WWYD? Distant relatives turned free loaders
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
DH has a set of first cousins who he tried to stay in touch with, engage with them, but to no avail. No reciprocation whatsoever. They never call or text, he is the one doing it all. It's the only side of his family who showed up to our wedding without any gift. Their parents always said, "oh, they are just shy". I think we've met their kids once or twice. They can't even remember our DS name.
All of a sudden, they started bombarding us with messages asking to stay in our summer house. For several months. FOR FREE. Because one of them is going through a messy divorce and another one has house renovations, so they decided to all pile up together and stay at our place for the summer. I already told them "no", but they are relentless, they now call DH, they are involving their elderly parents to plead their case, "poor darlings need some rest". Why should we let them in for free? I told their mother, "we barely know them, they are asking to stay at least for 2 months, here's how much we charge to rent it for this long" and they got all offended. Started saying, "this is family". |
Anonymous
| Hard no! They will never leave! |
Anonymous
|
They have a different idea of family, OP. My husband and his family acts like this (but they'd send a wedding gift). In their mind, it doesn't matter how little contact you have or how well you know each other, if a relative is in difficulties, you help them out. My husband and his siblings have paid for the schooling of distant nieces and nephews they've never even met, back in their home country! My family would NEVER do this! 
You're well within your rights to politely decline to host them, of course. Just trying to explain that these sort of people do exist, and they're not bad people. |
Anonymous
| No, or charge a fair price money in advance |
Anonymous
To me, them not giving a gift, answering texts, or remembering the sons name are indicators that these relatives would not reciprocate if OP had a need. |
Anonymous
I am actually an immigrant and I'd never financially support an able bodied person. I paid for my own degree, while in most countries post-secondary education is free. I am against mooching off relatives. I don't think these are bad people or good people. They are just not present. They never wanted a relationship with us, so now we get a barrage of phone calls that first started with "can we stay at your place for 2 months" and when we told them "no", they went "well, why not?" Involving elderly relatives is just such bad taste. |
Anonymous
| My husbands family would probably do this too. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked us for something like this (although my DH would prob say no). They are also from another country when family is family if you you don’t know them. |
Anonymous
| I would say no. And then cut contact with them. |
Anonymous
| no way. |
Anonymous
| That’s insane. Just say it’s already rented for the summer |
Anonymous
| Say no once and then don’t respond. How tacky. 2 months? One week maybe I’d consider but not moving in for a semi permanent situation for free. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| You’ve already said no. Next step, block their calls. These ppl have no shame and I have no doubt that 2 months will turn into a year and then you will be fighting a legal quagmire to evict |
Anonymous
| No is a complete sentence. Do not engage - which will happen if you offer *any* reason/explanation. |
Anonymous
|
You actually tracked who did and didn’t give you a wedding gift?
No wonder they haven’t talked to you. |