How many seventh graders are “dating”?

[Anonymous]

My husband lost his virginity at 13, and my kids cousin (who is now 17) was also 13. Some of the kids my oldest knows who were dating in 8th grade were having sex, but most were not. However not a single one of the kids who were active daters early on lost their virginity any later than 15, so just be aware that even if it’s innocent now it progresses pretty quickly in high school.

My freshman on the other hand - her friends are nowhere near all that. Not a single one of her group dated or even “talked” to boys in middle school and at 14/15 are all now in that text only romance stage. While my junior - her and her friends already had boyfriends/girlfriends by now. I guess it’s all about your social group.

[Anonymous]

I was a very conservative teen but I’m shocked by how little interaction kids have now with kids of the opposite gender. When I was in middle school in the early 90s, the vast majority of kids were occasionally “dating” or “going out”, and there were others who were more serious in their relationships than Hs kids I know now.

Among a certain crowd, hjs and bjs were common (and discussed at length in the MS volleyball locker room). I can think of 3 babies born to my middle school classmates, and this was in a very nice suburb in a Midwestern city. At my kids’ k-8, girls and boys who *flirt* with each other are basically considered fast and/or slutty.

[Anonymous]

My kid is heavy into theater so she has a lot of interaction with boys who have similar interests as her. She now has a boyfriend in this group, but she is one of the first. I’m actually very grateful for this extracurricular activity because I see most of the clicky girls in a popular group or girls who do a girls-only sport do not have much interaction with boys or if they do it is only over text and I think it’s very unhealthy. I would much prefer my girl having face-to-face interaction with a boy dating him rather than being an electronic-device only relationship. These are soft skills that these kids really need to learn at this age or high school will be much more difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd had a boyfriend in each grade of MS.

Texting
Guy asking to be his GF
Texting
Texting
Getting together with parents around 1-3x over months.
Guys realizing it’s sort of dumb for their age, breaks up.

Then the drama comes a couple of months later, not at the breakup time.

Most my DD has done is hold hands one time with one of these guys. One guy watched a couple of movies with her and he was too nervous to “make a move” like arm around or kiss.

It’s all socially based. They all go back and report back to their same-gendered friends about what happened. My dd happens to be super confident, bold, outgoing, and that’s the only reason she was first. Now they’re all more confident since they’ve seen her.

Now in 8th, I could see one friend having a first kiss with one of these same boys.

I really loathed 1-2 of these guys. One was so cute with my kid, and .. really .. they all need to grow a few more years before they can handle any of this.

Last note, one of her friends in an unstable home, and a younger grade, has been in many “relationships.” And got caught doing physical acts with one of these boys. The changing home dynamic is putting her at risk for all of the worrisome stuff that my dd has been able to avoid.

So, it’s possible for kids to be doing sexual acts but most are not.

How did you handle the relationship where you didn’t like the boys? Did you get involved/voiced your concerns or let her figure it out on her own?

Nope. Not a word. Supportive of her choice. Told her I wished she saved dating for high school, but I’m glad she’ll tell me.

I wasn’t allowed to date, and so .. I did. And just didn’t tell my parents. Worst. It’s fortunate I didn’t get myself into a lot of trouble.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier. Now that mine has had 3 bf, (even though it’s like the innocent boy I dated in middle school, and we never broke up, so I sometimes joke that I’m still dating Michael. Lolol), she has also been labeled things. Not a slur outright to her face. But a friend of these guys called her a basketball, gets passed around.

One of the ex bfs said no other friend could ask her out or it would “complete the circle.” lol these guys.

But I’ve had huge empathy for her in the process of hearing what boys say. It makes her see how they exaggerate or make things bc she basically just texted these boys, and they’re still calling her names.

[Anonymous]

The earlier they start "dating" the more likely they are to do something stupid. Their judgment isn't fully formed; actually it's at its worst. The most boy-crazy, early-dating girls in my kids' peer groups are the ones who are having sex in school bathrooms in 10th grade.
I would encourage parents to distract their kids as long as possible. Teach them about intimacy to supplant all the sex that floats around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a girl in my son’s class who’s had an Only Fans since 5th grade, and one of the 7th graders last year got pregnant and had to drop out of school. So kids absolutely are doing sexual things at this age. Thankfully it’s a small minority.

I hope authorities were notified. Pretty sure it’s illegal for a 10 yr old to have an Only Fans account. As for the pregnant 7th grader.. the boy/man was likely not in 7th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a girl in my son’s class who’s had an Only Fans since 5th grade, and one of the 7th graders last year got pregnant and had to drop out of school. So kids absolutely are doing sexual things at this age. Thankfully it’s a small minority.

I hope authorities were notified. Pretty sure it’s illegal for a 10 yr old to have an Only Fans account. As for the pregnant 7th grader.. the boy/man was likely not in 7th grade

Sad.
Every time there is a young teen pregnant, we must shift the conversation toward the 17-23 yo who participated / instigated the whole thing.

PSA for everyone. Like pp^ she correctly brought in the more responsible (rather irresponsible) figure

[Anonymous]

My 7th-grade boy has been through a few girlfriends this year, and each time, it was the girl who asked him out who then broke up with him. Their relationship was confined to texting, as far as I could tell.

[Anonymous]

HS now, but it sort of applies to my DD’s MS experience — DD is stunning, thin, symmetrical, likes fashion. Prettier than I was at her age. Even if I wanted to date back then, no one was dating in MS and not the shy girl who had not grown into her nose, that loved Broadway musicals and sang to herself longingly in the front yard while all the boys she used to play with were now playing touch football and chatting with cheerleaders.

I grew into my nose, happily married and focused on my hobbies (no longer singing to myself).

It makes me concerned that one especially cute boy in 9th grade didn’t treat her nicely and I was sort of .. not ok.. but I made an excuse in my head one day.

Shocking to me when I realized that certain boys get away with not treating girls right. At her age, I would have accepted any treatment by any boy. She’s growing up with more choices, maybe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems all the girls in seventh grade want to start dating. I know very few boys who are at that stage. How many seventh grade couples do you know of? I know this basically means they’re just calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and they only communicate over text and there are no real dates or physical contact. But, I find it hard to believe many seventh grade boys are really even interested in that level of “dating.” The girls seem way ahead of the boys in this regard.

This truly not something I ever monitored. Like WTAF.

[Anonymous]

7th grade girls give out blowies in the loo the way the dentist gives out toothbrushes after a cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier. Now that mine has had 3 bf, (even though it’s like the innocent boy I dated in middle school, and we never broke up, so I sometimes joke that I’m still dating Michael. Lolol), she has also been labeled things. Not a slur outright to her face. But a friend of these guys called her a basketball, gets passed around.

One of the ex bfs said no other friend could ask her out or it would “complete the circle.” lol these guys.

But I’ve had huge empathy for her in the process of hearing what boys say. It makes her see how they exaggerate or make things bc she basically just texted these boys, and they’re still calling her names.

This is spot on. It sucks. The girls who date a lot in middle school get talked about and get a reputation that sticks with them. The double standards are alive and well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems all the girls in seventh grade want to start dating. I know very few boys who are at that stage. How many seventh grade couples do you know of? I know this basically means they’re just calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and they only communicate over text and there are no real dates or physical contact. But, I find it hard to believe many seventh grade boys are really even interested in that level of “dating.” The girls seem way ahead of the boys in this regard.

This truly not something I ever monitored. Like WTAF.

You have no idea what your kid was doing in middle school and had no idea what their friends were doing either? Most people talk to their kids and pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a girl in my son’s class who’s had an Only Fans since 5th grade, and one of the 7th graders last year got pregnant and had to drop out of school. So kids absolutely are doing sexual things at this age. Thankfully it’s a small minority.

I hope authorities were notified. Pretty sure it’s illegal for a 10 yr old to have an Only Fans account. As for the pregnant 7th grader.. the boy/man was likely not in 7th grade

Sad.
Every time there is a young teen pregnant, we must shift the conversation toward the 17-23 yo who participated / instigated the whole thing.

PSA for everyone. Like pp^ she correctly brought in the more responsible (rather irresponsible) figure

PP here. The 7th grader, from what I understand, got pregnant by an 8th grader. So, yes, an older boy, but not that much older. Still sad. I hope she’ll be able to finish her education and that the baby has a loving home and good care.

The OnlyFans girl is more disturbing to me. I think she’s at huge risk for early pregnancy, grooming, and abuse. Young children don’t sexualize themselves for money unless they’ve learned how from somewhere.