Received a present from family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I agree with you OP. You should get to use the dishes you choose and prefer in your own home.

I think you might need to box them up and put them in the garage or basement or attic. Hopefully dh will just leave them there. Then dispose of after some time.

If he insists on keeping them in the house...oops, sorry I dropped a few on the floor!

Shouldn't the husband also be able to choose? I agree that it sucks to have dishes you hate in your home, but I don't think it's unfair that the DH get to use the dishes his sister gave. Eventually the novelty will wear off, they'll get chipped or broken or just disappear to the goodwill a couple at a time.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you post a pic of the dishes? I'm dying to see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eating off of dishes you dislike three times a day is nerve wracking. Do you like your SIL? Is it possible to exchange them for something you both like? Choosing a dish pattern is very personal, like a pocketbook. Odd present choice.

Nerve wracking? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect there have been other times you’ve had to compromise. Use those skills here.

Be sure first that everyone has an opportunity to express their feelings.

He said he likes them. Have you said what you think of them?

Op here. They’re cheaply made with an ugly design pattern. As we were opening them, he became so excited thinking his sister is so generous. I…didn’t say anything as I did not like them!

Ugh. I’d really rather throw them away!

Slowly break them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eating off of dishes you dislike three times a day is nerve wracking. Do you like your SIL? Is it possible to exchange them for something you both like? Choosing a dish pattern is very personal, like a pocketbook. Odd present choice.

I am amazed that some families eat together three times a day. We’re lucky if it’s one during the week and two on a weekend. OP can use her dishes when she is t eating with her husband.

The novelty will wear off as will the intensity of you feelings towards dishes. Give it time. It is hard to believe it’s a hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

I think the dish giving is symbolic of sister’s attempt to maintain her presence/control in your husbands life. She sounds like a very jealous SIL. Her gift is a constant reminder to both of you of her existence and she Probably knows damn well it will cause stress and drive a wedge between you. Jealous people
spend a lot of mental energy in giving passive aggressive gifts. My lovely (sarcastic) SIL
fave me baby clothes for my birthday when I was pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Keep a place setting out for him and box up the rest. You can use the old dishes.

[Anonymous]

He likes them and they’re from his family. You keep the dishes. Assume the situation were reversed? You’d be pissed if he threw something away you liked that you got as a gift.
Get over the plate design. Compromise on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We received a set of dishes from SIL for Christmas. It was a really sweet thought but I kind of…hate them?

They just aren’t my personal style and not something I’d ever buy for our home. My husband loved them and insists on using them at every meal time, I set the table yesterday with our old dishes for dinner and he was upset saying he wanted the dishes his sister got him, he got up and swapped his plate!


WWYD?

They are dishes! How old are you children because children break a lot of things.

[Anonymous]

Strange gift, but seriously-how bad can they be?

I’d use them for family meals (who cares?) but use ones you like when hosting guests. Well, unless it is SIL/DH’s side of the family. Ha.

As other have said, they will probably get chipped and broken soon enough anyway, if you have young kids. If I really hated the dishes that much, I might be…..not so careful, here and there. To speed things along. 😂

Just use them for now. Sounds like it is important to DH. Not worth making an issue of.

[Anonymous]

Can you use both sets of dishes every other day? Then you both get to enjoy the ones you like better equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating off of dishes you dislike three times a day is nerve wracking. Do you like your SIL? Is it possible to exchange them for something you both like? Choosing a dish pattern is very personal, like a pocketbook. Odd present choice.

Op here. No, she ha historically bullied me and puts me down. I find it a little insulting that she’d get us a set of cheap dishware. My husband is oblivious and thinks his sister is the sweetest.

I’d never buy anyone dishware unless they included it in their registry or it was a fancy set they’d never buy other own. Now I’m stuck with an ugly set I don’t have space for or need.

SIL sounds like a pill. Pay her back with tacky drinking glasses. Make it a family joke - who can gift the best subtly insulting household good.

[Anonymous]

Keep one setting for him and donate the rest. You have a set of dishes, right?

[Anonymous]

Op, I understand. Dishes seem like an afterthought but they are things we interact with every day. If you have a negative association with them, it could be annoying to see them over and over.

That being said, pp made a good point about thinking how you'd feel if you were excited about a family gift and DH said, Nope! I'd try to find a way to get past this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lady, if that’s the biggest of your problems, consider yourself fortunate.

Haha! Thanks for the laugh. I am in agreement with you!