Can someone explain why some moms/parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

[Anonymous]

Why don't the teachers just send the list to all the dads and see if they get a better response?

[Anonymous]

Because it's not a priority for me. I don't care if they end up with no snacks. They'll live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't the teachers just send the list to all the dads and see if they get a better response?

If dads were pressured to do snack, the school would have set up a snack fund and ordered bulk snack items online to be delivered to the school years ago, because that obviously makes more sense. Tell every family signing up for after school activities there is a $20 snack fee at the beginning of the year, do a giant Amazon order of snacks, put them in the corner of an office and let teachers know what their allocation is. The end.

But that would deprive people of complaining about how "some moms" never sign up for snack duty and are so lazy and selfish. What's the point if we can't use it as a way to compare moms and criticize people behind their backs?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are contributing in other ways and it shouldn't have to be the same people who do everything. I am the fundraising chair for the PTA and am responsible for bringing in 75% of the revenue each year. It's a lot of work. So when they want parents to sign up for bringing in additional food for teacher appreciation or donating supplies, someone else can do that. I've done my part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they are contributing in other ways and it shouldn't have to be the same people who do everything. I am the fundraising chair for the PTA and am responsible for bringing in 75% of the revenue each year. It's a lot of work. So when they want parents to sign up for bringing in additional food for teacher appreciation or donating supplies, someone else can do that. I've done my part.

Or, you can use the PTA money to buy what they need.

[Anonymous]

I would hide the distribution list and only send out to parents who dont contribute. If no takers, no snacks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would hide the distribution list and only send out to parents who dont contribute. If no takers, no snacks

If you have time to do this, and it’s such a high priority to have these goldfish, you have time to go buy them yourself.

[Anonymous]

Reading these posts, I’m relieved my DC’s class isn’t filled with these selfish parents. The parents are over-the/top helpful donating healthy snacks, supplies, and whatever else the teacher needs as soon as we’re asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would hide the distribution list and only send out to parents who dont contribute. If no takers, no snacks

Insane take, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they are contributing in other ways and it shouldn't have to be the same people who do everything. I am the fundraising chair for the PTA and am responsible for bringing in 75% of the revenue each year. It's a lot of work. So when they want parents to sign up for bringing in additional food for teacher appreciation or donating supplies, someone else can do that. I've done my part.

Or, you can use the PTA money to buy what they need.

PP here. Trust me, that would be my preference. Do what we can do with what we have and not ask parents for so much. But our Teacher Appreciation Committee is a bit over the top and I refuse for over 50% of our total budget to go towards monthly breakfast buffets in the teachers lounge. So here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do not sign up to send in snacks and drinks to school events related to an after school activity?

Is it a control thing? These are wealthy sahm moms too. The signups are created by the teachers running the programs.

The very expensive private school our kids attend overseas is having a bakesale. It's an international school and parents (moms, as you say) are being encouraged to send in treats (cookies, brownies, other "American things" to sell. One mother is particularly insufferable about advertising that although she will be traveling she will be donating anyway. Encouraging us all to do our part.

1) I hate that moms and not dads are asked
2) There's zero need for money

Honestly? It's a dumb fundraiser. It's a make-work for bored mothers by bored mothers probably to judge non-bored mothers.
I am sure the other American mothers think I am not doing my part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:do not sign up to send in snacks and drinks to school events related to an after school activity?

Is it a control thing? These are wealthy sahm moms too. The signups are created by the teachers running the programs.

The very expensive private school our kids attend overseas is having a bakesale. It's an international school and parents (moms, as you say) are being encouraged to send in treats (cookies, brownies, other "American things" to sell. One mother is particularly insufferable about advertising that although she will be traveling she will be donating anyway. Encouraging us all to do our part.

1) I hate that moms and not dads are asked
2) There's zero need for money

Honestly? It's a dumb fundraiser. It's a make-work for bored mothers by bored mothers probably to judge non-bored mothers.
I am sure the other American mothers think I am not doing my part.

I am also sure that these mothers think that they are the ones "doing everything" -- and yet, I suspect that most of the rest of us think it's a waste of time.

I know I resent being judged for not wasting my time and sending helicopter messages by people who think these extras are important. They aren't most of the time and actually they are counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick one:
1) I missed the email in the 400 emails I got about end of year activities and events
2) I meant to, but forgot
3) I wish they didn't do snacks, and am hoping that by avoiding it for awhile the organizers eventually stop asking for this.
4) I thought I did sign up, but I'm confusing this sign up with the sign up for a volunteer shift

(DP) +1 to these, but also:
5) I brought in like 8 different Costco-sized snack options last semester and it can't just be my job
6) I just bought enrichment crap off the teacher's Amazon wish list for the new "module" at school
7) I'm the only parent who showed up to chaperone the field trip and it made me decide these kids need less energy, not more

WORD.

I am one of the few parents at our school who chaperones field trips and as a result I chaperone EVERY field trip because no one else volunteers and they often need a set number of volunteers for the trip to happen. I get that not every parent has the flexibility to do that, so I'm okay with it. I also really enjoy spending time with the kids.

I also help stock classrooms with cleaning supplies, art supplies, etc. Either responding to requests from teachers or just asking when I see them "what do you need, what can I send you this month." I hate the teachers sometimes buy this stuff themselves and I also hate when I hear stuff like "we only have two working pairs of scissors in art class" so I prioritize this.

But yeah I don't care about snacks that much and my kid almost never eats them so I don't sign up for that very often. If you want to complain about it, go ahead, and I will not hold it against your kid when I'm chaperoning them on a field trip and making sure they don't leave their lunch on the bus or escorting them to the bathroom for the third time, because I'm not a bean counting ahole. You are welcome.

You know - this may not be a great example, because it sounds like you are actually asking what is needed - but do you think it's possible that people DO have the flexibility to do it and think that it's not a great use of their time in some cases (or other cases)?

There is a mother at school who is always painting herself as the martyr and saying "it takes a village" in a context that makes it clear she is helping out MY kids and all the others given absent mothers (she doesn't mention fathers) like myself... but I have to say, there is a large part of me that feels like, "knock yourself out lady, but what you are doing isn't needed."

For what it's worth, I have zero problem with the fact that they are volunteering, but sometimes I think it's more bout them than what they contribute - and I also am really tired of the "oh I can do it and you can't so I don't mind" attitude. Again, not directed nec at you personally, but the mindset of "I will sacrifice" and "I know you can't" ... well, there is at least one of us out there that feels like that volunteer may be making up stuff to feel needed and resents the fact that they think they are doing other parents a "favor"