Help me prop my DD up tonight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

Not being there means they will not be able to audition for the spring program. Director: “it’s in the handbook, we can’t make exceptions for one person or we would have to make an exception for everyone.”

I think that’s ultimately more responsible than other activities she’s been involved in that had multiple sets of rules depending on if you were a favorite, but still- this is no fun. One hour until she needs to make a final choice.

Yes, in my experience orchestra directors are hard core about showing up no matter what, provided hospitalization isn't required. The recital comprises the majority of their grade. If she can rally, medicated, I think it's okay to send her if her covid test is negative. But please ensure she is wearing an excellent high-quality mask and washes/sanitizes her hands before touching anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

Not being there means they will not be able to audition for the spring program. Director: “it’s in the handbook, we can’t make exceptions for one person or we would have to make an exception for everyone.”

I think that’s ultimately more responsible than other activities she’s been involved in that had multiple sets of rules depending on if you were a favorite, but still- this is no fun. One hour until she needs to make a final choice.

Yes, in my experience orchestra directors are hard core about showing up no matter what, provided hospitalization isn't required. The recital comprises the majority of their grade. If she can rally, medicated, I think it's okay to send her if her covid test is negative. But please ensure she is wearing an excellent high-quality mask and washes/sanitizes her hands before touching anything.

Who wants their kid to be a part of an organization like that? Truly bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Real Sudafed
Tylenol
Motrin
Pediasure

[Anonymous]

Oh my. So spitting into an instrument and spreading all the germs just before the holidays? Lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

You are the parent. You make the choice. Sometimes that means making a choice that is at odds with the choices of other adults in her life. That's parenting. She can be mad. That's being the kid.

If you accept being "set up to make bad decisions" by another adult, you're not really adulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

Not being there means they will not be able to audition for the spring program. Director: “it’s in the handbook, we can’t make exceptions for one person or we would have to make an exception for everyone.”

I think that’s ultimately more responsible than other activities she’s been involved in that had multiple sets of rules depending on if you were a favorite, but still- this is no fun. One hour until she needs to make a final choice.

Talk to them. Making everyone sick is horrible.

[Anonymous]

You are a total a hole op but you know this already. Karma's coming for you. Let's hope some other a hole doesn't take your nanna out.

[Anonymous]

You are full of it op all you have to do is make a phone call and say you think she's contagious and can't be there. put your big girl panties on. Liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 TB ACV in a bottle of water every 3 hours. Add a drop of iodine if you have the edible kind (not the drug store kind, that’s poisonous).

Ice pack on back of neck, Can even stuff one in her bra during the concert if she’s really feeling terrible.

Eating ice chips Can help too, maybe a convenience store slushie right before the concert.

Sudafed or something with Sudafed in it for nasal drip. Give a 12 hour dose asap as it might make her sleepy at first.

Get some sugar and caffeine in her before the concert. Can also try excedrin migraine for headache, it has caffeine.

Hot tea with honey.

Thank you. This was actually helpful and I appreciate it. -OP

I'd report you to CPS if I knew you did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

Not being there means they will not be able to audition for the spring program. Director: “it’s in the handbook, we can’t make exceptions for one person or we would have to make an exception for everyone.”

I think that’s ultimately more responsible than other activities she’s been involved in that had multiple sets of rules depending on if you were a favorite, but still- this is no fun. One hour until she needs to make a final choice.

If they're really this inflexible, be an adult and say no. If you really care about this orchestra, threaten litigation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 TB ACV in a bottle of water every 3 hours. Add a drop of iodine if you have the edible kind (not the drug store kind, that’s poisonous).

Ice pack on back of neck, Can even stuff one in her bra during the concert if she’s really feeling terrible.

Eating ice chips Can help too, maybe a convenience store slushie right before the concert.

Sudafed or something with Sudafed in it for nasal drip. Give a 12 hour dose asap as it might make her sleepy at first.

Get some sugar and caffeine in her before the concert. Can also try excedrin migraine for headache, it has caffeine.

Hot tea with honey.

Thank you. This was actually helpful and I appreciate it. -OP

I'd report you to CPS if I knew you did this.

And they would laugh at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 TB ACV in a bottle of water every 3 hours. Add a drop of iodine if you have the edible kind (not the drug store kind, that’s poisonous).

Ice pack on back of neck, Can even stuff one in her bra during the concert if she’s really feeling terrible.

Eating ice chips Can help too, maybe a convenience store slushie right before the concert.

Sudafed or something with Sudafed in it for nasal drip. Give a 12 hour dose asap as it might make her sleepy at first.

Get some sugar and caffeine in her before the concert. Can also try excedrin migraine for headache, it has caffeine.

Hot tea with honey.

Thank you. This was actually helpful and I appreciate it. -OP

I'd report you to CPS if I knew you did this.

And they would laugh at you.

Stuffing ice into a bra rather than seeking medical care for a fever severe enough to require icing down a kid? Absolutely that would be taken seriously. Half you people are nuts.

[Anonymous]

CPS would not care. The better question is why would a conductor want a sick kid who would be touching everything and breathing on everyone infect the rest of the group. That's really selfish. If your kid is that good, they will get a spot in the next thing. MCYO is fine with missing for being sick. We've had to. They are not fine with taking vacations or skipping just because as MCYO comes first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1-2 TB ACV in a bottle of water every 3 hours. Add a drop of iodine if you have the edible kind (not the drug store kind, that’s poisonous).

Ice pack on back of neck, Can even stuff one in her bra during the concert if she’s really feeling terrible.

Eating ice chips Can help too, maybe a convenience store slushie right before the concert.

Sudafed or something with Sudafed in it for nasal drip. Give a 12 hour dose asap as it might make her sleepy at first.

Get some sugar and caffeine in her before the concert. Can also try excedrin migraine for headache, it has caffeine.

Hot tea with honey.

Thank you. This was actually helpful and I appreciate it. -OP

I'd report you to CPS if I knew you did this.

And they would laugh at you.

Stuffing ice into a bra rather than seeking medical care for a fever severe enough to require icing down a kid? Absolutely that would be taken seriously. Half you people are nuts.

Have you ever been on stage for a performance? It’s hot as $&&@ up there, ice packs for everyone wouldn’t be a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my kid. She had a major role (not the lead, but a key role with a solo) in a play for which there was no understudy. If she didn’t go, they would have either cancelled or had a random person do it on book and without performing the songs; it would have totally wrecked the show. There was no opportunity to reschedule because it was in a borrowed/fully scheduled venue. She performed, Zofraned up, while vomiting backstage twice. Everyone knew; we were totally upfront about it. There was not a single suggestion that she shouldn’t perform. Obviously she did not want to ruin 6 months of everyone’s hard work. Things happen, OP, I totally get it and would not force my DD to stay home if she didn’t want to in your position.