How many seventh graders are “dating”?

[Anonymous]

My oldest is in 5th grade so im not sure now, but I very clearly remember dating when I was in middle school. And I remember my friend giving a bj in 7th grade. It definitely gets physical at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in 7th and they are definitely “ dating”, which mainly consists of texting. I think it’s a way for them to figure out where they are in the social order right now.

+1. It’s a status/clout thing.

[Anonymous]

Dd is in 7th and has been “dating” a boy that goes to a different school for a couple of months now. No meet ups, just texting. Their mutual friends know about them being together. They see each other at sporting events but don’t talk.

[Anonymous]

Mine is. It is limited to email. They don’t even go to the same school or see each other outside of school more than maybe once every few weeks/months.

[Anonymous]

Some naïveté in this thread.

There is dating in middle school and yes some of them are physical by that age. It’s a minority. But don’t assume it’s all just texts and sharing sweatshirts.

I have a son who was early to puberty and he dated in middle school. Had first kiss in 7th grade and others were doing it (and more). I kept a super close eye on what he was doing. Definitely more girls who want to engage in all of it at that age but there are boys too.

[Anonymous]

At this point in the school year some 7th graders are 14.5. You all really think 14.5 year olds just text and don’t speak to each other when dating?

The more fake dating is usually 6th grade if middle school starts in 6th. Definitely some kids doing more real dating 14+.

[Anonymous]

Most kids in DS’ 7th grade class aren’t dating right now, except for the TikTok kids who want social clout. There’s a small group of about a dozen of them who have all tried and discarded each other like hats.

DS overheard one of them in the school bathroom boasting that he didn’t even care about his gf, he was just using her for popularity.

[Anonymous]

No, you are not 14.5 in 7th grade even if you redshirted. Most 7th graders are 13 at the end of the year, with maybe a handful of kids that have turned 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you are not 14.5 in 7th grade even if you redshirted. Most 7th graders are 13 at the end of the year, with maybe a handful of kids that have turned 14.

I am the person who wrote this and you are correct. Did my mental math wrong.

I still think some (minority of) 13.5 year olds are going to get physical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is in 5th grade so im not sure now, but I very clearly remember dating when I was in middle school. And I remember my friend giving a bj in 7th grade. It definitely gets physical at that age.

I was with a fast crowd in middle school, 30 years ago, and a few of them definitely had intercourse by 8th grade. But I think this is very unusual these days. Technology has somehow made kids more sheltered and less prone to doing more impulsive things. Parents can also track their kids better. I think the popular kids these days are still more susceptible to getting physical faster, but it is such a small minority of the population.

[Anonymous]

My dd had a boyfriend in each grade of MS.

Texting
Guy asking to be his GF
Texting
Texting
Getting together with parents around 1-3x over months.
Guys realizing it’s sort of dumb for their age, breaks up.

Then the drama comes a couple of months later, not at the breakup time.

Most my DD has done is hold hands one time with one of these guys. One guy watched a couple of movies with her and he was too nervous to “make a move” like arm around or kiss.

It’s all socially based. They all go back and report back to their same-gendered friends about what happened. My dd happens to be super confident, bold, outgoing, and that’s the only reason she was first. Now they’re all more confident since they’ve seen her.

Now in 8th, I could see one friend having a first kiss with one of these same boys.

I really loathed 1-2 of these guys. One was so cute with my kid, and .. really .. they all need to grow a few more years before they can handle any of this.

Last note, one of her friends in an unstable home, and a younger grade, has been in many “relationships.” And got caught doing physical acts with one of these boys. The changing home dynamic is putting her at risk for all of the worrisome stuff that my dd has been able to avoid.

So, it’s possible for kids to be doing sexual acts but most are not.

[Anonymous]

DS said 2 of his friends are dating.

[Anonymous]

There’s a girl in my son’s class who’s had an Only Fans since 5th grade, and one of the 7th graders last year got pregnant and had to drop out of school. So kids absolutely are doing sexual things at this age. Thankfully it’s a small minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd had a boyfriend in each grade of MS.

Texting
Guy asking to be his GF
Texting
Texting
Getting together with parents around 1-3x over months.
Guys realizing it’s sort of dumb for their age, breaks up.

Then the drama comes a couple of months later, not at the breakup time.

Most my DD has done is hold hands one time with one of these guys. One guy watched a couple of movies with her and he was too nervous to “make a move” like arm around or kiss.

It’s all socially based. They all go back and report back to their same-gendered friends about what happened. My dd happens to be super confident, bold, outgoing, and that’s the only reason she was first. Now they’re all more confident since they’ve seen her.

Now in 8th, I could see one friend having a first kiss with one of these same boys.

I really loathed 1-2 of these guys. One was so cute with my kid, and .. really .. they all need to grow a few more years before they can handle any of this.

Last note, one of her friends in an unstable home, and a younger grade, has been in many “relationships.” And got caught doing physical acts with one of these boys. The changing home dynamic is putting her at risk for all of the worrisome stuff that my dd has been able to avoid.

So, it’s possible for kids to be doing sexual acts but most are not.

How did you handle the relationship where you didn’t like the boys? Did you get involved/voiced your concerns or let her figure it out on her own?

[Anonymous]

DD, 13, is at a small private. A few students started dating in 6th and more in 7th, with both opposite gender and same/sex couples in the mix. Lots of breakups this spring and pressure among boys to be dating if others in their male friend group are dating, according to the boys she is friends with. Communication seems to happen mostly via text but a few couples do hangouts etc.