Do you still flirt with DH / DW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes… I leave my worn panties in his gym back with a note… 😈

DW leaves them in my office drawer, I love her.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative

Thank you. I am the OP who asked. My wife gets all envious when she sees these cringy FB spouse worship posts. I think they reek of too much effort and there's probably some reason behind them.

You know OP I’ve been married for almost 11 years. I used to feel a little bit like your wife reading those posts. Then I did drift from social media and saw enough evidence that the people who did that the most were the least happy that I let it go.

But this year my husband wrote the sappiest goofiest post on Facebook about me for our anniversary. And while I will admit I actually kind of cringe in embarrassment thinking about it, it also was so incredibly sweet and made me feel so incredibly loved because it was written so entirely from the heart and it’s so hard for him to share emotions so it was a true loving gesture.

If your wife is envious of those, perhaps she is not feeling your love. If you don’t want to post on Facebook I think that’s fine (although this was my husbands first post in years haha!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the occasional gesture. I flirt with my husband a lot but that doesn’t make up for the occasional moment of really deep connection/expression of love. Write a sappy card, bring home some flowers every once in awhile. Put some deep personal part of yourself in whatever it is.

If this is just about Facebook she’s of course being silly. But things like this are why it’s couples in trouble pouring themselves out all the time on social media. Someone feels unloved so the partner has to do something performative. But it doesn’t work because it’s not really from the heart.

Point taken. I know I need to show her more love. It just won't be on Facebook as I don't like to call attention to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

I don’t t consider that public flirting. That is people looking for attention from anyone.

I meant publuc flirting as in
- at an event occasionally finding DH throughout the evening to just tell him in a few words what I plan on doing to him later
- making sure my dress rides up little higher when he opens my car door and helps me out
- my favorite, introducing him to the woman that most guys are ogling, excusing myself standing on the other side of the room while giving him glancing F me eyes knowing that I am the only one that he wants
-going shopping with him, trying on something that I know he will like and sending him a quick pic.
-excusing my self at a restaurant coming back to table with a subtle change that I know will get him going

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative

Thank you. I am the OP who asked. My wife gets all envious when she sees these cringy FB spouse worship posts. I think they reek of too much effort and there's probably some reason behind them.

You know OP I’ve been married for almost 11 years. I used to feel a little bit like your wife reading those posts. Then I did drift from social media and saw enough evidence that the people who did that the most were the least happy that I let it go.

But this year my husband wrote the sappiest goofiest post on Facebook about me for our anniversary. And while I will admit I actually kind of cringe in embarrassment thinking about it, it also was so incredibly sweet and made me feel so incredibly loved because it was written so entirely from the heart and it’s so hard for him to share emotions so it was a true loving gesture.

If your wife is envious of those, perhaps she is not feeling your love. If you don’t want to post on Facebook I think that’s fine (although this was my husbands first post in years haha!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the occasional gesture. I flirt with my husband a lot but that doesn’t make up for the occasional moment of really deep connection/expression of love. Write a sappy card, bring home some flowers every once in awhile. Put some deep personal part of yourself in whatever it is.

If this is just about Facebook she’s of course being silly. But things like this are why it’s couples in trouble pouring themselves out all the time on social media. Someone feels unloved so the partner has to do something performative. But it doesn’t work because it’s not really from the heart.

Point taken. I know I need to show her more love. It just won't be on Facebook as I don't like to call attention to myself.

Yeah your issue isn't about Facebook, and don't get caught in the Facebook weeds. Romance her a bit, which is different from flirting!

[Anonymous]

No. We've tried separating three times. But, for the kids we didn't. We are amicable and basically living as roommates raising kids together. My partner has gained 30 pounds and never works out. Always talks about getting healthy but never does. Same broken record for ten years now. I've lost all physical interest in my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We've tried separating three times. But, for the kids we didn't. We are amicable and basically living as roommates raising kids together. My partner has gained 30 pounds and never works out. Always talks about getting healthy but never does. Same broken record for ten years now. I've lost all physical interest in my spouse.

I've gained 80, and my husband still can't keep his hands off me (to my annoyance, if we're being honest). You're the problem, not your spouse's weight.

[Anonymous]

Yes, everyday. I don't think I will ever stop it's just natural. We're very playful/affectionate. I like touching and embracing DH.