Can I wear white to a male gay spring wedding?

[Anonymous]

Gay community disavows these performative "allies" attacking OP. OP, ask the hosts for dress code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who says “male gay”? Are you really a friend of the couple, OP?

Gen X.

I know tons of gay women who say they are gay rather than refer to themselves as lesbian. In fact, I think the rise in popularity of the word queer stems from the fact that many gay women prefer it to lesbian.

For whatever reason, the lesbians I know (north of 50) tend to use the word lesbian in silly ways (eg, Lesburu).

Anyway, we all understood the op’s use of gay male wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay community disavows these performative "allies" attacking OP. OP, ask the hosts for dress code.

The wedding was in the spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Even though there is no bride, wearing white would make you stand out and appear as if you want the attention focused on you. No guests should ever wear white to any wedding. A gay wedding is still a wedding. Please respect them by following previously set customs.

The wedding is a gay male wedding. It’s already not following previous customs lol. The reason women don’t wear white to weddings is so that no one confuses them for the bride. Here there is no bride. Get it?

OP the only reason I would avoid wearing white to a gay wedding is in case someone still somehow mistakes me for the bride, which is highly possible. So it’s best to wear another color - not because you are worried ppl confuse you with the bride (since there is no bride), but because ppl may think you are the bride. That being said, I don’t think a white blazer would cause any confusion so it should be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be sure to let the grooms and their families (and actual friends) know that you don’t consider this to be a “real” wedding by wearing white and by calling it a gay male wedding.

Don’t you think it matters that this is a male gay wedding and not a female gay wedding?

No. White at any wedding is meant to signify “attention” and even if the grooms don’t choose to wear it, they may assign it as a special color for attendants, their mothers or sisters, the officiant, etc.

This is a very heteronormative way to view this.

[Anonymous]

Do you qualify ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the grooms are wearing black or gray, I think it's o.k. Light blue...hmmm. White tuxes themselves...then no for you.

The main point would be whether you would be confused with a bride. Low chance of that in this case. But you still might get photographed with one of the grooms alone. And you might want a copy of that pic.

Ask a groom and see if they care. Follow their advice.

No, no, no, no! There are many people who will never answer questions like this honestly because they feel like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Did no one note that the white TUXEDO JACKET just sounds like a bad idea? Not cute, and performative.

I do want to know how this one turned out.

[Anonymous]

No. I would wear pale blue. Like an icy, Swedish blue. Or a light dusty rose. Anything pastel will be better than white.