Why wouldn’t my mother allow me to nap when I was sick?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was raised by an unloving parent

This is true, she was. But she was otherwise very loving to me, at times to the point of enmeshment.

Her parents were probably very hostile to her when she was sick, telling her to suck it up and refusing to care for her. When she saw you sick, it triggered these memories and brought out the unkindness shed experienced.

As a parent raised by abusive/neglectful parents, sometimes it's surprising what triggers that stuff. For me, when my DD is sick and starts sniffling (instead of blowing her nose) I have to give myself breaks or let DH handle so I don't snap at her. When I did that as a child, my sister would hit me in anger about it and my mom would back her up (while my dad was nowhere to be seen). So even though I totally get why she does this (and did it myself), I have this instinctual response to get very angry and annoyed by it.

Parenting when you are from that background is a constant process of unlearning terrible lessons you learned as a very small child. It's like what you are going through with napping while sick, but for everything. It's hard.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she didn't really believe you were sick. Also, my mom was always angry when I came home sick because it was an imposition on her activities. Probably that.

[Anonymous]

Why did your dad not intervene?

[Anonymous]

It's because she hates herself and used you as a puppet for her wishes.

[Anonymous]

This is such a sad thread.