No one thinks that you can be from a country you weren’t born in and never lived in except for your husband. |
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I run into this problem all the time. The question is different based on who is being asked.
When people ask your husband where he is from, they want to know his country of origin/ethnicity. When they ask your daughter (I assume you are white), they want to know where she grew up/spent her formative years. |
| Virginia |
I went to college with quite a few people born and raised in Jersey, Philly and NYC who would say they were from Italy, DR or Puerto Rico having never been outside the city. Some had parents born in the States. It would be the ggg grandparent who was actually living in Italy and came thru Ellis Island. |
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Is this a joke?
Your daughter has basically lived within 2 states her whole life. That is hardly anything to lose an identity over. You say “Virginia and DC” to locals or “DC area” for anyone else. Signed, someone who has lived in multiple states and countries. |
| She can say whatever she wants. It’s not a clear question and it’s often malicious. There’s not one right answer. |
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Op's husband is a second-generation Ghanaian.
I grew up a military brat. I was born in state A. Moved to country B at age 3 until 8. Moved back to state A from 8-12. Moved to state C from 12-15. Moved to state D from 15-20. Lived in State E from 20-now (aged 52). I've lived in state E longer than anywhere else, but I never went to school here, so it feels weird to say I'm from here. When people ask, I say that I was born in state A but lived there two different times for only a total of 7 years. And then I'll add that I've lived in my current state for over 30 years. |
Well, as an Asian American who has been asked countless times, "Where are you REALLY from?" - let me assure you that plenty of people (mostly older White people) think that Asian Americans are from countries we weren't born in and have never lived in. My experience is extremely common among Asian Americans. This is why the phrase "forever foreigner" was coined - from the perspective of many White people, Asian Americans are assumed to have come from a country other than the USA, even though my family has lived in California since the Gold Rush. |
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She can say she moved to Roanoke from DC or she can say she's from the DC area.
If they’re actually asking about her race/ethnic background, she can say she's from the DC area, but her mom grew up in Roanoke, and her dad grew up in X area but his family is from Ghana. |
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Your 8th grader can tell people in high school that she's from Northern VA. It doesn't matter what part or the years she technically lived in DC.
If they are asking in a racist way due to making assumptions that she's non-American, she should still tell them Northern VA and should not go into where her paternal grandparents are from. It just feeds into othering people from families that recently immigrated. |
His country of origin is the US. And OP’s daughter is from the DC area. Why is this so complicated? |
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OP, I am half European and half Asian. I spent my childhood in multiple different countries. I moved as an adult to the US. When people ask where I'm from, now that's an interesting conversation. The difference between VA and DC is... negligible. She's American, with a father originally from Ghana. She can tell people whatever she wants. No one apart from DC area people will care between VA and DC, for goodness' sakes! |
Me again. All my life people have asked, out of curiosity. I am proud of my origins. Your daughter should be too, and I bet your husband is, since he identifies as being from Ghana. One's personal identification is important. There are no hard and fast rules. I have an international family and most of my friends are international: we all understand that you can have a birthplace that is different from your cultural roots, which can be different from your nationalities! |
| For now I’d still say she’s from the DC area. What your husband is suggesting makes no sense if shes answering the question locally…people will wonder why they e never seen her before. In time she may choose to replace “dc area” with Roanoke, or not. We moved halfway across the country and my kids sometimes say they are from the city they were born in or sometimes say the DC area |
| I usually say, I live in DC but I grew up in [state]. |