Received a present from family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect there have been other times you’ve had to compromise. Use those skills here.

Be sure first that everyone has an opportunity to express their feelings.

He said he likes them. Have you said what you think of them?

Op here. They’re cheaply made with an ugly design pattern. As we were opening them, he became so excited thinking his sister is so generous. I…didn’t say anything as I did not like them!

Ugh. I’d really rather throw them away!

You probably don't like her?? This is how I would react if I didn't like the person or didn't want their "stuff" in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lady, if that’s the biggest of your problems, consider yourself fortunate.

Did we read the same post? I don't see where op said this is her biggest problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eating off of dishes you dislike three times a day is nerve wracking. Do you like your SIL? Is it possible to exchange them for something you both like? Choosing a dish pattern is very personal, like a pocketbook. Odd present choice.

Yeah agree. You shouldn’t be forced to use dish ware you don’t like. It’s your home for godsakes. Maybe make them your “breakfast” dishes if your DH insists on using them. He should defer to whatever you decide, TBH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new daughter in law was so excited to share her large set of dishes with me because the set was too large for her , and she loved the thought of us having the same set . The dishes are not my style, but it was such a beautiful sentiment that I happily accepted and use them all the time, especially she is here.

Having that connection with her is much more important to me than the style of my dishes

Except that's not what happened to OP.

[Anonymous]

OP - I feel you. My SIL is also rude to me and acts fake nice which leaves me with DH loving the shitty gifts she sends mostly for our kids. I’d give away the plates. It’s a weird gift regardless as dinnerware is more personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your husband that the person who prepares dinner gets to choose the plates.

Definitely this.

Does your sil often do things to cause issues? Because buying cheap ugly plates is definitely intentional.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you just be nice about the plates your husband’s sister gave your family, when it obviously makes your husband happy? Be nicer.

[Anonymous]

I'd throw them out/donate them. Who needs ugly clutter like that?

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe how many people are telling OP to suck it up and use ugly dishes picked out by a person she doesn’t like! Dishes are something the couple should pick out together. Presumedly, you had a set before that both people were okay with, and didn’t need another. Or if for some reason DH didn’t like the old set of dishes, you could have picked something else out together. This is so strange, it would be like someone picking out a bedspread or piece of furniture - you shouldn’t have to use something you don’t like every single day!!

Leave one plate for him and he can eat off of that. Leave the others in a box in a closet or something, and pull them out when she comes over.

My MIL gave me a hideous clock as a gift once. She sent me a picture and asked if I liked it and I said it wasn’t my taste and we didn’t have a place for it. She got it for me anyway, and it went to Goodwill. Don’t pick out essential household items unless you know exactly what the person likes!

[Anonymous]

I get it OP, that's why we do no gifts and just enjoy without the expense and insanity of it all. Dishes are personal. It's not a great gift, just like large artwork, clothing, etc. Your house, your dishes. If you husband loves them so much, maybe just have a set or 2 in the cabinet he can use when he makes himself a snack or a meal. He really should not insist they be the main dishes because you and he decide that TOGETHER.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, this sounds like something my SIL would do. She gave us something this year that I hate but my husband insists that we display prominently in our home. I've finally convinced him to keep it in a different room. I know you can't do that with dishes, but perhaps you can convince him to use them only for lunch or only for special occasions or only when his family is in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you just be nice about the plates your husband’s sister gave your family, when it obviously makes your husband happy? Be nicer.

And where do you expect OP to put them? Some people just buy stuff for the pleasure of shopping or it's what they think would be nice in your apt or house. Nicest is respecting boundaries not loading other's peoples residences with stuff.

What's next? SIL chooses lamps? Bedding? 10 years later there could be 10 times the crap loaded into OPs house.

[Anonymous]

I've been looking for plates for two years. There is absolutely no way I would use plates I don't like 3x a day. Tell your husband you don't like them. Use your words and ask if you can find something you both like.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds awful. Mine would never care what plates we ate off of unless they were dirty or something. He certainly wouldn’t pick his sister over me.

Since he seems to think these dishes are something special, find them online and show him how cheap they really are. He seems to be the type of person who would be swayed by that. Then show him your dishes and how they are more expensive and better made.

If he still wants to use them all the time, then switch off every meal. You do need to compromise and not be controlling. But he also can’t be controlling.

Next gift giving holiday, get your SIL some cheap dishes as a gift.

[Anonymous]

Up your petty game and keep one plate for him, and donate the rest, OP.