Should I give up tenured professor position to help DH move higher?

[Anonymous]

Do you have children? If so, how very odd and sad that they do not factor into your thinking. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

You have children?! And you didn’t mention them ONCE in your original post? Not one word about their schooling, needs, wants, friends? Wow. You are some kind of parent.

[Anonymous]

^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

[Anonymous]

Ohh I'm so torn on this.

On one hand, you have worked incredibly hard, and your position sounds pretty great! If you were to take a sabbatical/unpaid leave, would you still have health insurance? Would DH company provide it? How does that work out of country? I really like the idea of online teaching, or visiting professorship.

On the other hand, what an amazing opportunity! It would uproot your entire lives, and it will be really stressful and hard. But it could be sooo great.

Realistically, do you want to stop working forever? That is worst case scenario, if you couldn't get a job when you move abroad/if you move back. It doesnt sound like the money is an issue, but autonomy is really important to me, so that's a huge consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

Oh shut up. What inane babble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

Oh shut up. What inane babble.

OP is either a liar or a horrible mother, there’s no in between. I suspect she’s a liar.

There’s a zero percent chance these two “rock star” high earners have four kids and all the time, freedom and choice in the world. And not even the worst parents I know would talk so much about their careers and lives and moving without a single MENTION of their children. If nothing else, OP should care about how much the children will miss the nannies who are clearly the only loving and caring presence they know.

[Anonymous]

I would not give it up. Your spouse could be laid off any day.

Are you for real?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

Oh shut up. What inane babble.

OP is either a liar or a horrible mother, there’s no in between. I suspect she’s a liar.

There’s a zero percent chance these two “rock star” high earners have four kids and all the time, freedom and choice in the world. And not even the worst parents I know would talk so much about their careers and lives and moving without a single MENTION of their children. If nothing else, OP should care about how much the children will miss the nannies who are clearly the only loving and caring presence they know.

Nannies go with them, you idiot. Don't be so poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The implicit jealousy on this thread is...astonishing.

How so? Seems like the median response is telling OP not to give up the job. Is that indicative of implicit jealousy?

Honestly I am jealous of OP's job - not of her marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

Oh shut up. What inane babble.

OP is either a liar or a horrible mother, there’s no in between. I suspect she’s a liar.

There’s a zero percent chance these two “rock star” high earners have four kids and all the time, freedom and choice in the world. And not even the worst parents I know would talk so much about their careers and lives and moving without a single MENTION of their children. If nothing else, OP should care about how much the children will miss the nannies who are clearly the only loving and caring presence they know.

OP mentions her kids in the OP. You sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Do not give up a tenured position.
Sabbatical, live apart and visit during time off, live apart. Keep your job.

He could be laid off or the economy could tank. You will be glad for this job with benefits to depend on. You don't need to be a star. You are in a good position and should keep it.

He could also not take this job at this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^WTF are you on about? They are 6 and under, they don't know sh*t.

They certainly don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who gives them a single thought, that’s for sure.

Oh shut up. What inane babble.

OP is either a liar or a horrible mother, there’s no in between. I suspect she’s a liar.

There’s a zero percent chance these two “rock star” high earners have four kids and all the time, freedom and choice in the world. And not even the worst parents I know would talk so much about their careers and lives and moving without a single MENTION of their children. If nothing else, OP should care about how much the children will miss the nannies who are clearly the only loving and caring presence they know.

OP mentions her kids in the OP. You sound unhinged.

No, she just mentions “family.” That could just be her and DH. All of this is lies though, so never mind.

In the future, OP, if you want to be a believable troll, you would have mentioned the number of kids, their ages, and your current and possible care/schooling scenarios in your original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move to the next level. You have been there done that in academia. It's a great big world out there, and in a couple years I think you will be surprised that you had even considered staying. We all get stuck competing in tournaments (human nature) while rarely examining whether this is the tournament in which we even want to compete.

Using some counterfactual visualization may be helpful. If you had a fulfilling life living abroad as your husband rockets forward in his career, would you give it up to have a tenured professorship, which you had already experienced before?

What?

This is silly to the point of being stupid. There is no next level. She’s exactly where she wants to be and will never find this level of flexibility and intellectual freedom anywhere else. It simply doesn’t exist.

I don’t understand “why” her husband needs to move up in his career. It sounds like he’s in a good place as is. The other option is for the husband to move abroad on his own and the family to schedule frequent visits to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, children are very young (oldest is only 6) so we are not too concerned about disruption to their lives. DH isn't sure either, he will likely need to find another job in another company if he does not want to move into international P/L roles in his company.

You have children?! And you didn’t mention them ONCE in your original post? Not one word about their schooling, needs, wants, friends? Wow. You are some kind of parent.

They are a high income power couple. The kids are raised by the nanny and house is cared for by the maid.