What other options are there for adults beyond dating?

[Anonymous]

Swingers clubs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unusual and not welcome by dcum solution: adopt a 5 yo child at 50yo. A girl, preferably, who has a good attention span and is kind. Ignore her cuteness and race. Girls are great companions in aye 50s -60s for their moms while growing up and even through college. Then you’ll have grand children to visit. A real family.

I’m dating but have myself a deadline : if not partnered by 50 I’ll adopt

What a selfish motive but anyway they don’t let 50 yo single women adopt

My grandmother adopted some kids when she was older. I think she thought she was helping these orphaned girls. Guess the motive matters.

I don’t think fostering or adopting to have a family or companionship is necessarily wrong. I’m still busy with my own 3 kids but I have mentioned adoption to DH and he said no. If I was a widow one day, I absolutely would foster or adopt.

It was customary since Ancient Rome for wealthy women who are windowed or otherwise left unmarried in older age to adopt. Much safer and stable economically from wealth preservation standpoint than remarrying in older age

How does that preserve wealth? The money goes to the adopted child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meant to say ability as the 3rd reason. I think an older women who is still healthy is a very good person to take on a foster child or adopt and older child. Most of these kids just stay in a foster care system if no one will take on their care.

+1 this is so true or adopting a child who's not a newborn. If you can provide a good life, why does it matter that part of the reason is companionship and potential grandkids?

Exactly especially since those are the primary reasons people give for getting pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any five year old available for adoption is not going to be an easy adoptee. Especially to someone with no parenting experience

Sadly, this is true. There’s going to be significant trauma.

I don’t know, a dear friend of mine adopted a 10 year old out of foster care and I am surprised at how “normal” (for lack of a better word) the kid is. Of course there’s trauma in the background, but it seems like the adoptive parents have a strong enough will to work through it in a loving way.

Granted, I don’t know the full picture, but from what I see and what my friend tells me, it’s a very positive experience. They’re a gay couple with a boy child if it matters.

Get back to us in 10 years. You may be aware of a unicorn. Most fostered children in the United States are extremely high needs.

Another option is to adopt from a place with orphanages, like Romania

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unusual and not welcome by dcum solution: adopt a 5 yo child at 50yo. A girl, preferably, who has a good attention span and is kind. Ignore her cuteness and race. Girls are great companions in aye 50s -60s for their moms while growing up and even through college. Then you’ll have grand children to visit. A real family.

I’m dating but have myself a deadline : if not partnered by 50 I’ll adopt

Yes. This. Adopt a child. Then you can be sure you can guilt her into being your care taker when she is an adult. Take as old as time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Co-housing.

My friends live in a co-housing building in Canada and it is amazing. They have their own condo, but the building has amazing shared living spaces including a massive kitchen and there are always people around if you want company. They have communal dinners 3x a week, trade dog walking or babysitting, share their cars if needed, etc. It was really lovely. It reminded me of living in a college dorm (with less drunk people.)

They have the same thing in Europe (I think Belgium or Switzerland, can’t remember but it was a French-speaking area-saw a documentary on it). Each person has their own small condo but meals are communal where everyone sits at big tables to eat dinner together (the cooking is done on a rotating basis). Everyone looks out for each other and they all seem very happy.

Yes. This was my version of the 50 and older community.

Sign me up.

Right? There has to be a market for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unusual and not welcome by dcum solution: adopt a 5 yo child at 50yo. A girl, preferably, who has a good attention span and is kind. Ignore her cuteness and race. Girls are great companions in aye 50s -60s for their moms while growing up and even through college. Then you’ll have grand children to visit. A real family.

I’m dating but have myself a deadline : if not partnered by 50 I’ll adopt

What a selfish motive but anyway they don’t let 50 yo single women adopt

My grandmother adopted some kids when she was older. I think she thought she was helping these orphaned girls. Guess the motive matters.

I don’t think fostering or adopting to have a family or companionship is necessarily wrong. I’m still busy with my own 3 kids but I have mentioned adoption to DH and he said no. If I was a widow one day, I absolutely would foster or adopt.

It was customary since Ancient Rome for wealthy women who are windowed or otherwise left unmarried in older age to adopt. Much safer and stable economically from wealth preservation standpoint than remarrying in older age

How does that preserve wealth? The money goes to the adopted child.

It goes to YOUR child no matter adopted or bio. You have many years to raise this child, connect with them, guve a good education and transfer your knowledge and skills. This child will have higher chances of remaining your close relative when you are old, providing social support network. I don’t mean the financial support, I don’t need it. But with men it’s super flaky, dependent on their whim and availability if their options. Men are poor companions when women are 50-60 and still active. A growing child, even somewhat difficult, is a much better companion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unusual and not welcome by dcum solution: adopt a 5 yo child at 50yo. A girl, preferably, who has a good attention span and is kind. Ignore her cuteness and race. Girls are great companions in aye 50s -60s for their moms while growing up and even through college. Then you’ll have grand children to visit. A real family.

I’m dating but have myself a deadline : if not partnered by 50 I’ll adopt

Yes. This. Adopt a child. Then you can be sure you can guilt her into being your care taker when she is an adult. Take as old as time!

Then nobody should birth children either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any five year old available for adoption is not going to be an easy adoptee. Especially to someone with no parenting experience

Sadly, this is true. There’s going to be significant trauma.

I don’t know, a dear friend of mine adopted a 10 year old out of foster care and I am surprised at how “normal” (for lack of a better word) the kid is. Of course there’s trauma in the background, but it seems like the adoptive parents have a strong enough will to work through it in a loving way.

Granted, I don’t know the full picture, but from what I see and what my friend tells me, it’s a very positive experience. They’re a gay couple with a boy child if it matters.

Get back to us in 10 years. You may be aware of a unicorn. Most fostered children in the United States are extremely high needs.

Another option is to adopt from a place with orphanages, like Romania

Those regions have children with complex PTSD and medical issues.

We adopted DS as a young teen. He was technically in foster care less than a year, but he spent a decade shuffled from relative to relative. It took two years for his emotional issues to emerge. He is sweet and not a behavioral issue at all, but he is very anxious and insecure in his attachments. It is a lot of work to address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any five year old available for adoption is not going to be an easy adoptee. Especially to someone with no parenting experience

Sadly, this is true. There’s going to be significant trauma.

I don’t know, a dear friend of mine adopted a 10 year old out of foster care and I am surprised at how “normal” (for lack of a better word) the kid is. Of course there’s trauma in the background, but it seems like the adoptive parents have a strong enough will to work through it in a loving way.

Granted, I don’t know the full picture, but from what I see and what my friend tells me, it’s a very positive experience. They’re a gay couple with a boy child if it matters.

Get back to us in 10 years. You may be aware of a unicorn. Most fostered children in the United States are extremely high needs.

Another option is to adopt from a place with orphanages, like Romania

Those regions have children with complex PTSD and medical issues.

We adopted DS as a young teen. He was technically in foster care less than a year, but he spent a decade shuffled from relative to relative. It took two years for his emotional issues to emerge. He is sweet and not a behavioral issue at all, but he is very anxious and insecure in his attachments. It is a lot of work to address.

My own biological son required a lot of psychiatric help after divorce due to exH abuse. Still had to shuttle back and forth.

[Anonymous]

Several of my female friends have spoken about fostering or adopting older children.