My father died of end stage colon cancer what was discovered 1 month before he passed

[Anonymous]

OP I'm sorry about this. My father also died suddenly. He had a massive cardiac arrest in the early hours of a Sunday when he was expecting to row in a race (he rowed daily). He was not on any medication and was fit and healthy as far as anyone could see.

I do agree that going out with a bang is preferable to a slow and painful decline. But at least with that you do get to say your goodbye's and how much you love a person, before you can't say anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is not helping my health anxiety.

Maybe this has nothing to do with you and you’re an extremely self centered jerk to try to turn other people’s grief and loss into pity for yourself.

To OP and all who are grieving, I’m very sorry. Be kind to yourself.

NP. Go F yourself. You're not the comment police. Health anxiety can cause a lot of anticipatory grief and is a difficult thing. This isn't the grief olympics and there is room for everyone here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s awful to lose a beloved parent, whether it’s quick and unexpected or a long, gradual decline. It’s awful, period.

My father had cholangiocarcinoma, a somewhat rare form of cancer that is rarely discovered before it’s terminal. In 7 weeks he went from being very physically active, with strength and stamina, to a nearly unrecognizable shriveled husk. We were traumatized by witnessing the transformation. People who hadn’t seen him since his diagnosis were completely shocked by his death. I spent the first year after his death in a fog, knowing that he was dead, but also feeling like I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t ready to die at the time his cancer was found. At that point, he was still very busy, leading an active life, serving his community, and making plans for the future.

Your father’s death probably doesn’t feel real yet, and it may not for a while. The passage of time will very gradually dull your pain. You’ll always miss your dad and will continue to be sad that he’s passed, but over time, the waves of grief will lose some intensity and become less frequent. You will eventually have a memory of him that will make you laugh. You’ll be able to share a story about him without getting teary eyed. He may visit you in your dreams. He will continue to be an influential figure in your life.

Hugs to you.

I knew someone who died for this. It was fast and horrible. I’m so sorry.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP. My SIL's brother (40s) was diagnosed with colon cancer last year and passed away within two months. You probably know this, but for others, the possibility of colon cancer goes up significantly if an immediate family member has had it, so please get tested. Now my BIL is fighting brain cancer (yes, same SIL, it's a nightmare). Cancer f'ing sucks.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. That is traumatic how fast it happened.

I have found great comfort with journaling and putting together a photo album- maybe you would too? It somehow gave me closure to see it all from beginning to end and to write down the very important bits. Before I did that, my mind kept trying to remember things and cling to them/put them in order. Once I did it though, it helped because now I remember their life instead of just thinking about their death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The week before he went to the hospital he was walking 10k steps. Once admitted he deteriorated quickly and it was discovered quickly that he had end stage colon cancer that had metastasized all over and he was dying.

It was very sudden and quick with him getting worse and weak every day until I saw him take his last breath.

I am devastated and I go between deep grief and shock.

I cannot imagine that he would have cancer and that it would take him so quickly!

I am so sorry to read your post and hope your grief lessens over time. Losing a parent is pain beyond measure. I do feel I should clarify some things as people may not get idea of colon cancer. I am guessing your dad did have symptoms before but maybe thought it was IBS etc. Colon cancer has signs and you do not one day walk in with terminal
colon cancer with zero signs. The signs can be embarrassing though so people may not want to discuss issues with digestion etc. People need to understand that digestion is as important as monitoring shortness of breath. Screening for colon cancer is essential and the prep for colonoscopy is so much easier now. I believe you may be able to
do without getting put out if you are scared of this. Our family has been getting colonoscopy screenings early because grandparents had this. I am no longer afraid of colonoscopy and yes again the prep is so much easier today. Please OP begin getting screened early and do not wait until 50 with having a first line family member with this disease. We started at 40 and insurance covered. Wishing health and peace!!

my friend's dh got dx with stage 4 colon cancer at his first screening colonoscopy. however that is rare. it doesn't always have symptoms though. he did have constipation which can be a symptom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly - if I had to I’d rather die quickly than suffer through many years of harsh cancer “treatments.”

+1 my dad died from colon cancer after horrific chemo -2 different years and in and out of the hospital. Also contracted sepsis from a catheter in liver.

It was so awful. I’m sorry, OP. Cancer is such an awful disease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor died in 3 days from a diagnosis. She had a big headache and these weird bruises on her back. Went to her doctor for a sick appointment and he told her to go immediately to the ER (based on the bruising) where they admitted her. She had left her dog at home and called us to go walk and fed him for her.

She fell into a coma the next day and died the day after that. Was absolutely insane. Was some sort of leukemia called 30 day Leukemia or something meaning is you didn’t have it diagnosed within 30 days of first sign, you die within a month.

Cancer sucks.

Wtf?!?!!! Awful

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately cancer can sometimes be asymptomatic until it is quite advanced. Or the symptoms are so common/vague as to be easily dismissed or attributed to other causes.

It’s true that some cancers can be very aggressive, but in most cases when the timeline moves this quickly, the disease was there for quite some time and just went undetected. It’s very sad.

OP, I’m so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately cancer can sometimes be asymptomatic until it is quite advanced. Or the symptoms are so common/vague as to be easily dismissed or attributed to other causes.

It’s true that some cancers can be very aggressive, but in most cases when the timeline moves this quickly, the disease was there for quite some time and just went undetected. It’s very sad.

OP, I’m so sorry for your loss.

this

its much much more commonly long undetected than aggressive. that's often bc of the misapprehension that it causes symptoms so people assume that they'll 'know' if they have cancer and go deal. Except in the case of a palpable breast lump, continual night sweats, seizures/ weakness or multiple swollen lymph nodes, cancer is almost always asymptomatic until late late stage. That's why preventative screenings are so important and why they are racing to develop a diagnostic blood test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a friend's wife. From pancreatic cancer diagnosis to death was 6 weeks. Doctors had dismissed her symptoms for months until she had visible jaundice. She had a stomach bleed and died pretty much instantly. Her granddaughter was born that day.

Happened to my mother, too, with pancreatic cancer. 33 days from diagnosis to death. 3 months before, she travelled all over Europe.

I’m so sorry this happened.
In a way, there is something to be said for enjoying life to the end rather than suffering in the knowledge you have a disease that it’s very very hard to manage.

I don't want to take away from OP's post or hurt in any way -- but this type of comment seems naive or reckless when it fails to account for the type of cancer.
It may well be true in the case of a terminal, aggressive, inoperable, non-treatable cancer.
On the other hand, many of us are walking around today healthy, living a normal life, for decades, because we were diagnosed early with a treatable cancer.

The comment was made with regard to pancreatic cancer. No one is walking around for decades living a normal life with that

That's not actually true. Get your facts straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately cancer can sometimes be asymptomatic until it is quite advanced. Or the symptoms are so common/vague as to be easily dismissed or attributed to other causes.

It’s true that some cancers can be very aggressive, but in most cases when the timeline moves this quickly, the disease was there for quite some time and just went undetected. It’s very sad.

OP, I’m so sorry for your loss.

this

its much much more commonly long undetected than aggressive. that's often bc of the misapprehension that it causes symptoms so people assume that they'll 'know' if they have cancer and go deal. Except in the case of a palpable breast lump, continual night sweats, seizures/ weakness or multiple swollen lymph nodes, cancer is almost always asymptomatic until late late stage. That's why preventative screenings are so important and why they are racing to develop a diagnostic blood test.

While this has historically been true, there has been a rise recently in more rapidly advancing cancers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately cancer can sometimes be asymptomatic until it is quite advanced. Or the symptoms are so common/vague as to be easily dismissed or attributed to other causes.

It’s true that some cancers can be very aggressive, but in most cases when the timeline moves this quickly, the disease was there for quite some time and just went undetected. It’s very sad.

OP, I’m so sorry for your loss.

this

its much much more commonly long undetected than aggressive. that's often bc of the misapprehension that it causes symptoms so people assume that they'll 'know' if they have cancer and go deal. Except in the case of a palpable breast lump, continual night sweats, seizures/ weakness or multiple swollen lymph nodes, cancer is almost always asymptomatic until late late stage. That's why preventative screenings are so important and why they are racing to develop a diagnostic blood test.

While this has historically been true, there has been a rise recently in more rapidly advancing cancers.

Because the cancer rate among young people has risen so significantly. Cancer tends to progress more quickly in a 30-year-old body than an 80-year-old one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately cancer can sometimes be asymptomatic until it is quite advanced. Or the symptoms are so common/vague as to be easily dismissed or attributed to other causes.

It’s true that some cancers can be very aggressive, but in most cases when the timeline moves this quickly, the disease was there for quite some time and just went undetected. It’s very sad.

OP, I’m so sorry for your loss.

this

its much much more commonly long undetected than aggressive. that's often bc of the misapprehension that it causes symptoms so people assume that they'll 'know' if they have cancer and go deal. Except in the case of a palpable breast lump, continual night sweats, seizures/ weakness or multiple swollen lymph nodes, cancer is almost always asymptomatic until late late stage. That's why preventative screenings are so important and why they are racing to develop a diagnostic blood test.

While this has historically been true, there has been a rise recently in more rapidly advancing cancers.

Because the cancer rate among young people has risen so significantly. Cancer tends to progress more quickly in a 30-year-old body than an 80-year-old one.

Cancer has increased in younger ages, however, the shift to more rapidly advancing cancers is happening across age groups recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a friend's wife. From pancreatic cancer diagnosis to death was 6 weeks. Doctors had dismissed her symptoms for months until she had visible jaundice. She had a stomach bleed and died pretty much instantly. Her granddaughter was born that day.

Happened to my mother, too, with pancreatic cancer. 33 days from diagnosis to death. 3 months before, she travelled all over Europe.

I’m so sorry this happened.
In a way, there is something to be said for enjoying life to the end rather than suffering in the knowledge you have a disease that it’s very very hard to manage.

I don't want to take away from OP's post or hurt in any way -- but this type of comment seems naive or reckless when it fails to account for the type of cancer.
It may well be true in the case of a terminal, aggressive, inoperable, non-treatable cancer.
On the other hand, many of us are walking around today healthy, living a normal life, for decades, because we were diagnosed early with a treatable cancer.

That’s fair, but I think even with those that are treatable, there’s still a lot of variance. I had a relative die of brain cancer recently and felt like the doctors gave false hope that their life expectancy/quality of life would be markedly better with treatment than without. In the end, they died within the exact time frame that most people with that type of brain cancer die, with or without treatment…I wonder if their quality of life and that of their caretakers would have been better without all that awful treatment, multiple hospitalizations etc.

This was true for my Dad. He was diagnosed in Jan 2022 with a large liposarcoma which was removed successfully in March and he resumed normal life feeling pretty good. Doctors gave him false hope (knowing full well the prognosis for people with this was about 8 months from diagnosis). At their advisement, he started chemo in May and we saw an immediate decline. Just about the time he was finishing up that first course of treatment (late-Aug) he landed back in he hospital and it was discovered the cancer had spread aggressively. He lasted another 40 days and passed away almost 8 months exactly from the diagnosis. I seriously doubt the chemo added a single day, in fact it simply hindered the last few good months he had.