WWYD? Distant relatives turned free loaders

[Anonymous]

No way. And they are blocked. And if elderly relatives won't zip it, they are blocked, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has a set of first cousins who he tried to stay in touch with, engage with them, but to no avail. No reciprocation whatsoever. They never call or text, he is the one doing it all. It's the only side of his family who showed up to our wedding without any gift. Their parents always said, "oh, they are just shy". I think we've met their kids once or twice. They can't even remember our DS name.

All of a sudden, they started bombarding us with messages asking to stay in our summer house. For several months. FOR FREE. Because one of them is going through a messy divorce and another one has house renovations, so they decided to all pile up together and stay at our place for the summer.

I already told them "no", but they are relentless, they now call DH, they are involving their elderly parents to plead their case, "poor darlings need some rest". Why should we let them in for free? I told their mother, "we barely know them, they are asking to stay at least for 2 months, here's how much we charge to rent it for this long" and they got all offended. Started saying, "this is family".

NO. They will turn into squatters and have tenant rights. No way.

If you let them charge them and only for one week. But I wouldn't even do that.

My grandmother has two vacation homes and she is too old now to go to one, but refuses to sell. Family goes down and we are now required to clean up after ourselves, do sheets, etc, because they got rid of the weekly cleaner. They have a maintenance person come over and check the place, but only have a deep clean 3-4x a year. I recently went after a sibling and it was disgusting. I was appalled! Rotten food in the fridge, dirty sheets and towels, etc, etc. Sent a family group chat with pictures asking why someone would leave the house in such a state. If you don't want to clean up then hire the deep cleaners and have them clean the day you leave.

Someone broke the washing machine and refused to fix it and no one knew until someone else went down. It shocks me how some people treat other peoples homes especially when they go down for free. Don't do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: the amount of guilt tripping DH elderly aunt and uncle have put us through this past weekend has reached epic proportions. We hate doing this to old people but had to block them yesterday. It pains my DH especially as these are his closest relatives since his parents have passed away a while ago.

Wow. These are his closest relatives and you treat them like this.

We just bought a beach house and haven’t started renting it yet. If you rent it out, it is probably already rented out for part or all of the summer by now.

An aunt and first cousins are not distant cousins. These are as close as you get with family minus siblings.

It really depends on your financial situation. Why do they need to stay at your beach house? Any why both of them all of a sudden? Will they have a primary residence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has a set of first cousins who he tried to stay in touch with, engage with them, but to no avail. No reciprocation whatsoever. They never call or text, he is the one doing it all. It's the only side of his family who showed up to our wedding without any gift. Their parents always said, "oh, they are just shy". I think we've met their kids once or twice. They can't even remember our DS name.

All of a sudden, they started bombarding us with messages asking to stay in our summer house. For several months. FOR FREE. Because one of them is going through a messy divorce and another one has house renovations, so they decided to all pile up together and stay at our place for the summer.

I already told them "no", but they are relentless, they now call DH, they are involving their elderly parents to plead their case, "poor darlings need some rest". Why should we let them in for free? I told their mother, "we barely know them, they are asking to stay at least for 2 months, here's how much we charge to rent it for this long" and they got all offended. Started saying, "this is family".

Do people really think first cousins are distant relatives? I actually never thought about it, but now that I have, I would draw the lin3 between 2nd and third cousins.

It depends. I probably have 50 first cousins, some of whom I’ve never met. I have second / third cousins that I’ve spent every holiday with.

[Anonymous]

I think the suddenness is disturbing and I would be concerned that you will never get them out of your vacation house once they are there.

I wouldn't block elderly relatives though, but I would be more careful giving them information -like the fact you have a beach house, now that you know your first cousins have no interest in you, but plenty of interest in your beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: the amount of guilt tripping DH elderly aunt and uncle have put us through this past weekend has reached epic proportions. We hate doing this to old people but had to block them yesterday. It pains my DH especially as these are his closest relatives since his parents have passed away a while ago.

Wow. These are his closest relatives and you treat them like this.

We just bought a beach house and haven’t started renting it yet. If you rent it out, it is probably already rented out for part or all of the summer by now.

An aunt and first cousins are not distant cousins. These are as close as you get with family minus siblings.

It really depends on your financial situation. Why do they need to stay at your beach house? Any why both of them all of a sudden? Will they have a primary residence?

Well, they are if they can't even remember OP's kid's name.

[Anonymous]

Share this article with your husband. These cousins may have designs on trying to steal your home. Tell them no.

https://nypost.com/2024/03/04/us-news/why-cant-squatters-like-brett-flores-get-evicted-and-how-did-it-get-to-this-point/amp/