Is it really a good use of everyone's time for the teachers to set up these sign up sheets, have to send out multiple reminders for people to sign up, then families to separately go out and buy snacks every week? Why? Why would anyone organize it this way?

Is the point to make sure kids have access to snacks, or is it to add yet another item to every family's to do list? I get why someone might just opt out. Or forget. Or think "my kid never even eats the snack and this is a hassle, why am I participating in this."

Add in the fact that there are always a laundry list of rules about what snacks are allowed and you get to the point where there are only like 4 permitted snacks anyway. So ask families to Venmo you some money and then go to Costco once and get a bunch of those snacks at the lowest per-unit price possible. Heck, see if a parent will volunteer to do this -- I would happily make one Costco run early in the year if it means I never get an email about freaking snack sign up again.

Because 1) the school doesn’t have enough storage space for a years worth of snacks, and 2) the rats will eat them all by Labor Day.

Why don’t you volunteer your house as storage for all the snacks?

Have you asked for storage house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do not sign up to send in snacks and drinks to school events related to an after school activity?

Is it a control thing? These are wealthy sahm moms too. The signups are created by the teachers running the programs.

Until I got to your last sentence I assumed it was because the other parents think the idea of snack after school is unnecessary and why do unnecessary work just because someone else thinks that it's necessary? This could still be the case