Son is failing classes, I can’t afford another tutor.

[Anonymous]

Does his English teacher have help classes? Your son could stop by and ask his teacher to proofread an essay or check grammar homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Does his English teacher have help classes? Your son could stop by and ask his teacher to proofread an essay or check grammar homework.

He probably hasn’t written anything to proofread! I’m an English teacher, we do this for all kids anyway. I teach kids like OP’s. They’re unmedicated (sometimes even undiagnosed but she at least knows what he has and that he needs meds that she doesn’t make him take) and then, because they’re unmedicated, their brain seeks dopamine through their phone and they are darn near unreachable on an academic level. Absorbing nothing we teach and putting out almost no work. You can’t expect us to out-tutor an imbalance that he won’t medicate, that isn’t how this works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he go to public school? Easier grading.

+1 He'll be an A student.

Comments like this are so obnoxious. DD is a top student and works very hard for her A’s.

Great but not every kid does. Mine doesn’t and still gets As. I wish I had the money for private school so he could learn a work ethic.

[Anonymous]

In the poster with the unmedicated 16 yo. OP, go post on the SN forum. You will receive more useful replies from people who understand how medication is very useful and how you can’t and shouldn’t force a teen to take them against their will. No, taking away a phone to force meds for ADHD isn’t the answer. It’s a lot more complicated than that. Come on over to SN and restart the conversation there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has mild ADD, doesn’t want to take the meds for it. He is not depressed, with exception to his grades but part of him doesn’t care or rather he accepts he’s not “smart” - in his words.

In math, I hired an expensive tutor and he now has a B - this is after I spent so much money on mathnasium which is futile. I cannot hire a professional tutor for religion, spanish and English too. He’s 15, Feb. birthday. I threatened to make him repeat a grade, this is after being so “good” not yelling at him the last couple years. He’s sensitive.

He is going to get a job this summer, should i make him fork over some money towards all the tutoring? I am beside myself.

No Op you should not.

He's still a child.

Just make sure he graduates from HS. That is key getting a GED is not as easy as people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the poster with the unmedicated 16 yo. OP, go post on the SN forum. You will receive more useful replies from people who understand how medication is very useful and how you can’t and shouldn’t force a teen to take them against their will. No, taking away a phone to force meds for ADHD isn’t the answer. It’s a lot more complicated than that. Come on over to SN and restart the conversation there.

You do you. I (and plenty of SN parents) are perfecting fine with "forcing" our kids.
I will do whatever it takes to convince my to take his medication as long as he is a minor and lives in my house. I don't physically force but I am 100% ok with taking away privileges. When he turns 18 and goes to college he will be 100% free to make his own choice. Thankfully he has developed his own agency in this regard but it took a parent stepping in. His 15 year old brain had no ability to see the long picture or the benefits of medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the social media.

+1

[Anonymous]

If you have a kid with adhd or add who won’t take meds to help with cognition, please don’t steer them into trades like auto mechanics or electrical work or truck driving or any other trade where other people’s lives may hang in the balance if they can’t pay attention to detail.

Food service is good. Maybe yard maintenance? Be realistic with your kid about how he is limiting life options.