Why wouldn’t my mother allow me to nap when I was sick?

[Anonymous]

Would she ever nap if sick ?

[Anonymous]

My 99 year old grandmother just got over an illness and complained that it made her so tired that she wanted to sleep during the day. She refused to sleep when it wasn’t time and insisted that keeping to a schedule helps beat illness. Maybe OP’s mom felt similar?

[Anonymous]

Sleeping during the day was seen as being lazy. Being sick usually gets you a reprieve from that judgement but, in your mother's case, she could not get past it. Were her parents hard-driving people who witnessed deprivation in their families?

[Anonymous]

Where's the blame on your DAD?
Was he just a passive bystander? Why not reserve some of your anger at him?

[Anonymous]

No idea, but doesn’t seem like anything to dwell on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea, but doesn’t seem like anything to dwell on.

Yes weird to still get annoyed by it. She probably didn’t want you up all night because you napped in the afternoon. I doubt it was because she didn’t love you

[Anonymous]

My mom was the same. I am a high sleep needs person and probably have some sort of ADD sleep related issues where I shut down after going going going and need sleep.

She never let me nap or sleep in on weekends even when we had no where to be.

I believe with my Mom it was some weird resentment which she still has for me. Now, even as an adult, if I sleep late or nap or have a lazy day in bed I feel so guilty.

[Anonymous]

Ask her.

[Anonymous]

Some people cannot rest or slow down. My dad was like this. I always felt guilty if I doing something productive. He was in constant motion and always busy. I am over it though! If your husband is cool with it, that's great. Mine is too.

[Anonymous]

Was not doing something productive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea, but doesn’t seem like anything to dwell on.

Very strange for you to be focused on this, OP.

[Anonymous]

My mother was the same. Would never let me sleep past 8 am on weekends and napping meant I was lazy. So ridiculous considering my mother was popping Librium like candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was raised by an unloving parent

This is true, she was. But she was otherwise very loving to me, at times to the point of enmeshment.

That's dysfunction, not an expression of love.

[Anonymous]

She thought you were at risk for depression and/or didn’t want you to stay up late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I’m currently sick and being lazy, napping. I always feel guilty when I do, even when my husband sweetly tucks me in, brings me tea in bed, etc. Napping is normal and healthy when sick. So why didn’t my mother allow it?

When I would come home from school sick and would want to nap, my mother would get angry and tell me, “You’re not going to just nap all evening.” Not because I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, not because there were things to do, just… because. So I would get up and watch TV, or read, or sit in the living room. All idle things. But I couldn’t nap.

I’ve always wondered what her motivation was. I wasn’t missing homework or work/chores or extracurriculars. She just wouldn’t allow napping, but gave no reasons. I would ask her, but I cannot. So as I lay and ponder, I thought I’d ask here. Does anyone know?

[/b]

Obviously from you wrote and how you did: different cultures. give it up and move on