Do you still flirt with DH / DW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because he takes it as an invitation for sex. I have time to flirt while I am doing something else at the time; I do not necessarily have time to stop everything for sex.

So I stopped flirting.

I love a good a quickie and so does DH .

When I'm cooking dinner and the kids are around, it's not a good time.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

These are the best husbands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not with DH, I flirt with other men.

My ex flirted with other wives until I divorced him. Kudos to those who keep it in the marriage

[Anonymous]

Of course I flirt with him but never in public. He’ll be sitting at our kitchen counter reading and I will come up behind him and wrap my arms around his neck and say nice things. It may only be 15 seconds but the effect is pretty nice. He does similar things to me and it means a lot. We may be empty nesters but we’re still very alive.

[Anonymous]

Yes… I leave my worn panties in his gym back with a note… 😈

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

These are the best husbands

Probably doing it to overcompensate for their cheating. Or to cover up other things. I don't need the world to hear how great I am, I just need to hear it from my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

My first thought when I see these kinds of Facebook posts, I jump to the conclusion that there has been some kind of infidelity in their past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really because she doesn't flirt back. It's like playing racquetball against drapes.

Not trying to flirt with you, but this is a really funny image!

[Anonymous]

We do and I don’t even know how to describe it. Sometimes it’s saying things to make each other laugh, sometimes it’s touching each other in a way that means “I’m up for it later”. We don’t typically do it in front of other people (together 27 years)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative

Thank you. I am the OP who asked. My wife gets all envious when she sees these cringy FB spouse worship posts. I think they reek of too much effort and there's probably some reason behind them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not with DH, I flirt with other men.

My ex flirted with other wives until I divorced him. Kudos to those who keep it in the marriage

Flirting is fun, DH doesn’t like to flirt so I do it with other men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.

Meh depends on how it is done.

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative

Thank you. I am the OP who asked. My wife gets all envious when she sees these cringy FB spouse worship posts. I think they reek of too much effort and there's probably some reason behind them.

You know OP I’ve been married for almost 11 years. I used to feel a little bit like your wife reading those posts. Then I did drift from social media and saw enough evidence that the people who did that the most were the least happy that I let it go.

But this year my husband wrote the sappiest goofiest post on Facebook about me for our anniversary. And while I will admit I actually kind of cringe in embarrassment thinking about it, it also was so incredibly sweet and made me feel so incredibly loved because it was written so entirely from the heart and it’s so hard for him to share emotions so it was a true loving gesture.

If your wife is envious of those, perhaps she is not feeling your love. If you don’t want to post on Facebook I think that’s fine (although this was my husbands first post in years haha!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the occasional gesture. I flirt with my husband a lot but that doesn’t make up for the occasional moment of really deep connection/expression of love. Write a sappy card, bring home some flowers every once in awhile. Put some deep personal part of yourself in whatever it is.

If this is just about Facebook she’s of course being silly. But things like this are why it’s couples in trouble pouring themselves out all the time on social media. Someone feels unloved so the partner has to do something performative. But it doesn’t work because it’s not really from the heart.