WWYD? Distant relatives turned free loaders

[Anonymous]

No.
Don't respond.

[Anonymous]

Definite no and I'd I'd distance and stop reaching out. In my family also people think they can be entitled freeloaders with family because it's family. Healthy family members genuinely care and respect boundaries. These are users. Expect them to create drama and make you all the villains when you decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has a set of first cousins who he tried to stay in touch with, engage with them, but to no avail. No reciprocation whatsoever. They never call or text, he is the one doing it all. It's the only side of his family who showed up to our wedding without any gift. Their parents always said, "oh, they are just shy". I think we've met their kids once or twice. They can't even remember our DS name.

All of a sudden, they started bombarding us with messages asking to stay in our summer house. For several months. FOR FREE. Because one of them is going through a messy divorce and another one has house renovations, so they decided to all pile up together and stay at our place for the summer.

I already told them "no", but they are relentless, they now call DH, they are involving their elderly parents to plead their case, "poor darlings need some rest". Why should we let them in for free? I told their mother, "we barely know them, they are asking to stay at least for 2 months, here's how much we charge to rent it for this long" and they got all offended. Started saying, "this is family".

Do people really think first cousins are distant relatives? I actually never thought about it, but now that I have, I would draw the lin3 between 2nd and third cousins.

[Anonymous]

I’d focus my energy on making sure DH is 1000% on board with saying no to this nonsense and disengaging. Stop responding to these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure to read up on on local squatter rules. If they start receiving mail at this address with their name you may struggle to evict

This. Once they establish residency i can guarantee you they will never leave. You will have to evict which will be expensive and lengthy. Dont let them stay there under any circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You actually tracked who did and didn’t give you a wedding gift?

No wonder they haven’t talked to you.

Not OP but you missed the point.

[Anonymous]

You really need to learn to lie with relatives like this. Boldface, unrelenting lies each and every time they call asking for something:

Sorry, we are having financial difficulties and had to rent out the house to make money and are about to sell it.

Sorry, we are doing repairs all summer on the house. It is turning into a nightmare with all the contractors and all the problems they keep finding- major plumbing and electrical so no light or water right now.

We already rented it out because we really need the money and are struggling.

[Anonymous]

No!!!

[Anonymous]

OP: the amount of guilt tripping DH elderly aunt and uncle have put us through this past weekend has reached epic proportions. We hate doing this to old people but had to block them yesterday. It pains my DH especially as these are his closest relatives since his parents have passed away a while ago.

[Anonymous]

Dear god, that's ridiculous OP.

Glad you blocked them rather than caving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: the amount of guilt tripping DH elderly aunt and uncle have put us through this past weekend has reached epic proportions. We hate doing this to old people but had to block them yesterday. It pains my DH especially as these are his closest relatives since his parents have passed away a while ago.

With family like this, who needs enemies?

[Anonymous]

OP you should've just told them it's rented and called it a day, then you wouldn't have had to have blocked. Now its going to be all drama. Just tell them all it's rented.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you have cameras and if keys to your vaca home have been passed around over the years I think it's time to install keypad deadbolt locks. These are the kinds of shameless relatives who will try and sneak visits. Don't provide them any info. Tell the elderly aunt and uncle to pay for their children to have a summer home if they really need a break. Agree that with a divorce in the mix there is a real chance that these relatives won't leave. And why the hell do they think they can deprive the rightful owners from using their own damn vacation house? So much is weird with this situation. Cut ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you should've just told them it's rented and called it a day, then you wouldn't have had to have blocked. Now its going to be all drama. Just tell them all it's rented.

OP: why do we have to lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure you have cameras and if keys to your vaca home have been passed around over the years I think it's time to install keypad deadbolt locks. These are the kinds of shameless relatives who will try and sneak visits. Don't provide them any info. Tell the elderly aunt and uncle to pay for their children to have a summer home if they really need a break. Agree that with a divorce in the mix there is a real chance that these relatives won't leave. And why the hell do they think they can deprive the rightful owners from using their own damn vacation house? So much is weird with this situation. Cut ties.

OP: oh no no, we have the keys. And cameras. And it's in a gated community, you cannot get in without a pass. We are really surprised they even reached out to us after all these years.