Reply to Do you still flirt with DH / DW?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Doing it in public is performative public display, not flirting.[/quote]

Meh depends on how it is done.[/quote]

How about when husbands boast about how amazing their wives are on Facebook? Or vice versa?[/quote]

That is not flirting. If you think that is flirting than I guess that explains why you think it’s performative[/quote]

Thank you. I am the OP who asked. My wife gets all envious when she sees these cringy FB spouse worship posts. I think they reek of too much effort and there's probably some reason behind them.[/quote]

You know OP I’ve been married for almost 11 years. I used to feel a little bit like your wife reading those posts. Then I did drift from social media and saw enough evidence that the people who did that the most were the least happy that I let it go.

But this year my husband wrote the sappiest goofiest post on Facebook about me for our anniversary. And while I will admit I actually kind of cringe in embarrassment thinking about it, it also was so incredibly sweet and made me feel so incredibly loved because it was written so entirely from the heart and it’s so hard for him to share emotions so it was a true loving gesture.

If your wife is envious of those, perhaps she is not feeling your love. If you don’t want to post on Facebook I think that’s fine (although this was my husbands first post in years haha!), but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the occasional gesture. I flirt with my husband a lot but that doesn’t make up for the occasional moment of really deep connection/expression of love. Write a sappy card, bring home some flowers every once in awhile. Put some deep personal part of yourself in whatever it is.

If this is just about Facebook she’s of course being silly. But things like this are why it’s couples in trouble pouring themselves out all the time on social media. Someone feels unloved so the partner has to do something performative. But it doesn’t work because it’s not really from the heart.[/quote]

Point taken. I know I need to show her more love. It just won't be on Facebook as I don't like to call attention to myself.[/quote]

Yeah your issue isn't about Facebook, and don't get caught in the Facebook weeds. Romance her a bit, which is different from flirting![/quote]

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