Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s ok. People do this all over the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely has to? ok. Don't expect to know -exactly- what goes on. Not a good scenario. Do it, only with the continued effort to find a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

Teenagers have these responsibilities in most countries. They care for younger siblings. It’s not ideal, I agree, but in the short terms it’s fine. I would look for a better solution long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the 16 year old handle an emergency? Would they sleep through a smoke alarm? If someone breaks into the house, how would he react? Most 16 can handle the simple issues, but an emergency could test their skills to the limit. Could a parent live with the worst case scenario?

I’m an adult and I wouldn’t handle a break-in with ease. It would be really freaking traumatic.

If that’s the standard to be home alone, none of the 40 and 50 year old parents in my neighborhood qualify to be in their own houses alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.

No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.

Teenagers have these responsibilities in most countries. They care for younger siblings. It’s not ideal, I agree, but in the short terms it’s fine. I would look for a better solution long term.

Lots of things are fine in other countries. It isn't ok in this country. OP is dumping parental responsibilities on her 16 year old daughter. If this were for a couple of weeks, ok, but this is permanent. It is OP''s problem nota 16 year old problem.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s completely fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn’t sound unreasonable to me, especially if you set up supports in case anything goes wrong, and outside of the overnights the kids have your support and ability to be kids.

At 16 I was staying alone every night with an 18 year old and a cabin ***of*** 10 year olds for 2 months a summer by choice.

If the trade off is financial stability and waking hours with a parent it seems worth it if there are no better options.

Can you type this again in English?

May be because I am not native English speaker, I found PPs post very clear.

Op, as others mentioned it’s not ideal, but doable.

I used to stay alone overnight twice a week for about 2 years between 11-13 (grew up in the 1980’s) as one parent worked in a different city during the week and the other had 28 hour shifts twice a week. Usually got home with the bus, had lunch, dinner, made homework alone, woke up alone, made myself breakfast, & took the bus to school.

At 12 and 16, they’d manage. As others said, important that they’re able to reach you or another trusted adult in an emergency or an issue that they cannot solve on their own.

[Anonymous]

It comes down to the maturity of the kids and you are the only judge of that. When my oldest was 16 I won,d have trusted him but still be nervous.

[Anonymous]

Makes for a touching personal statement for college admissions!

[Anonymous]

It's fine as long as both your kids NEVER tell anyone that they are spending the night alone. Not their friends, not their teachers, not their coaches or teammates.

If they can keep it to themselves then it is fine. My grandmother had a baby and lived by herself at 16 while her husband worked the night shift.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s better than losing your livelihood.

Where do you live? Is it near a university? Maybe you could find a grad student to live in a spare room if you have one?

Also, are you in an apartment? A big building with lots of locks on the door etc would be safer than a house, or at least it might feel safer.

[Anonymous]

I think its fine, and I think potentially better than working like 4-10pm all the time and missing their lives.

I would definitely have a good security and monitoring system, like door sensors. I would also ensure they're each in charge of themselves, but the 16 year old has final say.

16 should not be doing any parenting type duties unless paid and agreeable, but even then, not ideal (like making sure 12 does homework & takes a shower). They can do chores evenly.

[Anonymous]

Teen parents are responsible for their infants 27/7, so yes, I think a 16 and 12 year old have got this.

[Anonymous]

^24/7