Private school or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that private school is for families with 800k+ HHI. I know that in ten years children will be mostly attending the same schools and in twenty years most of them will be working at the same places making similar salaries. But both child and I LOVE the school. We are a fed family so making 300s. Market has bumped up our retirement to 1m and brokerage to another 1m. Some 529 that can also be tapped. Home is almost paid off and 2 investment properties. Can we afford 60k tuition and fees for 4 years for one child? Obviously no FA.

Private school has nothing to do with getting a higher quality education. It costs $0 to learn, to accumulate knowledge, to build leadership, and to develop strong character. Private school is for parents that are too lazy to enforce rigor and discipline and for spoon-fed children that are incapable of rising above the distractions inherent in everyday life. So, OP, if either you or your children fall into these latter categories – if your family requires extra help overcoming adversity – then, by all means, push forward and go private. You can’t afford NOT to make the investment in this situation. These types of schools were explicitly created to provide a coddled environment for indolent guardians and the intellectually challenged. Hey…if the shoe fits….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two kids went to public schools and both attended top 20 colleges. One is a urology resident and the other has started his own IT services company. It’s been well documented that within the same socioeconomic group, private school is a huge waste of money. But hey you do you and thanks for subsidizing my kids’ educations.

Waste of money is a bit harsh.

I place private schools in the same category as buying a luxury car over a basic Honda. Your good suburban public is like a Honda or Toyota, it does the job reliably enough and gets you to where you need to go. But the luxury car is unquestionably a nicer, smoother and more enjoyable ride. Is the luxury car a waste of money?

Then there's the other valid argument that private schools are terrific for middle of the pack kids who can get overlooked in a bigger and busier public school environment and it can make the difference in fostering confidence. Whether that's worth the tuition fees multiplied by how many years will be up to the individual.

No, a more apropos analogy would be whether OP should encourage her kids to stay fit by eating healthy and running a 5K every morning (i.e., public school) or whether she should just pay for liposuctions every year (i.e., private school).

[Anonymous]

We did private in the pandemic and I didn’t think it was worth the money but if it’s a priority for YOU, you can make it work, I think. It will be tight but it’s your call.

[Anonymous]

No school, including college, is worth $60k/year. To anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that private school is for families with 800k+ HHI. I know that in ten years children will be mostly attending the same schools and in twenty years most of them will be working at the same places making similar salaries. But both child and I LOVE the school. We are a fed family so making 300s. Market has bumped up our retirement to 1m and brokerage to another 1m. Some 529 that can also be tapped. Home is almost paid off and 2 investment properties. Can we afford 60k tuition and fees for 4 years for one child? Obviously no FA.

Private school has nothing to do with getting a higher quality education. It costs $0 to learn, to accumulate knowledge, to build leadership, and to develop strong character. Private school is for parents that are too lazy to enforce rigor and discipline and for spoon-fed children that are incapable of rising above the distractions inherent in everyday life. So, OP, if either you or your children fall into these latter categories – if your family requires extra help overcoming adversity – then, by all means, push forward and go private. You can’t afford NOT to make the investment in this situation. These types of schools were explicitly created to provide a coddled environment for indolent guardians and the intellectually challenged. Hey…if the shoe fits….

I hate to break it you, but if your kid is in private and you take the attitude you are describing here, they will be counseled out of the less expensive privates and into the most expensive privates (think more than big 3).

Even huge donations over and above tuition can’t buy your family out of that pipeline.

Private is where income redistribution comes to roost. But there are smaller classes and at the better privates, your kid will learn more than in public before high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that private school is for families with 800k+ HHI. I know that in ten years children will be mostly attending the same schools and in twenty years most of them will be working at the same places making similar salaries. But both child and I LOVE the school. We are a fed family so making 300s. Market has bumped up our retirement to 1m and brokerage to another 1m. Some 529 that can also be tapped. Home is almost paid off and 2 investment properties. Can we afford 60k tuition and fees for 4 years for one child? Obviously no FA.

Private school has nothing to do with getting a higher quality education. It costs $0 to learn, to accumulate knowledge, to build leadership, and to develop strong character. Private school is for parents that are too lazy to enforce rigor and discipline and for spoon-fed children that are incapable of rising above the distractions inherent in everyday life. So, OP, if either you or your children fall into these latter categories – if your family requires extra help overcoming adversity – then, by all means, push forward and go private. You can’t afford NOT to make the investment in this situation. These types of schools were explicitly created to provide a coddled environment for indolent guardians and the intellectually challenged. Hey…if the shoe fits….

LOL private school is for anyone who can afford it and anyone who feels their public school pyramid sucks. And many do these days. Pubic schools are suffering severe grade inflation as we speak and colleges are onto it. My kid is in private and has to get a 93 to achieve an A and maintain that grade for the entire semester (no marking periods to average). On the other hand, MCPS will give a semester grade of A to any kid who gets 79.5 and 89.5 in the two marking periods (B + A = A for semester). If that were my kid's school, that would equate to a solid B for the semester. Like I said, colleges know this and are looking to other factors to evaluate students. Grades are are pretty meaningless now in public schools. Hoping more and more colleges move back to standardized testing required. Add to all of this the fighting, vaping and sex in the bathrooms, and everything else, I would never send my kid to public even if money were tight...and I live in a very very strong school district.

Take a peek at this thread for more insight on grade deflation at MCPS and the impact on college admissions. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192373.page

[Anonymous]

PP, don’t you mean grade inflation?

Private schools have grade deflation around here and no, AOs are not rewarding students from those schools.

[Anonymous]

$180 HHI, 1 kid. Planning to send kid to private school.

[Anonymous]

HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

Your kid isn’t starting with “nothing.” What a ridiculous, un-self-aware thing to say. Honestly, anyone who could write such nonsense has no business weighing in at all in this discussion.

And “higher plane of morality”? That’s laughable combined with the rest of your post. Absolutely absurdist comedy, as a whole, to the point where I desperately hope you are trolling because otherwise… your poor kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

Your kids are so lucky that their parents treat them like an experiment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

What is the morality behind starting your kid with nothing? As parents, you decided that rather than helping them the best you can, it's actually more moral for you to give them ... nothing?

For the record, the only things I would accept to mean "start with nothing" would be dumping them into the Sahara desert at age 0 and other equivalents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

What is the morality behind starting your kid with nothing? As parents, you decided that rather than helping them the best you can, it's actually more moral for you to give them ... nothing?

For the record, the only things I would accept to mean "start with nothing" would be dumping them into the Sahara desert at age 0 and other equivalents.

It’s absolutely hysterical that a parent posting on DCUM apparently sincerely believes her kid is starting with nothing. 🤣

It’s also sad, really. But I choose to focus on the humor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HHI of 400k. Paying for two kids to go to private because our zoned schools are awful. Also, I worked in a college admissions office and saw what a huge advantage private school kids have in so many ways. Sure we skimp on home renovations and vacations but nothing is more important than giving them a good start at life. I went to public schools and did fine but that was two decades ago and things are very different.

Definitely. A lot of kids require a good start at life, as they’re unable to materially advance without significant help from others. I totally get it. DH and I have a different philosophy. We operate on a higher plane of morality. We would rather see our kid start with nothing and be able to push through to create a NW of $2M than start with a $10M advantage end up with a NW of $5M.

Your kid isn’t starting with “nothing.” What a ridiculous, un-self-aware thing to say. Honestly, anyone who could write such nonsense has no business weighing in at all in this discussion.

And “higher plane of morality”? That’s laughable combined with the rest of your post. Absolutely absurdist comedy, as a whole, to the point where I desperately hope you are trolling because otherwise… your poor kid.

Oh yes, my poor kids. Both went to public school, one is still there while the other is now studying mechanical engineering at Berkeley (yes, I know, another lousy public school). Both have traveled the world extensively to donate time and service to organizations and individuals in need of humanitarian support. Both are academic heavyweights, have strong jobs to fund their selfless endeavors, are investment savvy entrepreneurs, and are skyrocketing to success as future pillars of society. My kids learned to work hard and to appreciate the challenge while your kids have learned how to pick the pockets of others in parallel to texting mommy and daddy to request their monthly allowance refresh.

BTW, I never stated that my kid was starting with nothing. I was making a comparative analysis for reference to underscore the importance of the journey more so than the end result. But, I suppose, in retrospect I should have used more simplistic and straightforward terms that would have been more easily digestible by likely respondents.