How many seventh graders are “dating”?

[Anonymous]

a lot of talk among girls who likes whom but only one girl dates. she has very briefly dated several boys.

the girls are definitively way ahead of the boys in this regard. DD gave me a lot of examples of girls "throwing themselves" at boys. boys seem pretty oblivious to that most of the time.

[Anonymous]

They have 8th grade dances and there are a lot of couples who are dating by then. My dd had a serious boyfriend in the 8th grade and 9th grade. I used to pick him up a lot to come over. Her friend group started in the 7th grade. That was the year they were cute. He’d buy her a necklace for her birthday. Come see her performances and bring flowers. After 7th grade it wasn’t so cute, you had to watch them constantly.

There was one girl who was beautiful and always had a boyfriend starting in 6th grade. She had the nastiest most judgmental mother who was always criticizing the other girls. At 18 she joined Onlyfans and makes quite a bit of money.

College age now and hopefully they make getter choices.

[Anonymous]

No one is dating in my daughter’s seventh grade class. They had a dance and was boys on one side and girls on other. This is private school so maybe they are a bit more sheltered.

[Anonymous]

My son is in 7th and they are definitely “ dating”, which mainly consists of texting. I think it’s a way for them to figure out where they are in the social order right now.

[Anonymous]

So my daughter REALLY likes this boy and it’s her first true crush. Both in 7th grade. She says he constantly looks at her and they chat in the hallways, walk to class together, they have been “shipped” together by their respective friend groups. The weird thing is DD recently got his number from a friend and texted him and he only responds with one word texts like “cool” or “okay” - like really zero interest from him if you’re judging by only the texts. But in person she is certain that he likes her because of how he talks to her and looks at her. She’s like “do I just come straight out and ask him if he likes me?” and I don’t know what advice to give her.
She’s pretty bold and goes for what she wants but I don’t want her to be devastated if he’s like “um, no.” I also don’t want to be that old fashioned mom who is like “wait for the boy to ask you out.” Ugh- dating these days seems sooooo much harder than back when I did it.
Any advice here, fellow moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have 8th grade dances and there are a lot of couples who are dating by then. My dd had a serious boyfriend in the 8th grade and 9th grade. I used to pick him up a lot to come over. Her friend group started in the 7th grade. That was the year they were cute. He’d buy her a necklace for her birthday. Come see her performances and bring flowers. After 7th grade it wasn’t so cute, you had to watch them constantly.

There was one girl who was beautiful and always had a boyfriend starting in 6th grade. She had the nastiest most judgmental mother who was always criticizing the other girls. At 18 she joined Onlyfans and makes quite a bit of money.

College age now and hopefully they make getter choices.

Cute but sounds a little too serious for 7th grade. It doesn’t surprise me things escalated quickly.

[Anonymous]

It’s dating in name only. Some never even talk to each other. They don’t hang out at the mall. They don’t even text or talk on the phone. They just tell everyone they are a “couple”. But they are not really a couple. It’s what they do in middle school.

[Anonymous]

My DD dated in seventh grade. Most of them last a couple of days to a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

The boy will give the girl his sweatshirt and they are a couple for a few days or a few week and then break up. It’s middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have 8th grade dances and there are a lot of couples who are dating by then. My dd had a serious boyfriend in the 8th grade and 9th grade. I used to pick him up a lot to come over. Her friend group started in the 7th grade. That was the year they were cute. He’d buy her a necklace for her birthday. Come see her performances and bring flowers. After 7th grade it wasn’t so cute, you had to watch them constantly.

There was one girl who was beautiful and always had a boyfriend starting in 6th grade. She had the nastiest most judgmental mother who was always criticizing the other girls. At 18 she joined Onlyfans and makes quite a bit of money.

College age now and hopefully they make getter choices.

Cute but sounds a little too serious for 7th grade. It doesn’t surprise me things escalated quickly.

His mom bought the flowers and necklaces I’m sure. There was a big difference between 7th and 8th grade when the boys really matured physically. Her group of friends were mixed boys and girls. It wasn’t easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter REALLY likes this boy and it’s her first true crush. Both in 7th grade. She says he constantly looks at her and they chat in the hallways, walk to class together, they have been “shipped” together by their respective friend groups. The weird thing is DD recently got his number from a friend and texted him and he only responds with one word texts like “cool” or “okay” - like really zero interest from him if you’re judging by only the texts. But in person she is certain that he likes her because of how he talks to her and looks at her. She’s like “do I just come straight out and ask him if he likes me?” and I don’t know what advice to give her.
She’s pretty bold and goes for what she wants but I don’t want her to be devastated if he’s like “um, no.” I also don’t want to be that old fashioned mom who is like “wait for the boy to ask you out.” Ugh- dating these days seems sooooo much harder than back when I did it.
Any advice here, fellow moms?

I think rather than advice about what you think she should do, you empathize, like you are here, about how it's hard. And talk through scenarios to practice making decisions. "What are some possibilities for what might happen if you ask him that?" "What are the potential benefits?" "What are the potential risks?"

And you can explain that many kids that age aren't ready for a dating relationship. Sometimes a crush is enjoyable without pushing it for more.

[Anonymous]

AM in 6th grade and yes people are dating a lot like holding hands and kissing also its likely for 7th and 6th graders to date

[Anonymous]

My eighth grade daughter had her first boyfriend last year in seventh grade. It lasted three months and all it was was texting and the occasional hanging out. There was nothing physical, except hugs and handholding. Now my eighth grader is in her second relationship and she has already had her first kiss within one week of dating him. The difference between seventh grade and eighth grade for boys is huge maturity wise, they seemed like babies still in seventh grade and now my daughter seems to be in what I would consider more of a high school relationship in eighth grade. He tells her he loves her and asks her out on formal dates. Both of them are almost 15, so they are on the older end of eighth grade.

[Anonymous]

My daughter just had her first kiss in eighth grade and she is the first of her entire large friend group, so I think it’s pretty uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems all the girls in seventh grade want to start dating. I know very few boys who are at that stage. How many seventh grade couples do you know of? I know this basically means they’re just calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and they only communicate over text and there are no real dates or physical contact. But, I find it hard to believe many seventh grade boys are really even interested in that level of “dating.” The girls seem way ahead of the boys in this regard.

Probably 25%.
If counting the bolded part, that's probably 50% of kids from Kindergarten and older. It's not really "dating" though unless they are going out together in person. Most kids just call that "going out".

Kids are like "You wanna go out?" "Sure". Announce at lunch they are a couple, even though they often don't sit together. Girls ask about the bf and giggle in a group, while the boys all tease the new stud with the new "gf". Some things never change.

Once they start driving, then they can actually date like adults.