Where would YOU say DD is from?

[Anonymous]

This is so unimportant. Op, you are sounding very provincial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so unimportant. Op, you are sounding very provincial.

Bizarre post. This is a common question. Sometimes it's a straightforward question and answer and sometimes it's not, for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was born in Fairfax, lived in Ashburn for 9 years, moved to DC for 4 years and is now moving to Roanoke where my family is from. I lived in DC for over 20 years prior to moving to Northern Virginia and back to DC. She’s asked us where does she say that she is from when she moves to Roanoke. Her dad says she is from Roanoke because my family roots are from Roanoke. His reference point is that he says Ghana when asked where he is from though he was born in America. I would say she could say she’s from Virginia (Northern Virginia) but lived in DC for 3 years. FWIW I still say I am from DC.

She lived in Ashburn for the longest so that's where she is from. Technically, she was born in a Fairfax town so that goes on legal papers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if your husband was born here he is not "from Ghana"

I am 100% Race Indian, but not from India, born in USA. Race and where you are from are 2 different things.

Op here. Thanks PP. I know a few people like yourself and a few like him. From his perspective he’s the only American born child and his parents came to the U.S. just over a year or two before he was born. But all of the relatives outside of his immediate family are back in Ghana. I’ve noticed people often ask where our last name origins are from and for him, that includes his first name.

he never lived in Ghana, right? he is not from Ghana. since he hasn't sorted his own situation, he is not a good person person to advise your daughter on this topic.

This^. If he is born and raised in America, his is from Ghana?

[Anonymous]

*how is he from Ghana?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if your husband was born here he is not "from Ghana"

I am 100% Race Indian, but not from India, born in USA. Race and where you are from are 2 different things.

Op here. Thanks PP. I know a few people like yourself and a few like him. From his perspective he’s the only American born child and his parents came to the U.S. just over a year or two before he was born. But all of the relatives outside of his immediate family are back in Ghana. I’ve noticed people often ask where our last name origins are from and for him, that includes his first name.

No one thinks that you can be from a country you weren’t born in and never lived in except for your husband.

And racists who assume you are from somewhere else because of your inherited looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if your husband was born here he is not "from Ghana"

I am 100% Race Indian, but not from India, born in USA. Race and where you are from are 2 different things.

Op here. Thanks PP. I know a few people like yourself and a few like him. From his perspective he’s the only American born child and his parents came to the U.S. just over a year or two before he was born. But all of the relatives outside of his immediate family are back in Ghana. I’ve noticed people often ask where our last name origins are from and for him, that includes his first name.

No one thinks that you can be from a country you weren’t born in and never lived in except for your husband.

Well, as an Asian American who has been asked countless times, "Where are you REALLY from?" - let me assure you that plenty of people (mostly older White people) think that Asian Americans are from countries we weren't born in and have never lived in.
My experience is extremely common among Asian Americans. This is why the phrase "forever foreigner" was coined - from the perspective of many White people, Asian Americans are assumed to have come from a country other than the USA, even though my family has lived in California since the Gold Rush.

+1000

I’m half-Asian, half-White, born in the US, have had family here for centuries on my White side. I am “ambiguously ethnic’ as I look like I could be from about 4-5 different ethnic backgrounds, and I have a name that is not immediately categorizable as the ‘type’ of Asian I am.

Those of us who fall into this category (e.g., most likely OP’s husband, the PP here) get this question all the time. A lot of us can tell what people are REALLY asking - which is sometimes genuine curiosity but also sometimes ‘why do you not look “American” (and maybe have a funny name) but sound American?’ And the latter is typically from older White Americans.

Anyway - your daughter should just say “DC area” and if pressed when in Roanoke “DC area, but my dad grew up in Roanoke and we still have family here”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was born in Fairfax, lived in Ashburn for 9 years, moved to DC for 4 years and is now moving to Roanoke where my family is from. I lived in DC for over 20 years prior to moving to Northern Virginia and back to DC. She’s asked us where does she say that she is from when she moves to Roanoke. Her dad says she is from Roanoke because my family roots are from Roanoke. His reference point is that he says Ghana when asked where he is from though he was born in America. I would say she could say she’s from Virginia (Northern Virginia) but lived in DC for 3 years. FWIW I still say I am from DC.

Why would your dh tell her to say Roanoke bc your family roots are there? Shouldn’t she also say Ghana bc his family roots are there? Neither makes sense for her.

She can say NoVa or DC area like the pp’s said.

She can say that she has family in both Roanoke and Ghana if she feels it is relevant.

Your dh is from wherever he grew up but he can say his family is Ghanaian. Just like someone can say I grew up in [name of US city] but my family is Irish/Italian/Polish. Although most people would likely not get that detailed.

Good luck to your dd - it isn’t clear if you and your dh are also moving.

People may also

[Anonymous]

Our ancestors were from one country, grandparents and parents were born and raised in another country, we were raised in another, our kids were born in US but raised in US, Europe and Mexico due to job transfers. In US, they were born in one state but mostly lived in another state, attended college and grad schools in two different states. I wonder how should they answer it? They name the state where they lived the longest and attended high school.

[Anonymous]

*though their birth certificates say the name of the town of the hospital where they were born, even at that time we lived in another town, 15 minutes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if your husband was born here he is not "from Ghana"

I am 100% Race Indian, but not from India, born in USA. Race and where you are from are 2 different things.

+1 If he’s answering the “where are you from” question with Ghana he’s just giving into the ignorant people who ask that type of question to anyone who looks “different” from what an American “should” look like in their opinion. I grew up in the US, never lived in S Asia where my parents are from and would never say I’m from another country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if your husband was born here he is not "from Ghana"

I am 100% Race Indian, but not from India, born in USA. Race and where you are from are 2 different things.

Op here. Thanks PP. I know a few people like yourself and a few like him. From his perspective he’s the only American born child and his parents came to the U.S. just over a year or two before he was born. But all of the relatives outside of his immediate family are back in Ghana. I’ve noticed people often ask where our last name origins are from and for him, that includes his first name.

No one thinks that you can be from a country you weren’t born in and never lived in except for your husband.

Well, as an Asian American who has been asked countless times, "Where are you REALLY from?" - let me assure you that plenty of people (mostly older White people) think that Asian Americans are from countries we weren't born in and have never lived in.
My experience is extremely common among Asian Americans. This is why the phrase "forever foreigner" was coined - from the perspective of many White people, Asian Americans are assumed to have come from a country other than the USA, even though my family has lived in California since the Gold Rush.

Thank you! I am American born as are my children. I am often asked where I am really from. How I answer depends entirely on how I am feeling. I may say “really from Florida” over and over until they stop asking. Sometimes I just want to be done with the conversation and will insert “my parents immigrated from xyz”.

[Anonymous]

"I was raised in VA outside DC and then moved to Roanoke".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kids in her school ask, I’d assume she’d say she just moved there from DC. She’s a kid, that’s where most of her memories are from at this point and what she probably considers home.

When she goes to college and people ask where she’s from she’ll probably say Roanoke by that point.

I lived in NY til I was 15, then lived in PA until college. When people ask where I’m from (meaning as in hometown) I say I grew up in NY and PA.

+1. Context matters.

I grew up in Illinois but have lived in this area for 30yrs. Depending on the context, such as if I'm on vacation elsewhere, I'll say I'm from the DC area or outside DC. If I'm making small talk at a party here in the DMV and someone asked where I was from I'd say that I originally grew up in Illinois but have lived here since college.

Don't over-think it.

[Anonymous]

"Virginia"

And the "Where are you from" question is different than "where is your family from."

I am from the US. DC area, more specifically. My family/parents were from X and Y countries.