Help me prop my DD up tonight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD plays an instrument and has a mandatory holiday concert tonight. If she isn’t there, her part won’t be covered and she may lose her spot for the spring. It’s not a wind instrument and she can wear a mask, and her Covid tests are negative.

However, she’s pretty down for the count and has a fever, sore throat and headache with post nasal drip. I’m alternating cold/cough medicine with Motrin and making her light smoothies with ginger and coconut water and pineapple juice. What else can I do to revive her for the evening?

And yes, I know I shouldn’t send a sick kid out into the world, but the Covid era of forgiveness for absences for illness is definitely over at her school and at her activities. And obviously she wouldn’t have caught something if someone else didn’t go out with it first.

The bolded are pre-COVID reasons to keep a sick kid home. You're not talking about mild nasal congestion and a kid who feels fine, which was what the COVID nuttery was about.

PS - illnesses can (and often are) spread asymptomatically. The whole "someone else went out with it, too" isn't an excuse.

Yes this is like a weird overreaction to covid in the other direction.

In 2019, if you were so sick that you literally needed to be propped up, you stayed home. You would go to the doctor, get tested for whatever was going around, and seek appropriate treatment.

Now it's like, to prove you're not one of those crazy covid people, you have to show up everywhere no matter how sick you are, make sure you don't get tested for anything and just white knuckle it. No mask because people might be suspicious you are sick (apparently the clammy skin, raspy voice, and congestion won't give it away).

Actually, where I live and work this was the norm pre-covid and is back to the norm now.

Where is that, a federal prison? Come on - thinking that it's okay for someone very obviously sick, very obviously miserable, out and about is not okay, especially not for a kid. Just because some workplaces are intolerant of normal human illness doesn't mean that's an okay way to be. There's a middle ground here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD plays an instrument and has a mandatory holiday concert tonight. If she isn’t there, her part won’t be covered and she may lose her spot for the spring. It’s not a wind instrument and she can wear a mask, and her Covid tests are negative.

However, she’s pretty down for the count and has a fever, sore throat and headache with post nasal drip. I’m alternating cold/cough medicine with Motrin and making her light smoothies with ginger and coconut water and pineapple juice. What else can I do to revive her for the evening?

And yes, I know I shouldn’t send a sick kid out into the world, but the Covid era of forgiveness for absences for illness is definitely over at her school and at her activities. And obviously she wouldn’t have caught something if someone else didn’t go out with it first.

Does she recall being around anyone as sick as she is now? People are sometimes contagious before they have obvious symptoms and they unknowingly spread illness. Don’t compare that to what you’re contemplating doing. You’re choosing to expose lots of people to something worse than the sniffles.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP’s that she should stay home with a fever. Whether or not she goes or stays, I hope she feels better soon. Here’s a list of things my family does to feel better when we’re sick:

Gargle salt water (sore throat)
Vick’s plug-in
Cloraseptic Sore Throat Spray
Onions and garlic (Italian food? - has tomatoes too , Salsa?)
mustard
frozen sweetened sliced strawberries thawed (or mostly thawed)
Citrus - clementines, pineapple, etc.
Bigelow I Love Lemon Tea (has vitamin C) with honey
Chicken Soup (I like. Progresso)
Puffs facial tissues

DD likes butterscotch pudding.

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. I assume your DD plays a stringed instrument rather than a wind instrument but it's hard to imagine what could be irreplaceable (harp?? or maybe she has a solo of some kind??)

[Anonymous]

I posted in elementary school forum about my little kid who is missing a school concert tonight due to illness. She’s probably too little to fake her way through it but I wish she could.

Just commiserating. It’s no fun to miss something special and probably harder to negotiate around attendance at “mandatory” events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously? You'd send a kid with a fever out? Unreal.

People go to school and work with fevers every day. It isn’t 2020-21.

At some point it becomes necessary. Last year my DD missed 10 days of school (two different weeks) due to fevers. School freaked out about attendance even though she was complying with their fever policy. She was applying to schools and it had to be put in her applications. Her main extracurricular was in jeopardy, too.

There were obviously kids going in to school and activities who were way more sick than she was and who she caught it from. It’s fine to play by the rules in preschool but the stakes get higher for older kids and it backs families into tough corners.

No, you just valued her extracurriculars more than your daughter's health and the health of everyone around her.

This! And I would do the same thing. My kids and their success is more important to me than random strangers health. Now, if these things weren't in contradiction, one could value both.

So you're not only a selfish ass, but a proud one at that???

[Anonymous]

Please keep your kid home and not make everyone sick. She will touch everything and it can transfer on surfaces. The band director or conductor will understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has been playing in MCYO for years. They are allowed one absence per concert season, and dress rehearsals and concerts are mandatory. *But* - if you contact the managers, there is obviously leeway when the child is feverish and clearly ill. I know MCYO would never want to have an actively contagious child at a concert, the venue (Strathmore) would hate that and it's against both their sick policies.

You MUST contact the manager and explain the situation. If your child loses her spot because of this absence, this is NOT a youth orchestra she wants to be in!!!

In the event she feels slightly better and wants to go, WEAR A BLACK MASK. This is what MCYO students wore last year and some still do. It's socially acceptable for musicians on stage, and the medically responsible thing to do.

- musician parent.

Mcyo would prefer you stay home. My kid has missed due to illness and no big deal. The kids still masking have health issues or a parent does.

[Anonymous]

Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD plays an instrument and has a mandatory holiday concert tonight. If she isn’t there, her part won’t be covered and she may lose her spot for the spring. It’s not a wind instrument and she can wear a mask, and her Covid tests are negative.

However, she’s pretty down for the count and has a fever, sore throat and headache with post nasal drip. I’m alternating cold/cough medicine with Motrin and making her light smoothies with ginger and coconut water and pineapple juice. What else can I do to revive her for the evening?

And yes, I know I shouldn’t send a sick kid out into the world, but the Covid era of forgiveness for absences for illness is definitely over at her school and at her activities. And obviously she wouldn’t have caught something if someone else didn’t go out with it first.

The bolded are pre-COVID reasons to keep a sick kid home. You're not talking about mild nasal congestion and a kid who feels fine, which was what the COVID nuttery was about.

PS - illnesses can (and often are) spread asymptomatically. The whole "someone else went out with it, too" isn't an excuse.

Yes this is like a weird overreaction to covid in the other direction.

In 2019, if you were so sick that you literally needed to be propped up, you stayed home. You would go to the doctor, get tested for whatever was going around, and seek appropriate treatment.

Now it's like, to prove you're not one of those crazy covid people, you have to show up everywhere no matter how sick you are, make sure you don't get tested for anything and just white knuckle it. No mask because people might be suspicious you are sick (apparently the clammy skin, raspy voice, and congestion won't give it away).

+1
So dumb to "prove" covid isnt real or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, she'll eventually discuss it in therapy as part of her reflection on having a hard-charging mom who couldn't tolerate the idea that she might lose her seat in an important musical outfit.

Good luck.

Most likely. "My mom cared more about my orchestra than my health"

Op here. It’s not an orchestra but same difference. I very much want her to stay home, but she very much wants to go. She isn’t an elementary school kid who I can just carry upstairs and tuck into bed, and I understand her perspective because she doesn’t want to miss future opportunities that are important to her. Music is not my thing and I wish we could just blow this off and move on. I think the director’s rules create bad incentives and set kids and families up to make bad decisions.

Have you tried calling the director? "Mandatory" probably doesn't mean "when you're too ill to sit up straight and need an ice pack in your bra." It might be the kid's anxiety that she'll get cut.

Not being there means they will not be able to audition for the spring program. Director: “it’s in the handbook, we can’t make exceptions for one person or we would have to make an exception for everyone.”

I think that’s ultimately more responsible than other activities she’s been involved in that had multiple sets of rules depending on if you were a favorite, but still- this is no fun. One hour until she needs to make a final choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD plays an instrument and has a mandatory holiday concert tonight. If she isn’t there, her part won’t be covered and she may lose her spot for the spring. It’s not a wind instrument and she can wear a mask, and her Covid tests are negative.

However, she’s pretty down for the count and has a fever, sore throat and headache with post nasal drip. I’m alternating cold/cough medicine with Motrin and making her light smoothies with ginger and coconut water and pineapple juice. What else can I do to revive her for the evening?

And yes, I know I shouldn’t send a sick kid out into the world, but the Covid era of forgiveness for absences for illness is definitely over at her school and at her activities. And obviously she wouldn’t have caught something if someone else didn’t go out with it first.

I would not do this to my child. If they are sick they are sick. Whoever is saying they can’t miss must not be a parent. Are they threatening this but really won’t follow through?